the endless possibilities in a bit of alone time

we were talking at lunch the other day about alone time. and how utterly blissful it is. i love time alone. husband is off in copenhagen being political today. sabs is hanging out with her boyfriend. and i've got the house all to myself. and it feel so luxurious and so full of possibility. i could sew something. i could read. i could drink tea. i could experiment in the kitchen. i could paint. or stitch. or take photos of minifigures. or scan some spring flowers on my scanner. or take a nap. or pin some things on pinterest. or write. or maybe a little of everything.

what would you do if you had a whole day to yourself?

april snow

i was so dismayed yesterday as i drove into a small patch of snow flurries, just as i got near our new house. i was going to pick up the keys and drop off a few things. it seemed like a bad omen, that snow.

the house, now empty, seems forlorn. and i had another of those awful moments of the Enormity of the Project. since the first look at this house, we've been looking beyond what's there and concentrating on what we see in our minds - focusing on the potential and not the reality. but now that it's empty that reality is even more stark - sagging wallpaper, greying paint on the walls, low ceilings, the most awful silly putty color of paint on the kitchen cupboards (seriously unappetizing), i could go on and on. we have a five-year-plan for what we want to do with it, but five years is five years and we will live in it in the meantime. and that's just how it is.

but even more overwhelming was a sense of sorrow hanging over the house. the family we're buying it from is moving because their dreams and hopes didn't turn out as they planned and it had become a place they associated with those broken dreams. although i know this doesn't mean it will be a sorrowful place for us, that sadness is hanging there in the air. and it was very nearly physically palpable yesterday when i stopped by in the sudden snowstorm. 

i can tell you that next week, although we're not going to paint and fix everything (those pink cupboards have got to go), i can't wait to open all of the windows and let in fresh air and sunshine. fresh air and sunshine should go a long way towards chasing the sadness away, but some friends have suggested a ceremonial exorcism cleansing and i may actually have to do something along those lines. we have to chase out the previous sadness and replace it with our energy and happiness. and while i feel confident we can do that, things were looking a little blurry there for awhile in yesterday's april snow.

secret 18 - fired

my parents met at a newspaper. my mom was a typesetter and my dad a sports reporter. they always referred to the building as the scene of the crime when we drove past as a kid. my dad always told the story that he was fired from that job because he refused to wear a bow tie, which was part of the standard, required uniform. and i loved and admired that story and although one never hopes to be fired, it taught me that it's not really all bad if you are...

boring brown microsofty door

it's really true that when one door closes, another one opens. in may of 2004, i was fired. from no less than microsoft. no warnings. no reason. and i had a lawyer that eventually proved it. the only reason was an insecure boss (probably another failed state pageant wanna be--tho' from north dakota--which is also why i dislike fargo--another story for another day--and even more pathetic than being a miss south dakota wanna-be (we do all need our albanian and north dakotans are quite frankly south dakotans albanians--don't really know who the north dakotans have to look down on--perhaps people from idaho?)).

the real reason i was fired was that my boss wanted to kill my project. another area of microsoft with funding for it contacted me and wanted me to finish it. it was easter and a lot of people were on holiday. and i agreed, without securing permission. and a purchase order was opened. thereby foiling my utterly incompetent and insecure middle manager (whose name i will gladly tell you directly if you email me) in her attempt to stop my project. but which made me appear insubordinate. which perhaps it was. but it was actually in the best interest of the company (which her reason--hating me--was not). anyway, she had the power and she fired me--illegally, as it turned out--and they had to pay for that--six months of salary--which nicely gave me the summer off.

just an aside--i only accidentally worked for microsoft because they bought the danish software company i was working for--meaning that i did not choose to work for The Man. however, i actually did enjoy it. big companies have huge possibilities. and they teach you that if you make good arguments, you can do whatever you want. and that's a good lesson.

much prettier door

anyway..it's true that in being fired another door opens...because what it meant was that i saw other possibilities all around me. and answered an ad in a newspaper and got a great job that i loved and that afforded me the opportunity to create an incredible network and see a whole lot of the world. and although that job burned me out, leaving it (of my own accord, incidentally) in turn opened yet another door...

even prettier door

so you never know what series of events that being fired can set off...and what doors it may open for you, even far beyond what you think the statute of limitations might be. perhaps a door to a whole new life....which might be the life you should actually be living. 

i wonder what's behind this pretty, bright door...

(VEG, this one is for you.)