22/02/2022

it's one of those auspicious dates. at least according to the internet. and since 22 has always been my number (thanks to my birthday being march 22), it does genuinely feel like it might be. all the woo woo folks on tiktok (there is something i love about how buttery and reassuring this woman's voice is) are saying you should send your wildest dreams out into the universe today, because on this auspicious date, the universe will be listening. i'm not sure i really buy that, but it does seem worth a try.

what's makes me think there might be something to it is that when i went out to feed the chickens and the outdoor kitties, it was sunny and there was a hint of spring in the air. the birds were all twittering like they could feel it too. 

i think what i most want to manifest on this day is positivity. it can be so easy to fall into negativity and complaining, especially when you're a person who says sarcastic or cynical things for a laugh. but i want positivity in my life, so it seems like the best thing to manifest on this auspicious day. so i'm going to be positive and spread positive vibes. when i would go for the laugh with a negative wisecrack or say something shady (also for a laugh), i'm going to be positive instead. sending positivity into the universe will surely bring it back to me - and with it will be all those other things that people manifest, like success and wealth and health and love. and who can't use more of those things? in any case, it's worth a try. 

what are you manifesting today?

i solemnly swear i am up to no good

i've taken to giving myself a weekly set of intentions. i write them on sunday night, occasionally adding to the list during the week, as i sit down to write a few lines outlining my day in my cool journal notebook. opposite the week's page, there's a blank page that's perfect for a little list of intentions. they're really a sort of note to myself, reminding me of how i want to approach the week. some items make the list every week. some are a bit cheesy, some strident and some a bit trite and tired, yet i seem to constantly need to be reminded of them. instead of just vaguebooking about them, i'll share this week's list:

~ carry the weekend's sunshine with me all week, no matter what the weather.
~ no obsessing over the small stuff.
~ no wasting energy in the wrong places, on the wrong people.
~ preserve my energy.
~ do activities which enhance energy.
~ spend time with interesting people who are doing amazing things.
~ learn something new.
~ read a book instead of my phone before bed.
~ work on things which make me tick; ignore (just for this week) those that do not.
~ see the possibilities.
~ stay in an authentic place.
~ stay curious. ask questions. listen, really listen.
~ take pictures with the real camera, even if you have to stop the car to do it.
~ try to see things from a different viewpoint.

i'm seldom very good at keeping these things in mind once the week unfolds. i fall right back into my old usual, judgy, sarcastic and pessimistic patterns, but i figure if i keep doing it, one day it's bound to stick. changing is hard, trusting is perilous, and going for the cynical laugh is just easier. but maybe this week, it'll stick - monday is over and i've spent time with people who are doing amazing things, spent most of the day doing an activity which enhanced my energy, been curious and asked questions (tho' i undoubtedly could have asked more) and i only obsessed over the small stuff a little bit. it would be easier to just take a page from harry potter and solemnly swear i'm up to no good. that's an intention for the week that i could keep. but i probably won't grow much if i do that, so instead, i keep putting these good thoughts out there and at least trying to follow them.

fragments of niceness

i spotted this art project in the heart of copenhagen last week. #fragmentsofniceness by artist kit kjølhede. the sun was shining, i'd just come from a good meeting with my favorite colleagues and i was feeling buoyant. the bright colors, the happy snippets of conversation overheard in copenhagen spoke straight to my soul. what an admirable project - with all that's bad and awful (and orange-tinged) in the world these days, this was precisely what i needed. hell, it's what we all need!

this hasn't been an easy time. a not-very-well planned or communicated reorg about six months ago created a period of limbo and inertia. in such a situation, there are always some ambitious types who take advantage of the vacuum and grab more than they should. and in the absence of clear messages, everyone makes up their own stories and runs with them. and it can create a negative, unproductive space. i believe this is compounded by the darkness of the winter months in our northern climes. but things are beginning to be brighter and it's not just welcome rays of actual sunshine, but things really are becoming clearer. maybe we can only appreciate clarity when we have been wandering in fog.

and maybe the best way to break free of the uncertainty and negativity is to focus on the positive. to laugh instead of bristling and feeling angry. to help instead of hinder. to be open instead of closed. to overhear the positive and nice things. to listen instead of refusing to hear. to seek out nice things to say. and even more importantly, to think. to make sure the inner narrative is positive and open. to say yes to life and possibilities and new challenges and to let go of what's not working. 

i'm ordering a set of these postcards from the artist to hang up to remind myself to look and listen for positivity around me. i really do believe that you attract what you are looking for. and i also admit that of late, i've been looking for ghosts and schemes and lies and games being played - and guess what, i've found all of those in great quantity. well, no more. the time for negativity is past. 

this is the season to embrace change. it's boring when everything stays the same. this is the time to seek the most amazing stories and tell them well. this is the time to let go of what's not working. and to let go of things which are working but not moving anywhere in order to move on to newer, more exciting things. hanging on to the past isn't productive or healthy. it's not how we grow and learn and evolve and become better, stronger, more capable versions of ourselves. and while this may all sound dire, it's really not. it feels like stretching long unused muscles after a winter hibernation, feeling them out once again, exposing them to the warming rays of the sun, getting to know them and put them to good use.

of course, not everything needs to change - home, husband, child, cats and garden remain the fertile ground from which to grow, they are most definitely my own very best fragments of niceness. that and my t-rex costume. everyone should have one of those. they cheer you right up.

