inexplicable

i'm still numb. i keep hoping every morning when i wake up, that it was just a bad dream. but apparently it's not, tho' it continues to spiral downward and seem increasingly like a nightmare. and unfortunately, it's increasingly evident that we can't wake up from it. i spent last wednesday curled up in bed with the gilmore girls on netflix and a cuddly cat. it didn't help that much. i spent most of the day in tears. i cried until i had no tears left. and then i cried some more when i imagined how hillary must feel. it must be simply unbearable for her if it was this unbearable for me.

i've unsubscribed to a drove of the pundit podcasts i was listening to, as they self-servingly spurn hillary now that she's lost the electoral college (remember, she resoundingly won the popular vote) and open the door for the withered kumquat, giving him a chance he so richly does not deserve. i haven't been able to watch hillary's concession speech. and i turn away from anything the cheeto is saying as well. i. just. can't.

of course, every lunch conversation is about the election. everyone i meet offers their condolences. a friend even sent her husband over with two bottles of wine to make me feel better. i feel i am grieving. but then i realized that my overwhelming feeling (in addition to grief) is embarrassment. i feel mortified that the country of my birth chose this damaged, sociopathic, racist, sexual harassing narcissist to follow the very classy, intelligent obama. it's quite humiliating to have to answer for it to level-headed europeans who remember history all too well. i can't. i don't understand it myself, so how can i possibly explain it?

taking comfort in kittens

after a wonderfully hectic week last week, involving being onboard four different ships and some very late nights, i've succumbed to a summer cold. the weather has deteriorated from glorious summer sunshine to dreary rain in tempo with my health. i have the comfort of kittens. and what a comfort they are. i'm utterly depressed and rendered speechless by the latest shooting in orlando and the vitriol of the fundamentalists and bigots of the world (all of whom seem to be filling my facebook feed). not even instagram was safe ground as my own nephew shared a worryingly pro-gun, pro-trump post. i wonder if he even knows what he's saying? or if he's parroting the society around him? it's all too depressing, so i retreat to the comfort of kittens and cups of tea and chicken soup with kale from the garden. and i wish that it would all go away - the terror, the bigotry, the hatred, the guns, the rain and this cold.

beyond logic and reason

last friday, south dakota's governor signed a bill which will allow teachers to carry firearms into their K-12 classrooms in the state of my birth. the bill does not mandate that teachers carry a firearm, but it authorizes an ominously-named "sentinel" who has had training (ala law enforcement training), to carry a gun on school premises. (you can see a whole list of all the bills he signed on friday here - there is probably reason to be alarmed on numerous counts, but that's another story.)

when i first read it in a new york times facebook post on friday, my initial reaction was a flush of embarrassment. people know i'm originally from south dakota and they will ask me about it, holding me responsible, taking me to task (tho' i haven't voted in south dakota for years (i vote in illinois, as it was the last state where i lived before moving to denmark)). but people took me personally to task back in the era of the monica lewinsky saga - "what are you doing to your president?" ("what monica did, given the chance," was always my pithy answer). alas i have no pithy answer for this one.

after a couple of days of thinking, my embarrassment hasn't abated. mostly, i think that south dakota was duped into this by a clever gun lobby. they got some numbskull of a freshman member of the house to introduce the bill, fed him a bunch of lines about it making schools safer, especially rural, isolated schools (where, to my knowledge, there have been no shootings) and some ego-stroking about being on the leading edge of the arming teachers movement and the republican-controlled legislature and governor steamed it right through. without thought or substantive debate. and frankly, they ought to be ashamed of themselves. and if they're not, i'm certainly feeling ashamed enough for them too.

even the largest newspaper in the state, the sioux falls argus-leader (which my parents refer to as the scene of the crime, since they met there), hasn't had a single editorial on the topic (at least not that i can find online). and they too should be ashamed of themselves.

a powerful gun lobby pushes such an detestable piece of legislation through in a conservative, sparsely-populated state and thinks it will start a domino effect of legislation in other states. and sadly, they're probably right. because we now live in a world where we legislate our to alleviate our fears. lawmakers are reactive, not proactive. but all of the legislation in the world can't prevent the lunacy of an individual with easy access to firearms.

