Friday, June 17, 2011

still thinking about char


still thinking about char. feeling a bit better after reading beth's blog today. it's still not ok that she's gone and i miss her terribly...i had photo issues today and my immediate thought was, "i need to ask char what she would do." but i can't do that. and that's brought tears to my eyes more than once since i learned this yesterday morning.

this whole thing has left me thinking that passwords and last wishes about our cyberlives need to be included in our wills. i told husband that i want him to post on my blog, twitter, facebook, etc. if i die unexpectedly, letting everyone know. it's easy if he does it on one of my computers, as it all automatically signs in, so he doesn't even need to know my passwords, tho' he knows those too. but i would want to let everyone know what happened - whatever it may be.  he told me to pre-write the post, so he could just post it, but if i could predict the future...

in all of this, i am grateful for this cyberlife we have. i love that char's blog lives on (and i hope it continues to do so), so i can go back to it and read it and feel close to her and remember her. and i treasure every comment she left on my blog even more so now than i did. (why is that we most appreciate that which we no longer have?)

it all brings up interesting questions of the reality of virtual friendship that i'm not yet finished processing. i feel as bereft losing char as if i'd lost a close friend that i knew in real life, even tho' we never met. she was a wonderful person and i am grateful that the slim chance that we would find one another here in cyberspace indeed worked. of all the blogs out there, i feel richer for mine having crossed paths with hers. we share so much of ourselves here (tho' it's impossible to share it all), that we may in some ways know one another better than we know our real life friends. it's a privilege that i hope to be more conscious of after losing char. it's the least i can do.

13 comments:

stephanie said...

Great post. I've been thinking a lot about what I would want to have happen if I died unexpectedly and wanted all my cyber-friends to know about it.

I think this whole situation is a really strong testament to the excellent friendships you can build through blogging and the like. We might not have met in person, but we miss her as much as we would have if we had.

Karen said...

What Stephanie said... thanks for putting a voice to this issue, a fact of life! I didn't know Char until her passing.. her posts were truly a ray of light, sad to hear she is gone.

mrs mediocrity said...

I only learned of this today after getting back on my feet after surgery. I didn't know Char very well, but I can feel that the world has lost a beautiful soul. I think we call people our cyber friends because we don't see them face to face, but we are all people, with the hearts of people, a friend is a friend. sending hugs.

Wendy McDonagh-Valentine said...

Such a beautiful post. It sounds like so many lives were bettered for having crossed paths with her path. God bless. : )

~ Wendy

suzyQ said...

just stumbled upon your blog, and i have fallen in love! char was such a special lady, and the loss of her has left me with so many questions about blogging as well. i so treasure my virtual friendships, and i love your idea of having someone post if something ever happens to me. thinking about you and everyone touched by this tragedy!
xo

missing moments said...

This was a very touching post about Char and our friendships. Our cyber friendships can be stronger than those we see daily .. that's what I love about this community.

Maggie May said...

I"m so very sorry. That is so awful, so fast and unexpected.

Bonnie said...

I have had three good friends in the blogging community die - one a totally unforseeable suicide. It really surprised me how deeply I have been affected by these deaths. I think of these dear friends still.

Each horrific event was handled beautifully on their blog by their loved ones and me made me think that I would want to ensure the same sensitivity if something unexpected happened to me.

Thank you for mentionning this. It is important that we not abruptly disappear and leave our friends hanging in 'limbo'.

Tracy Golightly-Garcia said...

Hello Julie

I did not know Char-but her passing has left me sad. I never thought about leaving a message on my blog if something should happen to me, but I do agree with you--we should.

Have a nice day!

Best
Tracy :)

Barbara Shallue said...

I think you speak for all of us who have stepped out into this virtual world and made friends we only know through words or photographs, but realize that makes them no less of a real friendship than the face-to-face ones. Beautiful post!

beth said...

you have completely and beautifully spoken for all of us. thank you.

i couldn't agree more with you, on anything you said...i have also made sure my hubby knows what to do, regarding my blog, in case anything would ever happen to me....

maybe this is just another gift that char has given to all of us....xo

Shokoofeh said...

This post and also Beth's left me with a strange feeling of sadness, gratitude and more other feelings without names... Don't really know what to say except that I am grateful to be in this wonderful circle of blog people like you; who concerns, who believe and who cares...
To char in peace.

love you J.
xo

Cozy Little House said...

I just found out, and have been surfing her friends to learn more. On either side of my couch are two of Char's framed enlarged photos. I've had them for several years now, and I've loved them more each time I gaze at them. I thought of her as a free spirit, and now she is. I will miss her so.
Brenda