things i learned in norway

i'm sitting in the lounge, my flt should have been in 20 minutes, but instead it's in 50. however, i'm content because i love airports, there's free internet and yes, free wine (albiet italian not south african) and free coffee (strangely can feel the effects of the coffee more than the wine, which is perhaps something i should ponder on another occasion).

but i've learned a few things sitting here:

• if you are a bit chubby totally fat, but wearing a suit and think no one is watching, you should look around and see if anyone is in fact watching before straightening your skirt in a way which would make people who were watching glancing up curl up their toes.
• some british guy's wells (we're talking oil here not water) are showing very encouraging results.
• someone's competitor is laying up five ships (he wouldn't say who that competitor was, tho' the wife on the other end of the phone really tried).
• people have some weird notion that b/c they're in a foreign country no one will speak english.
• they are wrong.
• they've changed out the south african white for an italian one. 
• it's not bad.
• i just saw a guy with a red wine glass full of bailey's.
  
• if you wear some seriously cool high heels, wolford black stockings with some kind of tattoo-like patterns on them (yes, they are worth the $47 you must pay), flat-iron your hair and wear eyeliner that borders on night-time makeup along with your big hoop earrings and molly's fabulous beads, boys in shipping will tell you anything.

life is good here in the lounge.