these school shootings that have been happening (for years now - i remember one in the early 90s when i was a student at the university of iowa) are tragic and horrible and shouldn't happen. but how anyone can think that ensuring that there are guns present in a school can possibly help is simply beyond my ability to logically comprehend.

growing up with guns

i really do hate to use one of my last posts leading to number 2000 on the connecticut shooting, but i find i have a bit more to say, so use it i shall. tho' i do think that what jenna said about it is so well put that there's not really more to say.

i got a mail from a friend about the way that he, like many of us americans, was raised around guns.  and i have to admit that i was too. we had a really lovely rather bauhaus-style pistol in the buffet drawer and a number of shotguns standing down at the bottom of the basement stairs. i remember peeking in the drawer at the pistol to scare myself or show it conspiratorially to some friend, but never actually daring to touch it. it wasn't loaded anyway and i don't recall any bullets in the buffet drawer, so i imagine it was quite harmless. and i also imagine it's still there, tho' i didn't check when i was home last summer.

i loved (and still do) the story about it - my mother had inherited it from her aunt, who had been married to a banker in sgt. bluff, iowa. back in the 50s, someone had tried to kidnap her - it was such a wild story that it was written up in a one of those 50s detective magazines, mostly because as i recall, aunt mimi was feisty enough to escape from the kidnappers. but afterwards, her husband bought the pistol to protect her, in case it happened again. and we ended up with it in our buffet drawer. i think my dad tried to sell it to someone at one point, but it came back shortly afterwards, so that didn't really stick.

i also remember as a kid going with my mom to trap shooting competitions - she was pretty good and could compete with the best of the men. i always thought that was pretty cool. and a little bit as my sister often says, "mom is such a boy." i spent a lot of time reloading her ammunition with the reloader we had in the back room - a little dose of gunpowder, some bb's, a cap and a crimp (probably not in that order). i quite enjoyed that as a child.

pheasant hunting is a big thing in the area where i grew up, so hunting was a normal thing to me. many a meal was spent spitting out shot bb's from bites of meat. i never tried shooting pheasants myself, but i remember both of my parents doing so (that was in the days before they were all pen-raised with little sunglasses on). my folks weren't deer hunters that i can recall - dad always said something about how it would really only be sporting when the deer had guns too, but we did occasionally get deer meat from someone else. even today, i'm by no means against hunting (we have a friend who we allow to hunt on our lake - and we thoroughly enjoyed some ducks not long ago), i just don't do it myself.

i remember some raffle or other where dad won a gun, which only added to the 3-4 already at the bottom of the basement stairs, but i don't recall those guns being used that much after mom stopped trap-shooting. sometimes against the odd rabbit that was eating the apple trees or a nasty opossom or skunk that came around. i know i never had any desire to either mess with the guns or use them or even learn about them. they were just there, a fact of life. and i had no interest in them at all.

in the second grade, i was given a bb gun for christmas. we still lived in town at that point and i was told that it was meant to be used to shoot the dog next door, who was a really annoying barker. i probably did plunk him a couple of times (he was really annoying), but mostly, i think we shot at cans with that bb gun. and it certainly couldn't have killed anything, at least not with my shooting skills.

last summer, while we were back home, my cousin took sabin and her cousins out shooting at cans and jars. sabin thought it was fun. and i think it's a fine activity as long as there is adult supervision and proper instruction, which there was.

the fact is that most americans grow up around guns. they're a fact of life, they're in people's homes. we also all know someone who had an accident with one...a kid in the grade ahead of me shot off his toe (it must have been where he kept his brain, because he never amounted to anything after that) and one of my sister's classmates accidentally shot his little brother in the eye and wrecked his vision (but fortunately, didn't kill him).

but none of the guns in our home were assault weapons or semi-automatics. there needs to be more rules surrounding the possession of such guns - because it's just unnecessary to have them. you don't hunt with such guns, there would be nothing left to eat. it seems ironic that there are more rules surrounding obtaining a driver's license than a gun permit and more paperwork for registering a car than a gun.

and completely absurd that there is more support of keeping deadly guns in the hands of people than in ensuring that they have proper health insurance. a skewed set of priorities.

