Thursday, November 12, 2015

waiting (and pain) win


this is my view, these long, painful days, spent mostly in bed. i feel like i'm once again being taught a lesson in patience. back pain takes the time it takes to heal, there's no hurrying it along and there's no escape from it. and there's no denying it and just pretending it's not there. it wins, every time. i've spent so much time waiting over the past year and all of it has been agony in some sense. maybe i'm supposed to be learning a lesson here...about patience and taking things one step at a time. but i remain resistant and defiant to that lesson. i want my back to be better now, so i can go back to work at my wonderful new job. i want to be without the intense pain of the past two weeks. yes, i've been in steady pain for two whole weeks. what is it i'm supposed to learn from that? to get in better shape? to take better care of my body? probably, but the doctor also says it wasn't necessarily something i did, it could just be bad luck. but as i lie here, grateful for the company of cats, i do ponder yoga and meditation and maybe even taking up running. i'm ready for the pain to pass. it feels like i've waited long enough. but i suppose it will take the time it takes. and there's no getting around that. i do wish someone would clean the muddy pawprints off that window tho'...

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can't afford to live in london? try copenhagen.

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what if hipsters need help too?
you may think i'm posting this facetiously, but it's definitely a good read.

4 comments:

Lynne said...

So sorry to hear you are still in such pain

Lynne said...

So sorry to hear you are still in such pain

cestlavietlb said...

:( Sorry you are still in such pain. It might be worth looking into seeing a biokineticist? They will work with you to identify postural weaknesses and prescribe exercises (in the yoga/pilates style of things) to strengthen those areas which should hopefully prevent or mitigate any furture problems. I haev had great success with that approach with my back (though my problems are not as bad as herniated discs!) and recent knee troubles, but you have to stick to the exercises! xx
Hopefully you heal soon!

Spilling Ink said...

Not everything happens for a reason and sometimes there's no lesson you're supposed to learn. But, that's not to say that there's no lesson you can learn from this.

I hope you get better soon and that you get pain free. Pain is taxing on the mind and outlook, and you're used to doing to this must feel like being in prison being tortured.