Wednesday, May 19, 2010

all is quiet on the western front

mathilde is well enough again to go out in the pasture and eat some fresh grass.
she had quite the snot nose on the weekend - a natural consequence of all the new horses she's been around of late.
after a bit of time spent hugging the horse, we had an after-dinner walk around our lake (have i mentioned we have a lake?) in the golden early evening light. the sun finally emerged around 6 or so after being rather shy for most of the day (and the preceding two weeks).

that blurry white spot in the middle is a mean swan.
this time we went over to the other side of our lake. you can see the boat across the way.
it was really pretty, tho' rather overgrown, on the other side.


father and daughter are just fine again after last evening's meltdown. we all have a meltdown once in awhile and there have been a lot of changes around here of late, so i suppose it's all to be expected. but i appreciate very much your supportive comments in regard to my parenting doubts.

i was thinking about that today. our parents never had any doubts. moms of the previous generation just shipped us off to a babysitter, popped a couple of valium and went to play bridge and drink daquiris with their friends. maybe that was quite a healthy way of handling it. we put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be perfect these days. and let's face it, nobody's perfect. we just have to do the best we can. and possibly speak to the doctor about that valium prescription...

13 comments:

Kim said...

I don't think its correct to say that our parents didn't have any doubts. They just weren't allowed to articulate them - you did what was expected of you and all would work out in the end.

Savitra said...

I cannot presume to speak for my parents or their generation. But this I know, neither of my parents took Valium or any other substance. They rarely drank or played cards and both worked long hours each day. And I never had a babysitter. My dad's recreation was reading the newspaper and weekend fishing excursions to a nearby river. My mother knitted in her spare time and that was about it. When they retired they bought a very small trailer and visited state and National Parks, mostly in the western states.

Agreed, angst and doubts seemed to show up in the generations following theirs. Subsequent generations are aptly referred to as the Cornucopia generations.

Lisa-Marie said...

My nana, who would be in your parent's generation, did drink and play cards, and her children were occasionally sent to a babysitter.

Parents worries now are a paranoia based on the fact that there are so many books published on parenting, that there are so many TV programmes, and that the internet is seemingly full of perfect parents.

I think all you can do is learn from you parents, and your friends parents, and go with your heart. No one gets it 100% right.

Lisa-Marie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kristina - no penny for them said...

ah lol, julie! i sure know what you mean (although my mum never played bridge and popped valium - as your mum obviously never did...).

a friend of mine once left a baby play group after a couple of weeks because all those young mums were talking about was how they lost sleep and agonised about the right choice of veg for self-made organic baby food -- thinking that the wrong choice obviously would ruin the entire life of their offspring. that's just mad!

p.s.: i have a feeling that kids might feel more pressurised by growing up with all-too-perfect parents than with real people and the strengths and weaknesses they have.

mrs mediocrity said...

I love your lake. I am going to have to spend a lot of time there when I come over to dust...
I think every parent has doubts, it comes with the territory. My mom, at 67, still drives herself crazy about the mistakes she made, despite the fact that we all (4 of us) tell her that she was actually a great mother, not perfect, but she gave it and us her all. That is all you can do I think.
And my son is grown, just graduating from college, and I look at him and wish I had done this or that, but the truth is, he turned out to be a fine young man.
Don't beat yourself up. Just love her. That's what matters most. There will be meltdowns, she will be mad at you, more often through the teenage years. That means you are doing your job. (Which is what I always told my son whenever he had a complaint--"If I'm not making you mad at least part of the time then I'm not doing my job."

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RosaMaría said...

what a lovely spring photos! the first one is so sweet!!

Meri said...

Meltdowns are just part of life. If we couldn't drip into a puddle when the stress just gets too much, what would life be? And the thing about parental angst is that most children turn out just fine. Our flaws just become fodder for therapy.

Teri and the cats of Furrydance said...

My cat Disco swears by Paxil, though he's put on weight on it as humans often do...

Lizzie said...

Totally fantastic images! Love them!

Gwen said...

Boarding school and Jesus also works for calming parenting neuroses. Or so I've heard.

Sammi said...

I think we think our parents didn't worry so much because when you're that age you just slam your door and don't worry about what's being said, or left unsaid, downstairs. Glad things are better now, tho.

Mathilde looks happy, and Sabin looks cute cuddling her.