* * *

on a less serious note, how much do i love this?
read the follow-up post as well.

molly likes michelle

despite my distance from the US, i am keenly interested in the american election. i read extensively online and in our daily newspaper and we get the daily show with only one day's delay. i'll admit my viewpoint is filtered through the brilliance of jon stewart and his team. but that's mostly because it fits my political leanings anyway. liberal political leanings which have only been strengthened by 14 years of living in europe.

i have closely followed both last week's republican convention and this week's democratic one. it strikes me that there is a marked difference. last week's felt far more mean-spirited, but i will admit that the democrats have a hard time overcoming the bleak economic picture. it has been a hard slog, overcoming the mess that obama was handed by the dangerous war-mongering buffoonery of the bush administration (which people seem to forget), and admittedly, things aren't there yet.

molly and i watched both michelle obama's speech and bill clinton's speech in their entirety today. molly really liked michelle. and so did i. i found what she had to say beyond reproach and have been pleasantly surprised to see that there has been little criticism of her (at least from what i could find online). bill showed, once again, his particular brand of authentic charisma. he really is something. i loved the shots of chelsea sitting next to steve jobs' widow (interesting to see what that was about), looking proudly on at her father. he struck the right notes - he was honest, but real and convincing. and who else could make you listen, riveted, as he talked about medicare block grants? seriously, that man is a gifted speaker.

but honestly, i worry about the political rhetoric in the US. it seems so filled with hate these days. so polarized and extreme. things that don't seem like they are relevant issues - rape, abortion, gay marriage - to whether a person is qualified to be the president take up the forefront. my impression is that the democrats are at least trying to talk about the economy and the future in a more hopeful way, rather than spending time on lies (see Paul Ryan's speech), misrepresentations (again, Paul Ryan) and issues (see that asshole from Missouri) that are irrelevant.

but i think what's contributing to making this election seem like the worst, most vitriolic one ever is actually facebook. i'm simply astounded at some of my facebook friends. i mean, i knew a few of them watched fox news, but i wasn't clear on how much they believed it and how filled with hate they seem to be. and i simply don't understand it. how one can be in a same-sex relationship and work for the government and still be rabidly against the democratic platform i am at a loss to understand. and don't even get me started on those who simply cannot possibly afford to be republicans...

but bill's speech put the thoughts i was beginning to have about changing my passport (for all of my complaints about denmark, at least i don't ever feel i have to be ashamed of it and i've felt ashamed of america on more than one occasion recently as i watched or read the news (or the olympic coverage)) out of my head for now. but time will tell, i guess. and in the meantime, all i can do is vote (as many times as i can - that being the advantage of being registered to vote in chicago). 

i hope you will too. and when you do, i hope it will be for the good guys. because they're not yet done cleaning up the mess bush left.

minnesota nice or things i like about the states

i had no idea that my promise to share a list of good things about the US would cause such a fit of writer's block.  i've found myself sitting at the computer, blogger compose window open, daily for a week and nothing comes out.  in some sense, it's not fair, because there are good things about the US and it's not really for a lack of those. maybe it's just easier (and more amusing) to write about the negatives or the puzzling things (tho' frankly the positives can at times be equally puzzling). but here goes...

things that are great about the states:

~ target. i've had serious withdrawals from the bountiful variety at fair prices and which also gives back to their communities and isn't evil and contains a starbucks as you come in wonder that is a target store. tho' i wasn't that keen on what was apparently their $200 rule - as in, you can't leave without spending at least $200. the trick was to avoid spending the lot of it on nail polish alone. we didn't always succeed.