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amazing 9-year-old slays new yorker cartoon captions.

and for a bit more low brow version, check out these shitty captions for new yorker cartoons.

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if you find yourself rolling your eyes at the crystal-obsessed, this is for you.

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and one more from the new yorker...

molly ringwald is such a good writer.

enough

i know i complain a lot, but sometimes groups of women can be awesome to one another. there's no energy like the positive energy that a group of women can create when they want to. when someone needs support or a shoulder to lean on or just an ear, we can be there for one another. we don't need to have all the answers, sometimes what it takes is just to listen. to be there. to allow someone to be heard. to offer support and a hug. or even just to fill the air with the positive vibes that only creativity can create. sometimes that's enough.

good energy in the air

calamity drone

my lego movie minifigure collection is nearly complete. i just have shakespeare and gail the girl construction worker to go. isn't calamity drone cute with her fabulous hat? and speaking of lego, my head is beginning to fill with all kinds of input. not a whole lot of ideas as of yet, but i think i have to put a whole lot in and learn a bit more before something comes out. starting a new job is both exciting and exhausting. but in a very good way. tho' i thought the waiting would kill me, it didn't, and perhaps all that waiting even contributes to my own openness and eagerness to enjoy the whole experience. my new colleagues are so welcoming and positive i'm finding good, creative energy all around. i learned with that bad, bad job (i'm talking about you siemens wind power) a few years ago exactly how important that is. if the energy in the place is wrong, it will never be right. and i can tell you that the energy is amazing. 

so many thoughts are swirling in my head that i can't quite wrestle them to the page as of yet, but they will come. and i haven't forgotten or abandoned my february project, i'm just not getting home in time to properly photograph in the good light (hurry up spring!), so i'll have to do a roundup this weekend.

it's going well with the vegetarian month - there's even a big variety of vegetarian food at work, so i don't even have to be tempted there! and i'm sticking with the no wine thing too. i realize we're only 4 days into the month, but so far so good. it's easy to stay motivated when you're feeling positively high with good energy and new experiences. we'll have to see how it goes when things settle down.

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love this story about the captain of the mary maersk.

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and this visualization of the internet as a world map.

monday is a good day for a manifesto

i want light and laughter and love and moments of perfect clarity.
to float with the unbearable lightness of being.
to live in love and creativity and happiness and contentment.

to be full of ideas.
to share them.
to release them into the world
to become what they can become,
like children.

to be open.
not to judge.
to let people be who they are.
and realize it has nothing to do with me.
to release control.
to float free.
to not be tied down by negativity.
to be filled with boundless energy.
and abundance in every way.

to be kind to the planet.
to use its resources wisely.
consuming only my share.
and leaving it behind better than i found it.

to grow...inside, but also in the garden.
to change...inside, but also the world around me.
to embrace...myself and my faults, but also those around me.

to be wiser about who matters and who doesn't.
and when to say no.
and even more importantly, when to say yes.

to run headlong through this life, open and aware and alive.
basking in the unbearable lightness of being.

* with thanks to gillian, whose manifesto inspired and to kundera for the unbearable lightness of being, and also to me, for being open to change and a whole lot of other things.

wherein she overuses the word "energy"

choosing your path

such an awesome day. i went to a place where i know there is truly bad energy palpable in the very air. in fact, it was actually proven by a strange phenomenon as i approached...it was a sunny and gorgeous morning. several times along the way, i wished i had time to stop and snap a photo or two, the light was so beautiful, glowing golden green on the fields. but as i approached my destination, a heavy, grey fog settled over the very buildings themselves. the bad energy inside seemingly manifesting as an actual weather phenomenon outside. quite extraordinary.

but i was in a good place (thanks to my week of positivity) and took my positive energy inside with me, honestly feeling no apprehension about it, despite knowing what i knew about the place. and i was able to keep it all day, even tho' there were times when it flagged somewhat (hungry will do that to anyone). it helped that i was working with someone who definitely gives me positive energy. and even at the end of the day, i felt great. instead of being tired and finished, i had all of the energy i needed to change clothes and jump on my bike and go meet sabin, who was biking home. we found a sad, lost kitty in the forest along the way (and brought her home in my bike basket). then we ate out in the garden, grilling a leisurely dinner and having a glass of wine and enjoying the gorgeous weather.

it helped that the topic of today's course was on written communication. as we know, i love that. but honestly, a big part today was that on sunday night i decided to have a great week. i don't want to go all new agey, but it seems that there is something to the power of positive thinking (and sunshine). and of working with people who give you energy instead of taking it away.

i must remember this. it seems to be a powerful thing and gives new meaning to the notion of renewable energy.

an awesome week

in the belief that writing is the new praying, i hereby declare that the coming week will be awesome.

i will

... do everything on my to do list.

...not waste time doing things that don't move things forward in some way. even if it's just small steps.

...not let energy-stealers steal my energy.

...remember to water the seeds we planted this afternoon.

...spend a bit of time watching the garden grow.

...read interesting stuff. and more interesting stuff.

...spend time with people who inspire me and give me positive energy.

...try not to be totally insufferable with all this positivity.

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i had a nice weekend (in case you couldn't tell) and i hope you did too.