not a creature was stirring...

the tree is up. there's not snow and it's unseasonably warm, but we're ready for christmas. i only did one last minute panic online buy, which is pretty good for me. and then i also texted the child and told her to buy those adidas she wanted in berlin as one of her presents, because there's always something at the last minute. and then we were sure they'd fit. but other than that, i'm good with how it looks under the tree. not too excessive, but also pretty good.

i've been making opera fudge ala martha stewart, my beloved russian teacakes and looking up whiskey cocktails. tomorrow, we head for husband's sister's house, with a giant pork roast in hand. it's one of the last few precious ones from bacon & bacon. alas, even after 16 years, they still think christmas is on christmas eve in denmark (it's not), but i've learned to lived without oyster stew and deal with the pork- and duck-intensive christmas meal. i've got a turkey brining for when we come home on the 25th (also known as actual christmas).

here's wishing you all a very merry christmas. catch you here for a year-end review soon...

perfect present

husband gave this present with trepidation, afraid that is a bit too much truth in it.

i personally think it's perfect.

but so is he.

so we'll keep him and the cat(s).

for now.

* * *

we had our quiet little family christmas today.

in my view, it was perfect.

family descends upon us tomorrow.

that will be perfect too,

just in another way.

* * *

this taking time out to celebrate and be together in the midst of the cold, dark winter is good, don't you think?

it's a balancing act

christmas. it's a balancing act, isn't it? meeting (or not) the expectations all around - for gifts, for visits, lengths of visits, the quality of the wine, the food, even the procedure around how the gifts are opened. what's strange is that we have all these expectations without really knowing or articulating them beforehand, yet we definitely know when they are disappointed.

we went to møn for christmas, to a house we've visited many times over the years. it's where i first experienced the danish way of entertaining - hours of good food, glasses of quality wine, some more food, a bit of snaps, maybe a game of cards, certainly a lot of laughter. so i think i was expecting that. instead, there was frozen bread, mackerel in tins, boxed wine, television on while the presents were opened, chain-smoking hosts in ill health and repeated, munchausen-tinged stories. a bit of a disappointment, really even if i didn't know what i had expected.

it left me feeling a bit sorrowful...for the passage of time, for how life moves on when special people are gone and it doesn't necessarily move on for the better. for how many utterly ordinary people there are out there in comparison to the numbers of special, unique people. and how they produce ordinary children themselves and how ordinariness is thus carried on and on. and people seemingly do not notice.

sorrowful to see someone going downhill after a hard-lived life of too much drink and too many cigarettes. and how it affects the health and the brain. stories repeated and exaggerated and inappropriate. a woven tapestry of truth, lies, imaginings and memories tinged with self-delusion and regret, peppered with a feeling of bitterness over growing irrelevance.

sorrowful (and a little bit relieved) that it was likely a first and last christmas ever for that particular constellation of people.

life is short. we have to choose things that give us joy and happiness rather than sorrow and disappointment. it pays to be happy. and you can choose it for yourself.

so this is christmas...

the best gift so far? loads of notes for future blog posts. there's something about trauma that inspires like nothing else. let's just say that thomas vinterberg's festen is quite demure and underplayed in comparison to the reality. more soon...

and merry christmas one and all! hug your families! enjoy them for all their eccentricities.

christmas angst

christmas angst. every year, i declare i won't have it and every year, i have it. of course, it's deserved to an extent - i still have a pile of presents for my parents sitting here on the sideboard, not sent. ditto my sister. i tell myself it makes it more exciting to get unexpected presents in january. or february. but i hope i won't wait that long. what is it with me and procrastination?

i found out this afternoon that we were expected already today at the more local family christmas to-do. i never knew that (husband made the arrangements and obviously didn't adequately communicate them). but because of cold weather and bunnies and kitties and chickens that need their water thawed twice a day, we had never planned to go already today - it's just too long to leave all the animals home alone. but i have to admit that now i'm very worried that they're thinking we're horrible not to be there. which may sound like i'm a little paranoid and over-reacting, but we are talking here about a person who didn't speak to us for a couple of years because of a misunderstanding over a handful of smoked shrimp, so you never know.

but we're as ready as we're going to be. presents and goodies are packed, as well as good humor. let's hope that's enough. and if not, it's only one day. but i do just once wish for a christmas free of anxiety.

christmas is here. sort of.

it bugs me a little bit that the danes celebrate christmas on what is arguably the day before christmas, but this year, i've decided to just go with it. the duck is in the oven and i'll be putting the veggies in to roast in an hour or so. the sun is shining, we went for a long walk, the gifts are wrapped and of a reasonable quantity. i have to say that everything is pretty much right with the world.

merry christmas, one and all. may it be perfect, whether you celebrate it on the right day or not.

colors of christmas

1. wee mushroom ornament, 2. [keep it simple] christmas, 3. vintage christmas, 4. My Vintage Ornaments Rock!!

merry christmas, one and all! wishing you all a colorful christmas.

ahh, christmas

the smells of a nigella-inspired dinner (duck AND a stuffed pork roast) wafting upstairs from the oven, harry connick christmas music playing on the stereo, a blissful hour and a half all to myself, while husband and sabin go pick up the big girls, a glass of homemade eggnog, and a bit of time to set the table, shower and take some photos of the ornaments. friends are coming for dinner, plus we have a really interesting couchsurfer staying with us - a bit of a wise man from the east, since he teaches at a university in singapore - the dinner conversation should be very interesting.  and on top of it all, sabin is feeling much better. it all adds up to a lovely christmas.

obligatory matrioshka ornament.

one of the original ornaments mom got me for my tree when i began to have my own tree.

mom got this one at the same time - back in 1989.

it's my very favorite ornament and always needs a place of honor.

since we've been mad for robots this year, this is our new ornament for 2009.

the birdie hides in close to the trunk and one of the purple star lights.

a purple pinecone. why not?

my oldest ornament - made by my grandmother.

i used to have a little mechanical turning device for this one

so it would go round and round on the tree.

came from mom back in 1989 together with the fish and the little bouquet.

and my table centerpiece. which i did all by myself instead of paying a small fortune.

#96 in the year of creativity.

and i've also decided that i love the purple.

i'm not getting rid of it. it all means too much.

and there's value in something you've built up over the years.

so here's wishing you all a wonderful christmas full of love and laughter, wherever you are!

i'm really glad i've had all of you in my life over the past year.

it is a seriously tall tree

she's a whole lot better. thank you all for asking!!

we live in denmark, what can we say?

we had to have lego.