~ minnesota nice. i learned this term from my friend lisa. it describes those pleasant little conversations that you have with clerks in stores...whether it's about the odd-looking handful of coins you're pawing through to find some quarters or about how you're turning down their store credit card because they don't have any stores near where you live or about what exactly you're going to do with that quinoa or where you got those fabulous sequined uggs. it's a positive interchange and gives such a boost of energy in your day. of course, it's maybe not fair to credit it entirely to minnesota (tho' it IS a marked phenomenon there, even in the big city of minneapolis), as my sister and i had one of those uplifting experiences in our local grocery store right in our hometown in south dakota.

it was the day molly got her shots and her rather brutal ear mite treatment. her vet appointment was at 1:30 and i thought it would take like 15 minutes tops, so everyone was waiting for me to return with her so we could go swimming at the river (sans cat, of course). the appointment took much longer thanks to the ear mites, so by the time i got home, the three children were melting (literally, as it was 107°F/42°C) and whining like crazy. we stopped by the grocery store for snacks (and crisp, refreshing american light beer) and the sweet young girl at the cash register said, "how are you guys doing?" in her best local accent (think the coen brothers film fargo). we responded that no one was whining, no one was complaining, no one has asked 56 times whether we were going to the river and no one had begged for any junk food or candy. and in the process, those things started to be true...and we started to laugh and our stress melted away. all because the girl at the cash register acknowledged us with a greeting.

let me tell you, the danes could learn something from this.

i was talking to a canadian friend (who also lives in denmark) about this the other day. she's a sociologist, so she's thought about it a bit more than i had (hard to believe, i know). i said that i missed those light-hearted, surface conversations with clerks or others in line at the store and told her how much i'd appreciated them while we were in the US. she said she thought they were actually deeper than they appear at first. that when the young very pierced and tattooed clerk in the gas station's eyes light up when he sees your funny coin with the hole in the center and hearts around the edge and begins to tell you about foreign coins in his collection, he's revealing something more about himself...dreams of travel to far-away places perhaps, or a hint at the desire that despite having had ALL of his front teeth sharpened into vampire-like points, he wants something more from life.

which brings me to the next good thing...

~ believing something more is possible. i know that the american dream has come to be a bit ridiculed around the world in the face of financial crisis and political buffoonery. but that pie-in-the-sky belief that if you just try hard enough, you'll succeed and get what you want remains strong in americans. but isn't there something charming about it as well? and something optimistic and hopeful? i think (especially in the upper midwest) there are still a lot of people who believe that if they work hard enough, they can change their lives for the better. not everyone thinks they can take the reality t.v. shortcut to success (tho' it may seem like that sometimes).

however, the american dream is a double-edged sword and has resulted in the bewildering acceptance by the poorest for the concentration of wealth being in the hands of the few, some of whom apparently would like to be president (just not the ones one wishes would (say that three times fast)). it's because everyone has a core of belief inside them that they could make it too and once they're also there, they surely don't want to have to pay a bunch of taxes.

but i've digressed.

~ diversity. the states is BIG. there's a lot of space. and it means that everyone, no matter how wacky their idea, probably can have a little plot of land or a building or a place where they can have a chance to try it out. the mormons have utah. homosexuals and hippies have san francisco. wackos have LA. hutterites have their colonies in south dakota. amish in iowa (and moving into south dakota). there are organic farmers and big-scale farmers. there are snotty, organic grocery stores and there are everyday normal ones. there really is something for everyone. and people come in all colors, shapes and sizes. and it seems there's room for that.

whenever i come back home to denmark after being in the states, i'm struck by how much the same everyone is. the clothing choices, the food choices, the cars, the haircuts, the shoes. it's like there's a danish uniform (and sub-uniforms within categories - nurses, schoolteachers, business people, etc.). of course, it's a bit similar to that in south dakota, where i grew up, but it feels like there's more space (and there literally is) to unfold yourself and be a little different.

so there you have it. and i even went a little deeper than i did with the more negative list. and got past that spot of writer's block.

and i do so love those american clouds.

let them drink bacon vodka or observations on the current state of america

just a few observations from our time in the states. it's funny how time away makes what was once familiar seem strange, tho' i simply don't recall some of this stuff, so maybe it's new in the past decade or so...

