recovery time

as i get older, it seems to take me more and more time to recover from the big events. back at the end of november, i gave my notice at my job after a tumultuous almost two years of working during a pandemic in a branch that experienced exponential growth because people were sitting at home, working and homeschooling from their kitchens and thinking, "damn, i need a new kitchen." that resulted in a lot of crazy mad ambitious projects that were legitimately "business critical," (though i hate buzzwords like that). 

it was fun and i had really great colleagues, but it was also really intense and hard and in the autumn, i fell prey to the thoughts that many people are having these days...is this really what i want to be doing? do i want to write about black friday deals and affordable prices for the rest of my career? i am approaching an age where i have to think about these things. because soon it will get more difficult for me to switch jobs. even though age is just a number. and with basically 0% unemployment (ok, it's 2.8%, but that might as well be 0%), things aren't that bad. yet. but still, it gave me pause. 

i'd been courted by a headhunter since the summer holiday and i'd turned them down once, but they approached me again in the autumn as fatigue set in. a very big project was dragging out, a boss that went down with stress, tried to come back, couldn't accept the changes that happened in his absence and then left, leaving that very big project in one giant mess and with no one at the helm, made me say yes the second time around. 

but before i said yes, i had a day with the new team, basically interviewing them. it's that kind of job market these days. and i really liked them and it felt like the right thing to do, so i said yes. but i agreed to give my old job an extra month (in denmark, you tend to give you notice at the end of one month and you finish at the end of the next one). i owed that to those good colleagues and we'd been through so much together. and i also felt that i'd poured so much work and caring (i always care too much a great deal) and thought and sweat and tears into the project, that i wanted to leave it at a milestone, rather than just leaving in the middle of everything.

and hit that milestone we did. confetti canons and all. and i felt grateful and privileged to have worked so hard with such a group of talented people. and although i've gone on to that new job with an undoubtedly talented new group of people, damn, i miss them. we went through the hellfire together. we laughed, we swore (some more than others...and by we i mean me), we inspired one another, we leaned on one another, on occasion we had a few too many drinks, we got mad, we yelled, some of us mansplained (you know who you are), then we made up and got over it and got to work again. and it was special and awesome and although i chose it myself, i'm sad it's over. and i miss them so much. 

and it all makes me realize that it's possible to be sad and happy at the same time. i'm excited about what's ahead and so happy to get to know a whole new group of colleagues, but the transition is hard. you don't just get over such an intense period of work in a day. and you have doubts and grief over losing the daily contact with those you shared it all with. guys, you will all have a very special place in my heart. and there will always be a g&t waiting for you if you drop by. but be sure you wear a t-rex or guy riding a chicken costume, because damned if you aren't going to end up on tiktok with me. that's the only way we're going to recover from this...as the danes say (and you're all danes), "you only have the fun you make yourself." i had a lot of fun with you and it was a privilege. thank you all. 

here's to brighter days ahead. 🥂✨ 

we will recover from this, it will just take a little time. so let's give ourselves that time. 

the beginner's mind

a recent episode of the ezra kline show was one of the best podcast episodes i've heard in a long time. he interviewed writer ruth ozeki. i wasn't familiar with her work before hearing the episode, but now i've ordered a couple of her books from the library. she's a zen buddhist priest as well as a novelist and i loved her views on writing and well, life in general. she talked about writing and meditation and the connection between the body and the mind and the body and writing. it's so good and so packed full of profound thoughts that i've actually listened to it twice.

she talked about the buddhist notion of having a beginner's mind. she said that the possibilities are endless when you have a beginner's mind, because you meet everything you encounter with curiosity and openness. i have a beginner's mind right now, as i start a new job. or at least i am trying very hard to do so. it's so hard to shut down the part of my mind that wants to assess and categorize everything and make judgements about it, before even knowing the story or even the outlines of it. but to do that shuts off so much potential...for other stories, for other points of view, for openness and curiosity. as ozeki said in the interview, not knowing is so intimate, it give us an intimacy to the world around us, because we're open to it and to experiencing it and can thereby be more IN it.

so i'm working hard to just be IN my beginner's mind. and taking long walks in the cold, crisp air, to at the same time be IN my not-so-beginner's body. and to breathe deeply and be open and start just experiencing without judgement. and to stop second-guessing myself. and to just experience the thrilling experience of learning new things and getting to know new people and seeing where it leads. 

