Wednesday, April 29, 2009

she's at it again

remember the last time i came to oslo (i'm talking to all of my pre-BoN lovelies) how some moron apparently packed my suitcase, leaving out essential items like clean underwear and deodorant and footwear one could be seen in in public, but including things like knitting needles (when i don't even know how to knit) and three different kinds of perfume (that at least we understand)? well, apparently, she's been at work again...

  1. she failed to pack my toothbrush, which i didn't discover until after the big-ass mall next door had closed and i was forced to brush my teeth with my finger and some toothpaste (which thankfully WAS in the makeup bag as usual--and i'd really like to know where my travel toothbrush is).
  2. she ordered my tickets home for late friday afternoon, not realizing that friday is a HOLIDAY and therefore a day off in norway. and then, when i tried to change my ticket today, i discovered that on a holiday, norwegians apparently choose to flee norway via copenhagen, as there was NO WAY to move the flight up. not a flight to be had outta here tomorrow evening or friday morning, so i'll be the ONLY ONE IN NORWAY until 16:20 on friday.
  3. that moron keeps insisting on speaking danish to clerks in shops (double lattes are allowed during austerity april) and waiters (so is dinner). this leads the norwegians to think that i have a prayer of understanding their response. which i don't.
  4. she ordered a double latte after 4 p.m. this will not be good after restless swine-flu ridden sleep last night (coughing, couldn't breathe--ok, it might be the birch pollen, not the swine flu), but i need some beauty sleep!
  5. she broke austerity april and impulse-purchased an album called little things (thinking perhaps it wouldn't count against the austerity april thing if it was just a little thing) by hanne hukkelberg . it's a bit weird (in a good, tori amos/regina spektor/marie frank kinda way) and although i think she's norwegian, she largely sings in english and swears in danish. which, on the whole, i like. and it was a nice price album at only 89.90NOK, which is close to free, so it didn't break austerity april THAT badly, or wouldn't have had she not also authorized the purchase of the new whitest boy alive. she apparently knows we like norwegian music.
lastly, she made me get a brownie with my coffee after 4 p.m., tho' arguably that might have been molly's fault.


17 comments:

Extranjera said...

Maybe your cleaning girl has appropriated your toothbrush...?
Just getting you back for my earlier paranoia. Now I just have to figure out how to get Kirsi back for agreeing with you.
;o)

julochka said...

funny you say that, because it had occurred to me...which only means that i'm pondering your toothbrush, which may border on stalking.

Extranjera said...

Well, little stalking (I stalk this Finnish singer who lives pretty close to our summer cottage, and Mandela of course) can be forgiven, if your intentions are not bordering on the no nos, like murder and murder associated things.
That's my philosophy anyways.

iasa said...

You're incompetent packer sounds like a handful. She should not be allowed chocolate for a whole day.

I neva remember to pack a toothbrush, consequently I have one in all of my bags, in my car, at all my friends. The one that gets used the most though is the one in my field pack. Good thing i keep my trowel covered :)

marathoner81 said...

I think she was probably drinking when she packed your suitcase.

Char said...

she apparently also put away the hummingbird feeder I purchased last month and now cannot find.

Suecae Sounds said...

This must be a prodigious character, because apparently she is everywhere, creating havoc and chaos as she turns our lives a little bit upside nwod. ;)

julochka said...

i'm really quite relieved that you all seem to know her too. :-) now will you TAKE HER AWAY, PLEASE? so i can get some rest? did i mention that i think i have swine flu? and i haven't been to mexico since about 1995. i'm a bit of a slow starter that way...

Pattern and Perspective said...

I think you might have a mischievious little elver at home. I think it's best to go get yourself an Elf Cross, so this whole scenario can be avoided in the future.

Bill Stankus said...

No. 5 ... total rationalization. The AA police are on their way.

Edie Schmidt said...

Ah yes, I believe that packer also has packed for me and in my state of disbelief and horror (when realizing that my underwear was missing from my suitcase) I had a knee jerk reaction and asked my benevolent dictator (husband) to go purchase some along with a forgotten tooth brush etc. etc. Upon his return I realized that he had no idea what size I was nor what kind of underwear I wore??? I open the package to find that he evidently stopped by a circus and purchased the largest size! (I am a size 6 if facts have to be known.)
Enjoyed your blog very much!

julochka said...

bill--nuh-uh (as my sister would say) (heehee)

edie--sadly, i had no one to send, and no one to blame, tho' i think extranjera might be right that the cleaning girl took my toothbrush (and probably used it to scrub the grout)....and she seems so nice too....

Hit 40 said...

Maybe she doesn't brush her teeth? Or change her underwear.

I bet this bag was packed perfect for her!!!

Maybe the knitting needles were for protection? The folks on the plane on 9/11 could have used some knitting needles. The cleaning lady is just worried about you.

You are obviously too harsh on your employee. Give her a raise. LMAO!!

Kamana said...

does your hotel not provide toothbrushes?

knitting needles!!!

are you sure its just lattes you are having? ;)

Polly said...

sounds like she's getting you into trouble in all the right ways! I wish she was at work in my life too...

I've only now realised how your followers numbers skyrocketed after the BoN event... GOSH! and it makes me feel good to know that I'd known you in your pre-BoN era, somehow it makes it feel special

Kim Hightower said...

LMAO! I mean seriously, who IS this woman and what is her deal? Maybe you should keep some of these items in your purse, just in case! You never know! ;-)

Amanda said...

Really, who IS this woman? Is your bag too small and that's why you forget things? Maybe you're too busy up in your head to remember the little things (that's what I blame that stuff on!)