~ there's a real obsession with anti-bacterial hand cleaners. in bathrooms, in the cleaning product aisle, on the dish soap, little purse-size bottles. apparently americans are really, really scared of bacteria. and i wonder if it's not contributing to illness and allergies.

~ there's a lot of fake stuff - especially fake sweeteners and fake creamers. i just wanted some ordinary half & half in my coffee and that was a rare commodity in many convenience stores, tho' 5 sweetened, artificial flavors of carnation wanna-be cream(er) were on offer.

~ waitresses introduce themselves, "hi, i'm shelly, i'll be your server." do i really need this information? do people actually take note of it and remember their server's name?

~ the lighting is really, really depressing in shopko, k-mart and even macy's. what's the purpose of that? wouldn't good lighting move more merchandise? how can these stores be so off on this important detail?

~ walmart's new logo doesn't hide that they're still pure evil.

~ enormous, chernobyl (as in possibly irradiated), giant fruit and vegetables - peaches bigger than a softball, same with plums and the leeks, as big around as my calves, i tell you. we also had a 50 pound watermelon. talk about having to pee after that...

~ only in the states could you overhear a casual conversation at the airport between two waiting passengers on the merits of the M16 vs. the M4.

~ struck by how people who have BEEN there, still pronounce iraq "eye-rack."

~ a shocking lack of recycling. i had a little shudder of horror every time i saw a bottle or can in the ordinary garbage can.  this is part of why the US is consuming far more than its share of resources.

~ vodka that comes in bacon, marshmallow, cake or cookie dough flavors. i can see these are produced in france, but still, they apparently know what the american market craves.

~ direct marketing (long ads on television and in magazines) of prescription meds. man, that must drive doctors nuts.

~ no television show can be watched or enjoyed with any sense of continuity because it's constantly broken up with ads. i remember when i first came to denmark, it was agony for me to watch an whole episode of the x-files without commercial break, because i was so accustomed to the release of tension the commercials brought with them. now, i can hardly stand to watch television in the states. and don't even get me started on the shameful coverage of the olympics by nbc, i'm still not over that.

~ automatic-flush toilets. these possibly symbolize everything that's currently wrong with america, not to mention scaring the living daylights out of the user. apparently people cannot even be trusted to flush the toilet on their own these days.

~ interesting how with two acts of terrorism committed while i was there - one in a crowded movie theatre in colorado and one at a sikh temple in wisconsin - that i never heard them referred to as terrorism. it seems that word is now reserved only for acts committed by muslim extremists. if you ask me, both of those maniacs were also terrorists. 

~ car design has truly gone awry. i talked about this a little bit after my visit two years ago, but it's only gone downhill. even old design stalwarts like mercedes have given up and started making what appears to be a chevy impala with a mercedes logo. it's sad, really.

lest you think i only observed the negatives, i'll be back soon with a list of positives. because there are also good things about the land of my birth. you just have to look for them a little harder.

aggressive christianity

being in the states for a few weeks, i was struck by the visible increase in christian fundamentalism all around in the upper midwest. there have always been a few anti-choice signs here and there, and my hometown of 1300 has 12 churches, but there are more and more aggressive bible verses lining the highways and byways and christianity just seems to be much more in your face.

but i found this nail-studded cross west of the town where i grew up most disturbing. apparently, with 12 churches in a town of 1300, the youth groups have banded together into one and they erected this cross on the edge of a cornfield west of town. the large, rusty nails represent the sins of the young people in town.

and it strikes me as extremely violent and aggressive. and i wonder how a bunch of kids in small town south dakota can possibly have so many sins. what on earth are they? sex? drinking? playing hooky from school, the odd joint? hello, these are normal teenage issues - not giant nails on a cross. and to display them in such a harsh way, what good can that possibly do?

i'm more than a little worried about the aggressive tone christianity has taken on in the US in the years of my chosen exile. it seems to me not all that different from the sort of fundamentalist leaning of which all of islam is accused because a few choose to be extreme. when extremism comes to a small town in south dakota, what do we have left?

