the view from here

the last of our long spring holiday weekends is winding down. we got our fair share of most welcome sunshine. after a nice dinner (another of those south dakota beef roasts that have strangely been available in our local grocery store), husband and i took a walk down to the lake. the wind, which had been blowing quite intensely all day had all but died down and we had a quiet moment on what's left of the fallen tree (husband has been hard at work turning it into firewood). birdsong and the smell of verdant summer were all around us as we gazed at the peaceful lake. it was a good way to end the day and the weekend. 

i've had need for peaceful moments of late...needless strife and conflict with my sister has zapped my energy. why are we hardest on those we love the most? i have been reminded that words are sharper weapons than actual physical blows and healing from unwisely chosen words takes longer than a recovering from a physical injury. i wonder at times if you ever really get over the most hurtful accusations? especially if they are bewildering and incomprehensible. i've also realized that losing a parent makes you feel and behave in strange ways that make you unrecognizable, perhaps even to yourself. grief is a journey.

but working outdoors in the garden, or indoors on the new kitchen, or even cleaning, tidying and doing laundry - things where you see the tangible results of what you do - really does help. it eases the mind and soothes the wounded spirit. and so does a moment by the lake, breathing the quiet, letting it penetrate your very pores. 

it will eventually be ok in the end. and if it's not ok, it's not the end. 

* * *

this made me laugh.

"i went paleo and now i hate everything."

* * *

check out the amazing 1917 chalkboards they found under some other chalkboards in oklahoma city.

weeding as a metaphor for life

tuscan kale and blue viking wellies

i haven't been weeding enough in the garden. i blame that i wasn't sure which bits were weeds and which were the actual plants i had planted. and with all of the rain lately, it's gotten a bit out of hand. on the bright side, it's a bit easier to tell the plants that should be there from the ones that shouldn't (the ones that shouldn't are WAY ahead). so we spent some time weeding late this afternoon.

there's some kind of strange peace in weeding. you can immediately see the results of your work. there is a sense of progress (as long as you don't look up or look around when your garden is as large as ours). it feels wholesome. and there's simply no way around it, you just have to do it. one weed at a time.

if i'd been able to stop talking to husband while i was weeding (i could feel that he wished i'd shut up, but still i talked), it would have been quite meditative. i'm going to try that kind of meditation in the near future. productive meditation. getting something done while meditating, that can only be good.

i found it very peaceful. and there's plenty to do tomorrow.

i've vowed that i'll spend at least an hour weeding every day. it could be that weeding in my garden will weed some of the other unwanted things from my life in general. like procrastination. and lack of focus. because when you're weeding, you have to focus - you focus on what needs to be there and what doesn't.

it might very well be that weeding is a metaphor for life.