a little assemblage of thoughts on the tragic events in paris

the tragic events in paris at charlie hebdo are on my mind, like they surely are for you as well. i'd frankly never heard of the magazine before, but my french is pretty weak, so it's no wonder. i have great affection for biting satire that forces you to think deeper and from what i've seen and read, they produce a newspaper in that vein. it is a horrible tragedy that they were slaughtered for doing so by people who didn't agree with their views and methods. it's so horrible that i think on some level i can't even really fathom it. it seems quite unreal, even in the face of graphic videos shot by bystanders. so it's taken me a few days to begin to collect my thoughts enough to write something about it. but i have been reading a lot of articles about it in a variety of places, from the nytimes to the guardian to danish newspapers to a friend's blog. that blog is probably the best, most sensible piece i've read.

i find it exceptionally disheartening what the tragedy seems to have done to people. i see it in my facebook feed, but i'm also reading it in the various opinion pieces online. it's not only the blood and gore of it, but how it has turned on a hatred of an entire religion, based on the actions of a few fanatics. my facebook feed is full of people calling for closing denmark's borders and sending home syrian refugees, calls to withdraw all resources from programs which help people in need who happen to be muslim. there is a mass reaction that is very black & white, very unnuanced and which, in my view, contains as much hate as those men with the guns must have felt on wednesday. it's a similar kind of reactionary fanaticism.  and it's tinged with more than a little racism and xenophobia. and to me, it means that the terrorists have won beyond their wildest imagination. if they can make us fear and hate at the same level as they do, they have reduced us.

i am heartened to see pockets of rationality and sense here and there. twitter is our barometer these days and like in australia, where a supportive hashtag surfaced, saying #illridewithyou, after the lunatic held all those hostages in the lindt café, there seems to be a groundswell of folks rallying around the policeman they so brutally shot, saying #jesuisahmed, rather than #jusuischarlie, which carries with it a more radical connotation.

it is hard to see what good can possibly come of this, but i do hope that we are able to take up a discussion which allows us to discuss the nuances and actually begin to address the problems that underlie these things...like the imbalance of resources in this world, the imperialist notions of those in the west, so sure of our own superiority, like getting education to women and the young populations of the muslim countries, so that they can see that they have options other than violence. rather than saying we need to send all of the foreigners home, maybe we should make them more welcome around here. it's much harder for people to hate and kill when they are your friends.

ponderings as the holiday winds down

questions i'm currently pondering:

~ will spring ever come?

~ what is the shape of now?

~ what is the feeling of now?

~ what is the look of now?

~ what do i want to be when i grow up?

~ tho' i've read lots of complaints out there about daylight savings time, i still love it. i'd rather have my light at the end of the day, thank you. it cuts back on television time and lets you sleep a bit longer.

~ what will i read next?

~ will i ever really be able to quiet my mind and meditate? (and will it help if i do?)

~ as much as i think the notion of coaching is a snake oil worthy of p.t. barnum (there's a sucker born every minute) or scientology, do i actually need one? or would it be better to just go running?

~ is it ok to be a snob? 

~ is it ok to assess the blame in order to avoid taking on someone else's bullshit? (husband says yes and i'm inclined to believe him.)

~ how can i introduce play into my everyday? and is there a way make a living doing so? (without involving too many children.)

~ i need more happenings in my life. and pop-up shops. and restaurants. and quality coffee. and organic veggies.

~ how can i be a better friend to me?

~ when will i stop using that essie nail polish that destroys my nails?

~ do you think you are drawn to the things you need, just when you need them?

~ where is the outrage in the danes over the coming teacher lock-out? (it starts tuesday and will last indefinitely.) and what do people do who don't have a child old enough to be left home alone in front of the internet with her iMac?

~ why don't people don't write letters like this anymore?

What is needed is constant work, day and night, constant reading, study, will…. Every hour is precious for it…. Come to us, smash the vodka bottle, lie down and read…. Turgenev, if you like, whom you have not read.

that's not quite true, i have read turgenev. and my bottle of choice is gin.

but of course, chekhov wasn't writing to me.

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how fabulous does this version of alice in wonderland look?

with art by yayoi kusama.

circles are everywhere, i tell you. everywhere. it's the shape of now.