i miss my good colleagues from my old job, but i genuinely don't think i made the wrong decision. it's possible to feel sad and to miss my friends and the level of comfort and camaraderie we had together, but to feel that i made the right decision. i can hold all these things in my mind and yes, in my body at once. because we humans are full of contradictions and there's room for them within us. the world isn't as black and white as we've tried to make it over the past couple of decades, it's full of shades of grey. and we should be more curious about our own minds and feelings, be better at sitting with them and experiencing them. it's not too late to have a beginner's mind. 

comfort baking and other effects of the coronavirus

these are very strange times. companies asking everyone to work at home, restaurants and bars closed, public gatherings limited, libraries and other "non-essential" public services closed as well, at least here in denmark. i laughed when i first heard the term "social distancing" last week, thinking that the danes had perfected that long ago, so it would be nothing new around here. but it's not really the time for ironic laughter. the fact is, we owe it to those in our society who are immune compromised or in a high risk category in relation to the virus because of their age, to stay home and not risk exposing them the virus, should we be walking around with it, not knowing we even have it because we are asymptomatic.

just a few weeks ago, i was thinking that life had to go on more or less normally because living in fear is no way to live. so we went to barcelona as planned months ago, to meet up with the child and have a holiday together. i think if we'd known then what we know now, we would have canceled the trip. that said, i'm very glad to have had the time together. i'm glad to have seen the salvador dali museum in figueres, la sagrada familia, park güell and other gaudi buildings around barcelona, the maritime museum and the picasso museum. i'm glad to have found a super cute local bar, cuba de janiero,  that became our nightly hangout. i'm glad we ate ramen twice and tried the patatas bravas in every tapas place we went to and discovered the coolest healthy breakfast place and explored all those thrift shops. i guess if i had it to do over again, i'd still go. i wouldn't trade that time with husband and sabin for anything. it fits my lifelong ethos of "what are you gonna remember?"

none of us seems to be getting sick, so perhaps we were even lucky (knock on wood). spain too is on lockdown now, with curfews and closed restaurants and bars. i don't think barcelona is hit that hard as of yet, it's madrid and the canary islands that are fighting the battle, so perhaps we just chose the right destination. but denmark's borders are more or less closed now too, so we are lucky we got home as well.

and in the middle of all of this, i started a new job. late last week, when i started, there were no restrictions and social distancing had just been coined as a phrase, so i went to the office as planned. we had a team breakfast so i could meet everyone and i got a bouquet of flowers, which is always the tradition in denmark. and then, on friday, the word came down that we should work at home from monday and for the foreseeable future. that was a little bit weird, to have been in the company for two days and not even have everyone's names straight and have to be on my own at home.

so, i began this post this morning, before my working-at-home day started, and now, i'm writing at the end of it. it absolutely flew by, filled with countless online meetings via skype and teams. i definitely did not have to worry that i wouldn't be included or have anything to do. i have been cast into the middle of a very exciting, business-critical project that's been put in motion due to the effect the coronavirus is having on trade. what a great way to jump into things with both feet and and not waste any time. i'm finding it very energizing and it's very encouraging to see how very skilled my new colleagues are at their jobs. i'm impressed and feel very much that i have landed in the right place, even though i'm not actually able to go there right now.

i've read that the coronavirus is having a big affect on CO2 levels and pollution in china and in italy, where things have been brought to a standstill. and i can see firsthand the affect its having on ways of doing business. i wonder if it's going to make us rethink the way we do all kinds of things? and i wonder if those new habits will stay with us - will we travel less? will we cook more at home? will we keep stockpiling toilet paper? will the danes continue to hoard yeast? will we continue to engage in comfort baking? so many questions. not the least of which is, how long is this going to go on?

* * *

tough times call for historical fiction, like daniel kehlmann's tyll. 

the view (of kittens) from sunday night

my new job is just great - friendly colleagues, a good atmosphere and exciting tasks - really it's everything i could ask for. but, is it terrible that what i miss most about being away from home during the week is the cats? especially these adorable kittens. i spent my whole morning with them. they will never be cuter than they are right now, so i'm trying to enjoy every second of it.

of course, i also miss husband, but him, i can talk to and i do, sometimes even more than once a day. usually, to try to make sure he listens to the podcast of the day's korte radioavis, which is radio's answer to the daily show - current events satire at its finest. we have to discuss it every day.

i've tried to make husband put the cats on, so we can chat, but it just doesn't work. even tho' scout is a talker and i'm sure he'd talk to me if husband would just put him on. meanwhile, the kittens are growing up so fast and i'm missing it. i wonder if someone is making a smart phone for pets?

one nice thing about being away is that mail accumulates and there were a couple of packages waiting for me - my latest cathy cullis brooch and the scarf i ordered from skinny la minx months and months ago. i wonder where it was hanging out all this time? if only packages could talk.

i don't yet have a laptop, but as soon as it arrives, i will do a proper catch-up here. but now, it's time to pack for the journey back to copenhagen early tomorrow morning (thank odin for the time change). it's so good to be over there again.

