those weird feelings you can't put your finger on...

i have the weirdest feeling when i go to our creative group's atelier up on the top floor of our local library. something about being there just makes me feel prickly, negative and a little defensive. i think it's been going on for awhile, but i only just was able to put my finger on the feeling last evening. i don't know why, but knowing that is a step towards figuring that out. 

i can feel that i put up a wall around myself. and that the wall actually prevents me from being present and open. it's like it appears without my knowledge and i find myself behind it, feeling a bit negative and out of sorts. 

or maybe it's just that i'm sensitive to negative energy. and there's loads of negativity there. i'm not sure that i've always felt it. at the beginning of the pandemic, i spent a lot of time there, as the library has a good internet connection and ours at home was iffy at best. so i worked there many days during the time we had to work from home. maybe that's it. some kind of corona-induced anxiety kicks in when i'm there. but why would that make me defensive and negative? 

it's also the scene where someone questioned how i was raised because i had wanted to send flowers from our group to the funeral of our group's founder's father. the other members of the board were against that idea, by the way. i'm still wondering how on earth that makes me the one who is badly raised. but i live outside my own culture, so perhaps it's just one of those things that's impossible for me to understand. but perhaps i associate it with the place. 

but how do i shake it off? i can feel that it prevents me from enjoying getting together with women i genuinely like in a place that's made for creativity. do i need to burn some sage up there? exorcise the demons? how do i get rid of this feeling so that i can enjoy being there again and be present for the people who i like being with? 

i don't mean to imply that i don't take responsibility for this feeling in myself. i just don't know the source of it, nor how to get rid of it. 

a magical ceramics atelier

i visited a magical ceramics atelier out in the countryside today. it's the kind of place you imagine exists, but you don't really fully believe it - oozing with atmosphere and humming with creativity.

danish ceramics artist nina lund and her french husband, also a ceramics artist, jean-francois thierion, own a former insulin factory in the danish countryside. it's both home and atelier and shop for them. it has the feel of an old dairy with big windows and white subway tiles. it has the most amazing atmosphere.

they have a couple of very large kilns and the front window (which i apparently failed to photograph) is where they sit and spin the potters' wheels. i actually completely neglected to take my proper camera with me and only had my old iPhone 4S along, so these photos are all from that. i guess it just means that i have to go back.

these are some of jean-francois' gorgeous vases. they're very large and the kind of thing you see in the lobby of a big company or bank, so i didn't even dare to ask how much they cost.

the same with his big platters - what i wouldn't give for one of those - imagine how many strawberries i could put in there!

nina was working in the studio, but took a few minutes to talk to us as we looked around the shop area upstairs. she told us this stool is a first attempt at making stools and talked about the tweaks she'll make in the next round. it was really beautiful, but i didn't try sitting on it.

i couldn't resist a few of her unique candleholders. i'll definitely be headed out there the next time i have to buy a gift for someone - so much better to give a unique, beautiful handmade gift from the local area, don't you think?

i bought the one with the yellow flowers in it and i was tempted by the little yellow dotty one you you can see in the foreground on the right. i may have to go back for that one. i suspect they are the kind of thing that one could begin to collect and amass quite a nice collection of them.

another shot of jean-francois' vases. we didn't meet him while we were there, but i'd love to see him working as well. i definitely have to go back with my proper camera.

here are some of nina's larger works - intricate candleholders and large vases. it's so wonderful to visit a place where artists are at work and clearly able to make a living from their creativity. at the same time, tho', it made me feel a bit like i've obviously not done enough with my life or believed enough in my creative abilities. but there is hope that it's possible.

i like nina's more practical pieces as well - like these little oil/vinegar bottles. so cute and cheery. you couldn't help but smile while you're making dinner if these were sitting on your stove.