Monday, October 20, 2008

the coming darkness


how unlike me, it's been almost a week since i blogged! the autumn holiday is over. it's affectionately called the kartoffelferie--potato holiday--because at one time it meant that children were released from school to help with the potato harvest. now, it's just a week off where children are ushered from one fun activity to the next. we squeezed in a couple of learning activities as well, like a visit to an old mill, where we watched flour being ground and bought some to take home to make bread (and where i took the above picture of some old, broken millstones).

but now, it seems we settle in in earnest to the dark winter months. the sun gets up late and goes down early. the yard is covered in leaves, although no killing frost has yet come to my dahlias (they are IN the greenhouse after all), it will come soon. we've harvested the last tomatoes and made warming sauces and soups with them. we're using the fireplace in the evenings and in general, closing down and tucking in, ready to wait out the long, dark winter.

although fall is my favorite, the dread of the darkness weighs heavily on me. maybe it's the darkness and the rain along with all of the negativity of the election (seriously, are there REALLY two weeks left before this madness is over?) that has me feeling a bit down. it didn't help that last night, i watched this movie--en soap--by danish director pernille fischer christiansen. very well-acted, but very disturbing because the two main characters are just so completely messed up. i'm not sure why i kept watching it, as i could actually feel it getting me down. i actually went to bed with a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach from watching it. i'm not sure it's enriching to the soul to watch people with totally fucked up lives further fuck them up, even if the acting is great. it wasn't a "there but for the grace of god" feeling it gave, but more the feeling of having come upon a horrible accident and being unable to look away from the mangled metal and bloody limbs. disturbing.

i think it's time for some tea and some candles and some cheerful music to snap me out of this funk. what do you do to cheer yourself up when you need it?

5 comments:

Amanda said...

to cheer me up...the best thing I can think of is to cuddle up on the couch with a blanket and my kiddos snuggling in with me, no tv, no music, just me and the kids.

That usually lasts about 30 secoonds! :)

julochka said...

hi amanda--i think it would last about 30 seconds around here too, then the child would insist on bowling against me on the Wii or playing cards or designing Bratz clothing or something...never any peace. :-) but listening to music and has helped significantly since I wrote that one... :-)

smith kaich jones said...

Pretty movies that make me wish I were there - movies with no deep message. Movies from my childhood. I recently watched Pollyanna instead of some political ickiness on another channel. I'm big on things like Under the Tuscan Sun - so-so movie, incredible book, but nontheless the movie makes me happy; Anna and the King w/Jodie Foster because the King is just so good looking & the landscapes wonderful; Shirley Valentine because she gets away; A Little Princess - the one from 1995 - because it's just so gorgeous. The latest Little Women. Lord of the Rings. Movies that make me feel safe, and even better that I've seen them a thousand times. No surprises.

:) Debi

tangobaby said...

Oh, I wish I would have been here yesterday with some advice for you. I really have stopped watching movies like that for the most part. The older I get, the harder it is to stomach horrors, even if it is considered "art."

If I were you and I had enough energy to go outside, I'd go for a walk. I'd buy an armful of books (not that you need them) or maybe a lipstick. And eat something yummy.

If I couldn't make it out the door, I'd probably watch some Laurel and Hardy (Way Out West is a good one, with the tickle scene) or something beautiful and romantic like Amelie.

julochka said...

thanks debi and tb for all of the suggestions, i will definitely try some of them out next time i'm in a deep blue funk. happily, i seem to have snapped out of it quickly.