recovering (and grateful)

i am ever, ever, ever so grateful to good, creative friends who make me laugh and who let me vent and swear and then make me laugh some more. and who pour me a glass of wine when it's needed. and sometimes even when it's not. i am grateful for these days where i have time to devote to the last details for making our local creative workshop/library/culture house awesome. i am grateful to super creative people to collaborate with - like the person who made this dinosaur on which i was allowed to paint the final details. i am grateful to people who are large in the face of smallness. it makes the smallness matter so much less. and i am grateful for husband and how he helps me stay on an even keel. and i am grateful that my new job is just around the corner. and i am grateful for glorious autumn days and even those that are a bit blustery. and for purring lap cats and brand new kittens. and for the pear tree and the last of the tomatoes. for molly (the cat and my cat love friend in cape town). and for not being in a holding pattern anymore. and for proper mexican food and especially tortillas coming to denmark at last. and chairs that are not boring. and nordic light. and men who do dishes. and for being seen for who i am and what i have to offer. for the way that wounds heal. for doors closing and other ones opening. for husband. and sabin. and the security of home and belonging that enables me to fly. and new clothes. and good friends. so much to be grateful for, life feels like it's overflowing. and it's about time.

the color sneaks back into my world

i suppose it's just these sunny, summer days we've been treated to, but it feels somehow like color is returning to my world. it's been a tough time recently with molly's mastitis, our chickens disappearing (it turns out it wasn't a fox, they were stolen!), my borrelia diagnosis and then losing frankie. a lot of things happening in quick succession that have sapped my energy and robbed me of my inspiration and, you probably noticed, my words.

despite losing frankie on monday, it was on the whole a good week. i took the last of my antibiotics and i feel myself returning to more or less feeling normal health-wise, tho' i do occasionally run a low-grade fever for most of a day (i hope that stops now), which zaps my energy again. but spending time with sabin in the sunshine, doing creative projects helped greatly.

it's hard to be down in the dumps when your old favorite converse have been turned into bright, cheery rainbows.

the garden, especially the fruit bushes and those strawberries, are in full swing and picking and processing all that fruit makes me feel industrious and satisfied. i know how much we'll enjoy the fruits of all my labors come autumn and winter. that has raised my spirits as well.

the perfect afternoon i spent painting in the garden with sabin on friday also went a long way towards reawakening what has been a dormant sense of creativity. i have a tendency to go through a low-level depression at times without even really realizing it myself, except in odd ways (i think the bits of blue in my hair were an attempt to pull myself out of it that i wasn't even really aware of on a conscious level). it's only when it begins to lift that i realize it was there.

but it is beginning to lift. like a fog clearing away. one that i had become so accustomed to, that i wasn't even really aware of it myself. it likely started with our prolonged winter and ever-protracted spring. then molly got sick and i spent a couple of weeks of sleepless nights, worrying over and feeding kittens in the night. i've also been reading some douglas kennedy novels, which are wonderful, but full of tragic stories that feel like they're happening to friends of mine, so well-drawn are the characters. and i realize now that it has all fed an underlying feeling of blue (and not the good blue room kind).

but today, as i pulled fabric for several baby quilts (suddenly, my friends are all having babies), it hit me that the blue of my world was turning more colorful once again. and it seems at least some of my words have returned. molly is well (and begging to go outside to rendezvous with the papa kitty again (don't worry, she's not allowed)) and the kittens are at at the very height of playful perfection and tho' i miss frankie very much, i now get to keep little frieda, my kitten who smiles in her sleep.

it also helps that dinner came from the garden - fresh kale, shallots and new potatoes. there is little that feels more satisfying than that, unless it's a kitten who smiles in her sleep.

here's hoping that summer is treating you all very well.

and the sun breaks through

it's been a stormy week weatherwise and although i often feel that the weather reflects my mood and pause to wonder if i'm causing it, this week that hasn't been the case. i have definitely felt the sun breaking through a cloud that's hung over my head for the better part of the past few months. one that i strangely didn't really realize was there until it dissipated. how is it that we're so inside of ourselves that we can't see what's really going on?

i feel so happy that the mild depression i've apparently been in is lifting. and it's lifting just in time for blog camp berlin. and i feel truly excited and happy to be leaving tomorrow morning on the train. i've got energy again and am ready for loads of laughter and talking and catching up and getting to know a couple of new people in person. tho' thanks to the blogosphere, they already all feel like old friends.

i don't know what adventures lie ahead the next few days, but i'm looking very much forward to them, whatever they are...

happy weekend one and all...may the sun break through wherever you are.

grateful tuesday: because it's been awhile

it's been far too long since i did any posts about gratefulness. a mild depression over huge change and upheaval (even if self-chosen) in our lives surely intervened - changing home, part of the country and work all at the same time is stressful, even if it's what you want. but i feel it lifting. and even tho' the kitchen i have to live with for the time being (flaky (if adorable) architects and building permits take time) continues to depress me (and cause my continuing absence from domestic sensualist), i am coming up for air. i can feel it. interestingly, what's triggered it today is sabin's morning fever, which caused me to stay at home with her today. waiting on her, running to the store for the cottage cheese she was craving, drinking tea together and watching an entire afternoon of BBC Lifestyle programming gave me a sense of well-being that i could scarcely remember. (note to self: remember this.) and all of that has filled me with a desire to express gratefulness...

i'm grateful to lisa of lil fish studios for our recent swap. i sent one of my painted feather stones and she sent me this gorgeous feather stone of her own. very different from mine, yet a sister of it somehow. and an immediate treasured possession. and i'm ever grateful to trinsch for getting me started on the feather stone thing in the first place.

i'm grateful for being published - in an art book by hong kong-based artpower publishers (and i'm grateful that it finally arrived today) and even more grateful for the amusing asian translated subtitle of the book (because who doesn't love different color shades that serve as prevalent colors on the sock). but on the inside is a whole beautiful 8-page spread of my photos of my beloved blue room (along with a whole lot of other inspiring artists that i will share soon). and that just makes me smile.

i'm grateful for the creativity of my child. she creatively wrapped up the blog camp berlin presents today. and yes, i'm also grateful for the upcoming blog camp berlin.  the kid learned how to make these pretty boxes at school (thus i'm also grateful for the danish school system) and taught me how to make some today as well. and even if i do say so myself, i'm pretty pleased with what's inside.

and thank odin for that vintage scale, which seems to be where i take all of my photos of late.

latte. i'm pretty grateful for latte. and when it's accompanied by a tall hyldeblomst (elderflower) beverage and enjoyed in the sunshine at a gorgeous marina, all the better.

but today, i'm most grateful for an encounter i had with the folks at the apple help line. back in february, through the apple.dk website, i ordered one of those big, giant 1TB My Book Studio external hard drives made by western digital. i was in terror of losing my 50-some thousand photos after spilling water in my MBP and having issues with my iMac (now solved, thankfully). i got it and hooked it up, but never really got it properly set up because it kept giving me a strange message that it was going to shut down because it was too hot after i had it on for about five minutes. i never did anything about it at the time because of the chaos of our move, but today, i finally called about it to see if there was anything that could be done. and would you believe that without argument or questions into whether i'd dropped it into the bathtub (for the record, i did not), they said they would send a new one out to me by courier immediately and collect the faulty one? so tomorrow, i will have a new 1TB WD My Book Studio external hard drive. now that's service. and a big part of why i love apple.

what are you grateful for today?