Wednesday, July 13, 2011

not ready


summer is too fleeting and feels even more so when it comes only in fits and starts. we had a few really nice days...eating outdoors, playing outside, soaking up the sun and now it's back to rain, rain, rain. it's actually ok, as i have plenty indoors to do, but i want to be outdoors and there's lots to do there as well. i'm not ready to let go of summer. i'm just not ready.

strangely, this evening, after chilling us with a steady drizzle all day, the western sky was the most amazing shades of pink and orange. absolutely lovely! and somehow made even lovelier by the fact that it was still raining. the cold drops and warm sky were just those sort of opposites (like feathers and stones) that speak to my very soul.

at least this sunset was at 10:22 p.m., which means i haven't yet begun to feel the light's retreat, tho' it's been nearly a month since the solstice.  i'm grateful for that. i'm just not ready.

our pooka leaves tomorrow to visit friends and go sailing with them for ten days or so. i know she's going to have so much fun, but i'm going to miss her. i feel acutely that i need to enjoy her this summer, while she's this age - still a child, not yet a teenager. i want to hold onto that so tightly, at the same time as i know i cannot.

i'm just not ready.

in so many ways.

*  *  *

one of the coolest things i've seen in a long time. 
there's even more about it here.

7 comments:

NuminosityBeads said...

Your summer is sounding so much like our subarctic summer. We had anice week but it was grey and coolagain today. At least now with my Arizona winters I don't worry so much about missing out on the hot days but still...It's my favorite. I think as we age we realize how fleeting the season really is.
xoxo Kim

missing moments said...

OH, want to go on that sailboat with them!!!

Tracy Golightly-Garcia said...

Hello Julie

Trust me--I understand how you feel on letting go. I am having to accept my little one is not so little anymore.

Have a great day!

Best
Tracy :)

celkalee said...

lovely sunset, dusk is such a special time of day. in a melancholy way, each phase of your child's life and growth are like sunsets. bitter sweet moments to cherish. we raise them to be strong and independent while at the same time trying not to cling, to smother. my answer is to keep very busy and hope that the wrinkles of life sort themselves out into a proper order. and it will. having said that, i'm not ready either, never was, never will be.

Sammi said...

Amen, this year it does feel like summer has barely began!!

Yup, teenagers can be hard work, although for everything you have written and said about Sabin, I don't think she will be too much trouble :)

Cozy Little House said...

Treasure these years. My girls are in their thirties. I did not know you were the one associated with blog I featured on Welcome Wagon! Small world, huh? I thought when I read your name, I'd only heard of it in association with this blog. And asked myself: Could it be? But then dismissed it. It is indeed one and the same you!
Brenda

Teri and the cats of Curlz and Swirlz said...

I never had children but I think I can feel the 'pull' you are feeling...