morning rituals

i read this morning that 15 minutes of meditation a day can have a great effect on the brain. and i'm thinking, i want my 50ish-year-old brain to operate like a 25-year-old one, as far as the functioning of the old grey matter is concerned. i don't recall searching for words at 25, so yes, bring that on. and it got me thinking about my morning ritual. it mostly consists of picking up my phone to see what madness the spray-tanned buffoon came up with overnight. i normally watch colbert and trevor to get their take on it - i find it hard to take it directly, i need it filtered through intelligent humor. then i turn off my sleep cycle app. then i get up, pretty much making the bed as i get out of it. i'm a bed maker, i think it's the one small ritual that sets the tone for your day. if you leave a neatly-made bed, there's a good chance of less chaos in the day that stretches ahead, even if the cats come along and lay on it during the day, leaving little hollows here and there. our cat bob won't lie on the bed unless it's made and if it's not, he'll come along and stare disdainfully until you make it. and i always make the bed.

next, i make a cup of tea. if it's the weekend, i'll make a pot, or rather husband makes a pot and brings me the first cup of tea in bed. that's a ritual that i love. but things sort of fizzle out from there. i sit down in front of the computer, checking mails, reading articles and blogs, fiddling around on pinterest, maybe writing a blog post like this one. mostly wasting time, if i'm honest. lately, i have australian master chef playing in the background, so i'm also half pondering what's for dinner later in the day (hmm, can i get squid somewhere nearby?).

i'm not sure any of these rituals are helping my brain very much, nor are they getting me regular exercise or making me more organized or helping me figure out what's next.

and speaking of my quest to figure out what's next, i've undertaken a major clearing out in our "box room," where we stashed all the boxes of books and stuff we didn't have room/shelves for when we moved here nearly a decade ago. i'm ruthlessly tossing lots of things that we haven't missed, but admittedly i probably should be even more ruthless about it. i'm hoping having that room more organized will create space in my brain for better habits that move me forward. so i guess i'd better get cracking. but first, maybe 15 minutes of meditation?

a magical color show of the mind

this photo of kusama's gleaming lights of the souls that's at louisiana museum of modern art is the closest i could get to an experience i had last evening. i had an MRI scan of my back. that meant lying very still for half an hour, listening to dire straits. then, the tech came in and said he'd like to do a second scan higher up, after seeing the nerve issues in my knee, which took another 20 minutes or so. it seems that i very likely have a herniated disc and maybe even two, tho' i won't know for sure until i see the doctor on monday. but, enough about that.

the MRI called forth my weak synesthesia - and during the whole thing, where the magnets did their rotational thing, i saw before my closed eyes, the most amazing color show. it was a wide range of color, from deep, dark purple to rich teal to bright orange with sunflower yellow edges and an amazing salmony peachy color, like a summer sunset. the whole range of color notes, from deep bass to clear, tinkling, dancing high notes. i did wonder if the dire straits was actually what was triggering the color show before my eyes, but when the cd ran out for the last five minutes and the colors continued, i knew it was the machine. it made what might have been a nerve wracking experience, full of strange noises and being uncomfortable and having to be still while being in pain, into a pleasant, relaxing and almost magical one.

i found myself wishing i could take a photo of what i saw there on the inside of my eyelids, but alas, i could not. i may get out watercolors and try to duplicate it, but somehow, it seems like something that i should just preserve in memory - just a little conversation between my brain, my central nervous system and me.