i should be where people are not

i need to be where people are not. i'm on the verge of a cold, achy and crabby and a bit foggy in the head. everything and everyone is very irritating, the internet, facebook, my family, the needy cat, the less needy cat, the totally independent cat, a crazy woman who knits with yarn she's stuffed up her lady parts (i could go on but i'd like to give you a moment with that image in your head)...

my energy is sapped by the sunday market. tho' our space is limited and we only had space for a dozen sellers, so much work went into it - setting up (i was not only selling my wares, but i also was one of the organizers), making things, preparing, doing everything i could to make sure the other sellers would be happy with their spots. we had ads in the local paper two weeks in a row and still, very few people came and those who came, weren't really in a buying mood. i think everyone sold some of their work, but i think everyone also wished they had sold more. and while not all of it was my taste, the quality was high. lots of christmasy floral arrangements involving candles and bits of greenery, but homemade goodies as well.

but the most energy-sapping aspect wasn't not selling as much as i might have liked, but it was a general bad atmosphere. we managed to get it a little bit on track in the afternoon thanks to some spotify christmas music lists, but it was a long few hours before i managed to lure husband out of the woods (literally, he was out working on the trees that fell over in a storm last summer) and have him deliver the iPod HiFi to me. and i can't put my finger on what it was...too many people with the same type of items was a factor, and they spent the first hour or so sitting and glaring at one another. the lack of music was a factor, as was the lack of crowds. people didn't feel comfortable going around, looking, when there weren't very many people and everyone could hear everything they said. danes are generally shy with people they don't know and so those who came hurried around, looking, eyes averted, not wanting to talk to the sellers if they didn't know one another.

a number of people admitted out loud that they weren't going to buy anything, but were just gathering ideas so they could make things themselves. yes, really. out loud. i mean, we all think that, but to say it outright to the people who worked hard to make their wares seems a little mean. or at the very least, thoughtless. but it was that kind of day and that kind of atmosphere.

worst of all is the lack of cooperation within our little community. we tried to schedule the market to coincide with the arrival of santa and the lighting of the christmas tree on the square (which is organized by the local commerce association). when we scheduled the market, they were on the same day and then, funnily enough, the local commerce association changed the date to the day before. they did something similar with our market late last summer and tho' i'm certain it was more a lack of communication than malice, it does begin to feel a bit like the latter. would it really kill them to communicate and coordinate?

so my energy is gone. i don't want to be a pessimist or give up on organizing these types of activities (for the sense of community, even more than commerce), but it is disheartening. tho' i'm normally full of ideas for the next steps and what to learn from such experiences, i'll admit this time i'm all tapped out.

maybe a person shouldn't try to over analyze with a cold coming on...

* * *

and speaking of craft and community,

why do the craft sessions have to be so far from my hemisphere?

desuetude in photography

this photo of an abandoned farmhouse in SD is by me

bloggy friend celkalee sent me a link to some stunning (if a bit over-processed) photography of abandoned places by dutch photographer niki fejen. some of the the photos were featured yesterday on huffington post. i initially thought the photographer was a woman and it's weird how i had a different feeling about the photos before i found out fejen was a man. fejen calls the style urbex (urban exploring) and he likes to wander places you're not supposed to go (i like him already).  he makes me want to visit chernobyl even more than i did before. (note: i have chosen not to post any of his photos here (it seemed impolite) - please visit his website to see them.)

but as usual, the photos have me thinking. i find them, with their HDR style, to be over-processed and despite the subject matter, too slick. tho' at the same time, they are rich and lush and i linger at each one, taking in all of the details of the desuetude. but the processing gives me pause as to their authenticity. i have to wonder if some of them aren't staged.

