Friday, September 04, 2015
the light is changing, becoming autumnal and i mind it less than i thought i would. we didn't have much summer this summer and i thought i would dread the autumn, but, like many other transitions at the moment, it feels like it's right and like it's what's next, just the natural progression of things. what doesn't feel right is that i'm in a waiting phase once again and time has slowed down once again. it doesn't get easier. and it doesn't help my sleep. in fact, it feels like torture, cruelty even. i just want to know what's next and get on with it.
in the meantime, i find myself seeking comfort. soft sheep pelts tossed over chairs, purring cats, the smell of apples baking in the oven, long walks listening to podcasts, a new cut & color. it helps but it doesn't help.
what also doesn't help is an unexpectedly rude email, reading the news, people playing games for no logical reason, strange dreams of wolves and not sleeping properly.
our yearly krebsegilde (the swedish crayfish party) is this weekend and perhaps that will help. tradition, combined with laughter can sometimes do that.
in the meantime, i try to breathe in and just get through it.