* * *

what is up with all of the talk of finding your passion today and what if it's crap?

* * *

south dakota is better than you think.

i feel a cold coming on

i know it's supposed to be throwback thursday, but i can't really go back any further than the weekend for a photo. it seems like it would take too much effort to dig out old photos and scan them this evening. i fear my tiredness is an impending cold. we've had gorgeous weather, the kind that lures you outside without a jacket for hours when it's just a little too nippy in the wind. it's not good if i'm getting sick, as i have big plans in london town this weekend. mostly work, but also a bit of fun.  and let's face it, even work is pretty fun.

tho' speaking of that, i realized this week that despite working in what is arguably one of the most creative companies on the planet, i have been feeling cramped by the way things are still outlook-ruled and powerpoint-driven. and i definitely feel those frames snuffing out my creativity and inspiration. but as soon as i clear out the snot forming in my head, i'm going to come up with a plan for resisting both. i suspect powerpoint will be easier to resist than the tyranny of outlook. any tips on this front are most welcome.

another reason for my absence this week has been that i'm reading scarlett thomas' popco, about a hip girl who works for a toy company. just imagine that storyline.

* * *

what do you think of the cool little fisheye lens i got for my iPhone?

isn't it fun?

on an even keel

i have had the best possible start to my new job. it's a great company. i'm surrounded by creative, motivated people and i have a great boss. there are moments of actual playing nearly every day. and i am surrounded by sources of inspiration. i have been given time and support to read and learn and absorb the information i need to be able to do my job. it is absolutely as you would hope your job would be in every way.

it makes me tired in a different way than i've been tired in a long time. and it also makes me awake and engaged in a way i hadn't been in a long time. the kind of projects i've worked on in recent years have been quite solitary. i find it both energizing and tiring to be around a lot of new people. trying to feel centered in the midst of these often conflicting feelings is an exercise in balance. and i'm not always equally good at it. today, i'm on a kind of high. awake and feeling like it will be hours before i sleep, just like my old patterns (i've been a night owl for some time). other days, i come home and want to go to sleep early because my brain is full and my instinct is to go to sleep and dream to process it all. the brain is wonderful that way. and this evening, it apparently thinks it's best that i stay up and write about it (my usual mode of processing). i've learned that i need to go with it, whichever mode my instincts choose, somehow they know best.

if we listen to ourselves, we do know, at our core, how to stay on an even keel. it's just a matter of tuning in.

hungary, you say? #tbt

she had no idea of the troubles that lay ahead.

you will be relieved to know that even when you have what is arguably the best job in the world, you can still have a bad day. that bad day will likely be brought on by computer issues, which nearly frustrated you to the point of tears. in fact, the tears were there in your eyes, unbidden, but you managed to realize how utterly ridiculous it was and fight them off. no inanimate object or ridiculous software setup should have the power to make you cry.

but it might have the power to make you be sort of absent from yourself. so absent that you forget your purse at the office and don't realize it until you're all the way home and going to the grocery store, which you then can't do since you don't have your purse. so you kind of stumble home and hope there's enough in the fridge to come up with something for dinner (there is).

and then you go out to feed the animals and find that talking to the cats and searching for the latest place the hens are hiding their eggs and measuring out grain and carrying buckets of water and the smell of hay and the crunch of contented horses eating their dinner will actually go a long ways towards making it all better. because tomorrow is another day and your purse will still be there when you arrive at the office. and even tho' your computer isn't talking to SAP (who can really blame it), it will still be a mac and it will eventually all get sorted out.

and you take a deep breath and have a glass of wine (despite your best intentions) and you realize that life is pretty good anyway. even when the help desk is in hungary.

* * *

in the midst of a bad day,

a project like this collaboration between olafur elliason and ai weiwei (and the world)

will give you hope.

signs

signs the world has gone mad:

1. iPhones containing flappy bird going for obscene amounts on eBay.

signs you have the best job ever:

1.

 

2.

 

3.

