Tuesday, November 15, 2016

inexplicable

i'm still numb. i keep hoping every morning when i wake up, that it was just a bad dream. but apparently it's not, tho' it continues to spiral downward and seem increasingly like a nightmare. and unfortunately, it's increasingly evident that we can't wake up from it. i spent last wednesday curled up in bed with the gilmore girls on netflix and a cuddly cat. it didn't help that much. i spent most of the day in tears. i cried until i had no tears left. and then i cried some more when i imagined how hillary must feel. it must be simply unbearable for her if it was this unbearable for me.

i've unsubscribed to a drove of the pundit podcasts i was listening to, as they self-servingly spurn hillary now that she's lost the electoral college (remember, she resoundingly won the popular vote) and open the door for the withered kumquat, giving him a chance he so richly does not deserve. i haven't been able to watch hillary's concession speech. and i turn away from anything the cheeto is saying as well. i. just. can't.

of course, every lunch conversation is about the election. everyone i meet offers their condolences. a friend even sent her husband over with two bottles of wine to make me feel better. i feel i am grieving. but then i realized that my overwhelming feeling (in addition to grief) is embarrassment. i feel mortified that the country of my birth chose this damaged, sociopathic, racist, sexual harassing narcissist to follow the very classy, intelligent obama. it's quite humiliating to have to answer for it to level-headed europeans who remember history all too well. i can't. i don't understand it myself, so how can i possibly explain it?

5 comments:

miniARTtour said...

I send you some warm beams of my heart .. love Andrea

will said...

When I was a kid studying ancient history and the fall of Rome, there was a question I kept asking my teachers, a question they couldn't answer - "How did the Romans end up with Nero as their emperor?"

Now I understand.

Susan Dougill said...

I love Wills answer. The whole world is with you. It’s a shock to everyone.

Ariadne said...

Obama was here, he spoke about Greece and democracy and lots more and made all Greeks proud!It's unbelievable that he won't be president after the New Year!What a pity!It's the system the Americans have to change. You can't possibly get the more votes but still not be president.Anyway kumquat is a very tasty fruit and smells beautifully and makes amazing liquor, so please do not compare it to that tasteless persona that the States will be having as their president just because it is yellow. You can compare with other yellowish things ...!AriadnefromGreece!

Feisty Harriet said...

I'm also still grieving. And cannot imagine how my fellow countrypeople have cast their votes. It's ridic.

xox