errol morris devoted an entire chapter of his book believing is seeing (which i highly recommend, it's a must-read if you like to ponder photography) to a photo of mickey mouse amidst rubble that may or may not have been staged by photographer ben curtis in lebanon on 2006. morris does an exhaustive analysis of whether the photo was staged, even interviewing curtis, who says it was not. he also sensitively explores the feelings such photos bring forth in us and the meanings we instinctively ascribe to them and how they can be used to manipulate public opinion. it's a discussion of authenticity and staging that's worth reading. but i digress a bit from fejen's photos. and i recognize that if they are at times staged, it means less than if photos of war are staged.

as i looked through the gallery on fejen's website, some of the photos just rang with a false note for me. was that moss on the bed in photo no. 11 really that green or has he dialed it up in photoshop? photo no. 36 - i have to wonder if that bowler hat was really there on the back of the chair, or did niki pick it up and place it there for the shot? the wheelchair in no. 44 and no. 45 would seem to indicate proof of staging. the open doors, affording a peek in to a jesus statue down the hall in no. 46 seems a bit too perfect. the way the chairs are carefully lined up in no. 122. and the doll with the gas mask on in the chernobyl set, did she really have that on and was she really sitting on that chair? but does any of this matter? anytime you raise your camera and take a shot, you're making choices about what's included and what's not and you are, in a sense, manipulating the scene. it's part of the medium. i think when it bothers me is when it causes the photo to ring false.

i also find it a bit annoying that for the most part, the photos are not labeled as to where they are taken, tho' i recognize that abandoned hospital near berlin that so many have photographed. i wonder why he has chosen to do that? i look at them and the first thing i wonder is where it's at. is he afraid we'll all jump on a plane and go take our own pictures? or does he think it lends meaning for us to imagine for ourselves where they are? me, i just find it rather irritating.

i am, however, a sucker for a dead piano (no. 28, 33, 36, 146, the organ in no. 58) - there is such aching beauty in those. and i still remember the first one i saw and photographed, in an old castle along the banks of the volga river. unfortunately, it's buried somewhere in a box somewhere in this house and i cannot locate it at the moment, so i can't show it to you. 

magic beads indeed

a few more hours have passed since my airport lounge post. a lot has happened. i've been on two flights. i've spent an hour fuming about how backwards it is that you have to collect your bag in oslo (even tho' it's checked through to the remote wilds of norway), go through customs (which means OUT into the world), and then go upstairs and wait in line to recheck it (while meanwhile the precious minutes between your flights are ticking swiftly away).  i would seriously not have made it without the gold counter and the fast track security--and there must be a lot of people who have to do that who aren't gold and i wonder if they make it--i was sure my bag would never make it, hence the fuming. but the bag did make it, and so did i, so the fuming was for nothing...and now back to your regularly scheduled blog post...i've also rented a car, taken a ferry from the little island the airport is on, over to another little island (picturesque and GORGEOUS) where i found my hotel after a very long search (suffice it to say it wasn't where the rental car guy said it was...and i was rather disturbed by the fact that my clever phone showed the blue dot that was me to be out in the water when i was definitely not out in the water). now i've realized it's well after 10 p.m. and still light out, which in turn made me realize this is the furthest north i've been in my life. i haven't had any dinner and it's too late on a monday night to get any and i think my car might be illegally parked. but honestly, you can't stay mad at norway, even if that customs thing is stupid, it's just so beautiful.

and despite all of that, i have felt the most amazing opening of my mind. it's like my experience today cleared out some blockage that i didn't even know was there. on the plane, i scribbled out seven pages of blog ideas in my little blog notebook and another 4 of thoughts for the articles i'm working on at the moment. the ideas are flowing, the writing is flowing (not that you can tell that from this), it's like a light came on in some blocked, remote part of my brain that i had forgotten even existed and it's just so cool!

being a bit superstitious, i actually credit how this day has gone (the good bits) to the fact that i was wearing the cool grey beads molly sent me today--two strands of them. they gave me some kind of strength, like a talisman. they felt smooth and cool around my neck, like good medicine. and they looked spectacular. thank you molly, they are definitely magic beads. :-)

i promise all those ideas will be more in evidence tomorrow, just wanted to capture some of the manic monday feeling it's given me this evening...