 

signs you are drinking too much coffee (you enlist your minifigures to help serve it to you):

signs of cuteness (and it's a cat!) in the world:

signs that your life may have been taken over by lego and that it might be time to head for bed.

the perfect end to a wonderful week

early in the week, i saw these stacks of awesomeness in my boss' boss's (i did one of each because i couldn't make it look right - any grammar police, please advise which is correct!) office. i nearly fainted dead away. they're all there. every. last. one. of. them.

and today, i had a meeting with that boss, which stretched from an hour to an hour and a half and during the course of it, he said i could select a single minifigure from any box of my choosing every friday. this is the one i chose. i was hoping for the equestrian.

but i got the gymnast, which was my second choice anyway and which is totally awesome! how lucky am i?  it was the perfect ending to a truly wonderful week. i think i actually feel sorry for anyone who doesn't work for lego. it must be the best place in the world to work.

and because you can never have too much, i had to share this fabulous MOC (my own creation - which means a lego object created from someone's imagination, not a set). it's pretty darn amazing.

exhausted in a good way

this blurry sunset photo, taken at the end of my day, well after it was way too dark to take a photo, perfectly matches how i feel right now. it's got a warm glow, but it's just not in focus. i had a long and full day of learning exciting new things and while that's wonderful, it's also exhausting. especially because we stood up for most of the day. if i'd known it was going to be standing up all day, i'd definitely have worn different shoes. my feet went from complaining to not speaking to me to cautious rapprochement here after i came home and showered and put them up for awhile. they will undoubtedly have a strong opinion about what shoes i wear tomorrow.

this week has been amazing so far. but it does tire you out in a completely different way than putting around home, writing a little bit here and there, taking some leisurely photos and then perusing pinterest for dinner ideas does. i'm loving every minute of it tho'.

probably one of the biggest challenges (other than remembering people's names), is learning a whole new corporate language. i've never been in a company that made consumer products before (unless you count microsoft and i was arguably in a B2B corner of that behemoth). it seems there's a whole language around the way you speak of pricing and intellectual property and licensing and play experiences and buyers and gift givers and moms and DNA and built-in toilets when you're a toy company. and i had a prolonged exposure to all of that today. it's like trying to decode a language that sounds vaguely familiar, but which also seems like total gobbledygook. and it's pretty exhausting. even while it's also exhilirating.

but i'm trying to remember that you can only have new experiences once before they aren't new anymore and i'm doing my best to enjoy every minute and everything i'm learning and doing. it's such a creative, positive atmosphere that i can't really do anything other than enjoy the ride, wherever it's going to take me. and right now, it's going to take me to bed. my brain says it's time to shut down and let it get on with the processing. i'm sure that tonight i'll be dreaming of lego.

good energy in the air

calamity drone

my lego movie minifigure collection is nearly complete. i just have shakespeare and gail the girl construction worker to go. isn't calamity drone cute with her fabulous hat? and speaking of lego, my head is beginning to fill with all kinds of input. not a whole lot of ideas as of yet, but i think i have to put a whole lot in and learn a bit more before something comes out. starting a new job is both exciting and exhausting. but in a very good way. tho' i thought the waiting would kill me, it didn't, and perhaps all that waiting even contributes to my own openness and eagerness to enjoy the whole experience. my new colleagues are so welcoming and positive i'm finding good, creative energy all around. i learned with that bad, bad job (i'm talking about you siemens wind power) a few years ago exactly how important that is. if the energy in the place is wrong, it will never be right. and i can tell you that the energy is amazing. 

so many thoughts are swirling in my head that i can't quite wrestle them to the page as of yet, but they will come. and i haven't forgotten or abandoned my february project, i'm just not getting home in time to properly photograph in the good light (hurry up spring!), so i'll have to do a roundup this weekend.

it's going well with the vegetarian month - there's even a big variety of vegetarian food at work, so i don't even have to be tempted there! and i'm sticking with the no wine thing too. i realize we're only 4 days into the month, but so far so good. it's easy to stay motivated when you're feeling positively high with good energy and new experiences. we'll have to see how it goes when things settle down.

* * *

love this story about the captain of the mary maersk.

