protective energy

most amazing experience today. we had an open house in our atelier at the top of the library. the purpose was to show the community the kinds of things we do in our little creative group and hopefully gain some new members. i hadn't seen a certain member since the day she screamed at me and drove off. i didn't see her come in and only realized she was there when i heard her voice behind me. i said, "hello, nice to see you," as i walked past. but i'll admit i felt nervous about her being there. she awkwardly stammered back a hello. 

i went downstairs with my good friend and told her that i felt nervous. she said, you have to protect yourself with some good energy before you go back upstairs. she tried to guide me to do it. she told me to picture a calming blue light, starting at my head and enveloping me. i closed my eyes and tried. the only light that would come was orange. then she stood in front of me, warmed her hands and raised them above my head. as soon as her hands were there, the light turned from orange to a rich, dark blue. then she proceeded to draw a line of protection around me. i could feel prickles of energy, though she didn't touch me. i got all goosebumps. and i really could see that rich, blue light enveloping me. then she gave me a big hug and told me she loved me. it was amazing and though i know it sounds completely woo woo, i really felt protected. 

back upstairs, my nemesis sat near me and i could feel waves of bad energy coming from her. and i swear i could almost see my protective energy field pushing them away, protecting me from them. i found myself smiling and feeling calm and happy. it was mind-blowing. and it felt absolutely amazing. 

she left early. maybe she could feel her bad energy being pushed back at her. i still feel sorry for her. she's still clearly in a bad place and it hasn't gotten better. i really hope she gets some help.

i think everyone left in a good mood, feeling great for having being creative together for a few hours. we definitely need to do more of these sessions. 

underskudsmenneske

some years ago i wrote about someone i had encountered who seemed to be an underskudsmenneske (deficit person). i just reread that long-ago post and realized that i have encountered another such person and her deficit came to a head tonight in the ugliest fashion. 

happily, i had had a very good day. i'm feeling happy with my projects at work, i had a really exciting conversation with an artist whose work i love, i learned a bit about making paper and spent a little bit of time at my favorite little museum, which has a magical, energy-giving atmosphere. that all left me feeling like an overskudsmenneske (surplus person). the last time i encountered her, my energy wasn't as high and i wrote about it here. 

this evening, i think that the energy i was beaming was too much for this poor underskudsmenneske. she cracked and became herself, age 8 (though honestly, that might be unfair to 8-year-olds). it was shocking to me, who was the target (she flung at me that i was a "bad person" before jumping in her car and driving away), and my two fellow board members, who were also right there. we all stood there gape-mouthed. i may have actually said, "what the fuck?" 

i feel sorry for her and i hope she actually gets the mental health care that she needs, she's clearly going through something and since my energy was good this evening, i know that it wasn't about me at all. and i'm pretty sure i'm not a bad person. and also, who could feel bad with a sunset like that?