for more on this, read what frank bruni says about michele bachman and her ilk of the religious right here.

olives may contain pits

when i realized this afternoon that there was a delay in the broadcast of the opening ceremonies of the london olympics, it royally pissed me off. it strikes me as yet another symptom of a society far too focused on the wrong things. a late afternoon live broadcast didn't fit with the needs of the network to capture those advertising dollars, so they delayed it by several hours and completely destroyed the continuity by breaking for ads every 5 minutes. and the play-by-play by the anchors - simplistic, insufficiently-researched and well, moronic. and of course, the first 5 minutes had to be spent speculating as to possible terrorism. shameful.

what has happened to this country?  signs in the grocery store, warning that olives have pits. do people really not know this? are we so far from where our food comes from? i do realize that it's also lawsuit avoidance, but shouldn't we also be worried that it's come to that?

i've been here a week and a half and i'm dumbfounded. i can't stand to watch a news broadcast - they're over-dramatic and under-informed and carry little or no news. the speculations as to the motives of the madman killer in colorado have oddly become "the truth" about him, tho' he hasn't said a word. ordinary people quote glen beck and bill o'reilly and fox "news" as if they tell the truth about everything from school testing to gun control and health care. there's no critical thinking in evidence, apparently no one reasons for themselves (at least not out loud) and worst of all, there's no outrage over this.

where is the outrage?

well, i'm outraged, but at least i get to leave again. and leave again i will. tho' i will express my outrage with my vote in november. it's the least i can do.

we won't solve the world's problems on a monday morning

the longer i live outside the country of my birth, the less american i get. it stands to reason. we are most affected by the environment in which we find ourselves. for me, this means that i have become more egalitarian (what? a differentiation in the car taxes by area (200% instead of 150%) to help with traffic congestion in cities? no way, car taxes must be the same for all), i have better taste, i am less likely to talk to strangers or say "excuse me," and i think that famous people should be allowed to get on with living their lives unmolested (winona, you did NOT just take a hit on that 17 when the dealer has a 6 up).

generally, i trust the integrity of the media where i live, find the healthcare system to be modern and accessible (even if they're not the most service-minded folks ever), and while politicians are a bit idealess, they're generally not corrupt (i mean, what's a little fudging your taxes among friends).  all of this contributes to my today having generally logically-reasoned, balanced, non-conspiracy theoretical opinions about the events of the world. and for that i blame credit denmark (and husband, all those holes he digs aside, that boy is good for me).

so it's quite interesting to encounter someone who makes wild leaps of reason in the course of an otherwise quite normal and reasonable discussion. for example, that michelle obama hates america. this reasoned from a comment that she made about having never been more proud of america before whatever day she made the speech. conclusion: since she'd never been proud of america before, she must hate it. really? i don't know the context of her comment (and neither did the person making the conclusion), but it seems pretty innocuous to me. and context would seem to be completely necessary to drawing any untoward conclusions. but my impression of clips i see of current american media is that context is irrelevant. and the person making this statement (possibly parroted from something former miss america (obviously makes her an authority on the level of affection for america) gretchen carlson said on fox "news") didn't question that at all. he had just ingested and then passed along the venom.

i really don't understand the venom towards obama. while i grant that he has not lived up to the promise and hope i felt in november 2008 as i bought a huge ring to commemorate his election and for the first time in 8 years didn't conceal my passport in line as i went through passport control, he has done what he can. i simply can't fathom why, when millions and millions have no health insurance anyone would be against obamacare. i'm still reeling a little a bit from a bloggy friend who asked me if it wasn't just horrible for the poor insurance companies? really? you can't be serious.

it strikes me that people's memories are short - does no one recall the mess he was handed by bush, an illegitimate president, bent only on being elected to get the approval of his father? when bush took office, there was a budget surplus.  after two wars that have accomplished little as far as i can see there is now billions in crippling deficits. bush's cronies dismantled the last of the regulation keeping the financial sector in check and i think it's quite obvious to everyone that's been a disaster of global proportions. these are the things that obama was handed to deal with. and no mere mortal could solve these problems overnight.