* * *

and this visualization of the internet as a world map.

worth the wait

it wasn't easy, but i got through the waiting at long last. i spent the morning ironing and cleaning and tidying and at last selecting my outfit. i shouldn't have gone with the vintage boots because one heel (which i didn't even know was weak) cracked as i walked from the main building over to where i will work. i was able to glue it and hold it together for the day, and now it's just a funny memory.

had to have a selfie, of course. this is, after all, the age of the selfie.

and this is what was waiting for me on my desk when i arrived. a whole stack of apple awesomeness. it really doesn't get any better than that.

and i got to fish through a box of minifigs for the ones i don't have (alas, they weren't all there, but i will get the final two, i'm certain of it).

in denmark, you nearly always get a welcome bouquet of flowers when you start a new job. i had to bring mine home to enjoy them. most jobs, however, don't come with a whole lot of lego. but then, most jobs aren't this awesome.

the waiting is almost over

i wanted to report that i have what i call my sunday evening feeling. it's that feeling brought on by knowing that the laundry is done and put away, the dishwasher is going, the stalls are mucked out and all the animals are fed, you're bathed and ready to read a nice relaxing book before bed and you're completely ready to face the week ahead. and while all of those things are true, i don't have the serenity of the sunday evening feeling at all. because i'm just way too excited to start my new job tomorrow! i feel a bit like a child trying to get to sleep on christmas eve, lying wide-eyed in the dark, imagining christmas morning. hurry up already tomorrow!

* * *

reading this will make you want to hop the next plane to istanbul.

there's going to be a lot of changes around here

it's been awhile since i went to a regular office job on a daily basis. the last time was the misery that was siemens wind power. i believe they will eternally take the prize for the world's worst workplace (and that includes those clothing factories in bangladesh that burn up whole rooms of employees on a regular basis - those must be better - and that's not even hyperbole). if there's just less crying in meetings, my new job will be much better. but already, i digress. 

as i impatiently wait for the next ten days to pass, i have been pondering how it will change things around here that i'll no longer be making my own schedule. of course, i have been working over the past few years, but it's different when your schedule is largely your own to plan. if i wanted to do all of my work between 9 p.m. and 2 a.m., that was cool. if i did my work while wearing the same sweatpants and t-shirt three days in a row, that was also cool. now, people will be expecting me to appear, fully clothed and coiffed and not wearing the same thing for days on end, in an office during normal business hours. on a daily basis! and although i have no idea what i'm going to wear, i am really looking forward to it.

but it will change a lot of things. like when the horses get put out and put back in for that matter. it will also mean that i won't be here to play cat flap to the cats all day long, letting them in and out at their whims. they're going to have to decide at the beginning of the day whether they're in or out and they're going to have to stick with that. and sabin will need to use her new bicycle rather than having me chauffeur her from school to starbucks and back at her whim. (there will generally be a lot less whimming around here.)

as for the interwebs, i hope i'll spend less time on facebook and generally messing around online. i will still use pinterest to relax and as my sunday morning ritual. i expect to have more to blog about, rather than less and to expand my daily photo horizons beyond my own back yard. i'm looking forward to that. i will undoubtedly need this space more than ever to process what i'm thinking about all of the new input. 

so although things will change, i'm so much looking forward to those changes. i can't wait to be with people every day! new people, learning new things! getting new stimulus and input and having access to different sorts of creativity and creative types. i know it's going to give me so much energy and open up so many new synapses in my brain. it's very hard waiting for it to begin.

i'd like to say i've been using my time wisely, tidying up, getting caught up on laundry, making fabulous meals, sewing up a storm and creating all kinds of things. and to an extent, i have, but not nearly enough. i know i'll look back and think, "oh, i should really have written that novel while i had the time."

but there's some kind of paralysis that happens when you're waiting. you sort of shut down somehow and go into a kind of hibernation, preserving your strength until you need it. i hope i can come out of hibernation in the next week. i have a few things to finish up and a few things to get ready and i would like to make something with all of those beautiful supplies while i have the time.

* * *

must get some tiny people.

and photograph them.

like these.

only in my own way.

it's official!

it's official! i've known for a month, but i signed my contract today! i'll officially start working at LEGO on february 3! and i'm so very excited. it's really a dream job for me - working together with all kinds of creative people who have great ideas, to bring their ideas to life as LEGO products or projects. for someone who loves ideas and loves floating them out in the world to see what happens, it's pretty much perfect. i also think it will be good for my minifigure collection.

good news and good links

got some wonderful news today.
let's just say that you can expect a whole lot more LEGO
here on MPC in the new year.

i'm so excited.
and grateful to all of you who helped me with my co-creation question.
and sent good vibes and prayers my way.
they worked.

and after a run to germany for gin and other supplies,
i think i'm almost ready for christmas.

* * *

inside the life of a bookie.

* * *

an interesting blog.

* * *

deep thoughts from john.
worth reading.
worth pondering.

* * *

and for a laugh,
these hilarious answers to test questions.
really worth a look if you need a laugh.

* * *

a pretty accurate little personality test.
and it's short too, so it won't take too much time.