it's problematic in general that the people who might be the very best for a job like president of the united states or even prime minister of denmark aren't the ones running. it's problematic that we seldom have access to the real person behind the power - they are so spun and fluffed and polished that i don't think we have any idea who they really are and what they stand for, other than remaining in power. but, we've got to keep cool heads and draw logical conclusions and then vote accordingly. michelle obama doesn't hate america. to say so is ludicrous.  and makes me a little bit more inclined to start hiding my passport again when i'm in line for passport control.

in which she ponders the waning years of the american empire

i've been pondering this post for awhile. and although gwen recently wrote it far better than i can, i still have to weigh in...you see, when i visited the land of my birth this summer, after 3+ years away, i was a little shocked at the state of things.

i had expected to see signs of a depressed economy and they were there in the little things...more weeds in the cracks on the roads, flaking paint on the light poles, a general sort of lack of road maintenance. but they weren't there in ways i expected them to be. everyone (in the upper midwest, at least) is still driving around in the most ginormous, ugly, ungainly and badly-designed vehicles i've had the misfortune to see in, well, about three and a half years. when i saw the dodges on the road, i tell you, i understood why the company was in trouble (but i wondered why anyone bothered to bail them out, since they clearly had made such bad business/design decisions that they deserved to go under). i know i've said this before, but the vehicles seriously look like tanks thinly disguised as cars. who needs a vehicle that large and bulky? and who can afford to keep them filled with gas, as they must get absolutely rubbish mileage?  so clearly the crisis hasn't been bad enough to drive anyone to consider downsizing to a more gas-economical vehicle.

and on the subject of cars, one of my facebook friends was recently lamenting how sad it was to own two cars and have both of them in the shop. i commented that she could have stopped after the first part of the sentence - as it strikes me as quite sad to be one person, living alone, and have two cars. while i appreciate that a single person cannot drive both of the cars at once, it is still a monumentally arrogant act to think that you are entitled to two cars. what if everyone in india and china felt that way too?

case in point

at the first snack village (my nephew's name for those gas stations with a mini(?) market) we stopped in i was a little taken aback that there was an entire wall filled with your basic jesus-related t-shirts. and just when i had filled my 42 oz. beverage (i wanted a small one, you see) and recovered my shock at the jesus shirts, i wandered into the pop tart aisle. seriously, like 10 feet of a shelf  devoted entirely to pop tarts, swathed in brightly-colored packaging. which brings me to the next shocking thing. people had noticeably gained weight since i was last in the country.  like more than just a few pounds. of course i'm not a twig myself, so i don't mean to point fingers, but this was bad.

and it leads me back to the pop tarts and to all of that packaged, processed food in general, which i'm sure is directly responsible for people looking the way they do. it's so unhealthy. and good odin, the bread, don't even get me started on the bread - husband's eye actually twitched on one occasion while eating a slice of it. the sorriest excuse for bread in the world, in fact, it should be labeled like the cheese is in the US - as a processed, pasteurized bread product and not actual bread. and although i know that most of my readers (at least until after this post) are US-based and most of you are concerned about buying fresh, local produce if you possibly can, it's obvious that the vast majority of people haven't caught onto that. at all. and it's really worrying (unless of course you are a drug company that makes insulin or own quite a lot of stock in one #silver lining). no wonder the US has health care-related issues.

it amazed me how little the whole locovore concept has reached the area where i grew up - which is kind of ironic in that it's agricultural country. i had a conversation with my mother, where she was cussing out the locally-produced eggs available in the grocery store, as although they said "large," they weren't large at all in her eyes. she came home triumphant one day, happy that the store had gotten some imported-across-several-states "jumbo" eggs instead of those dreaded local ones. i asked her if she thought about food miles on those eggs and she looked at me blankly. which is weird because she is otherwise quite a fan of barbara kingsolver.

another worrying trend was the amount of religious fundamentalist billboards. so many that it actually began to seem menacing. somewhere south of sioux city, iowa on I-29, husband and i looked uneasily at one another as we passed a stark white billboard with somber black text reading, "are you ready to meet your god?" there was an exit coming up and we glanced at the children in the backseat, wondering if we'd have to somehow defend them from snipers, the billboard seemed so threatening.

now, having grown up in a town with 12 churches, i knew that there was a religiosity in the US, so i'm not saying that it's new, but it struck me that it's become so much more aggressive. it used to be ok to just quietly be your religion, but now it seems that you must display your christianity (because that seemed also to be the only option) much more visibly. of course, i also realize that freedom of religion is one of the basic tenets of what it means to be american. however, i'm not longer sure it would be ok to be a religion other than evangelical christian. not if you judge by the roadside advertising and the lit-up ticker-style signs on all the churches in every little town in the upper midwest. it's undoubtedly different on the coasts and in larger cities, but this is the heartland. and it's worth taking the pulse there to see what's really happening.

but perhaps the most shocking experience of all was listening to the "news." for one, there's scarcely any news it in anymore...just a poorly-argued string of predictions as to the demise of this or that politician or hollywood star. it seemed that there's no reporting on what actually happened or real analysis of it, but just a lot of shouting by heavily-made up, coiffed people who may at one time have been involved with the miss america pageant. at least in south dakota, on the local news they still talk about the weather, but even that is a bunch of more or less wild predictions. 

it seems to me that americans are expending an awful lot of energy and resources protecting themselves from "enemies" - behind strident religious slogans, in shouting news-free opinion casts, in tank-like vehicles and underneath layers of fat. and i find it really worrying. and sad. and wonder if it doesn't look an awful lot like the waning years of the holy roman empire, only with evangelical preachers, fox news and reality television.

letter from home or just another random list to clear my brain

stepping in and taking a look around, brushing a few cobwebs out of the corners, killing some flies...and i'm back! we had a wonderful vacation and it was great seeing friends and family and horses and kitties and antiquing and taking 2,795 photographs (not including film), but i'm glad to be home. we came home to a sold house (as you undoubtedly gathered from the goodbye poppelvej post) and are very soon the official owners of one that needs to be torn down. the wheels are in motion on that front as well (turns out it IS possible to rent a bulldozer).

i realized today when i was feeling irritable and rather restless, that it was because i haven't been writing. writing is how i process all the stuff that's going on and when i don't get it out, i become a bearcat (in the words of my father). i tell you, blogging is cheaper than therapy. so in the interest of getting it all out, i give you a few things i learned while i was in the US the past two weeks...

~ it's not possible to wear a multi-strength contact in one eye and a regular one in the other. not if you want to see. or stand upright without nausea.

~ an 8MB memory card holds 1257 photos (using a nikon D300 and taking jpegs at full resolution). that's not enough.

~ the best place to look for treasures is amongst your own stuff.

~ the best way to learn how water and wind behave when they're together is to be on the river.

~ antique prices are totally arbitrary.

~ it is impossible to get normal, real milk for your coffee in an american snack village (my nephew's name for those big roadside gas stations full of snacks and praise jesus shirts). you can only get 14 different flavors of sweetened fake creamer or half and half that comes in little plastic thingies that don't need to be refrigerated.

~ there are no hot beverages smaller than 16 oz. in an american snack village.

~ there are no cold beverages smaller than 40 oz. in an american snack village.

~ if you drink said large beverages, you will need to stop at the next snack village to use the bathroom.

~ cherry is the flavor of choice in the US. and cinnamon. and they are the same color of red.

~ it's no wonder chrysler was doing badly, they're making tanks (badly) disguised as cars.

~ it's time to reread the brothers karamazov.

~ even if actually holding the iPhone 4 to speak in it renders it useless, i will still buy one the second they release them in denmark (by which time they've hopefully fixed that little problem, tho' honestly, i'm willing to learn to hold it with my left hand).

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this weekend, i'm off to a horse show in germany with a friend. i can't wait to see how horse shows are done on this side of the atlantic. wishing you all a lovely weekend!