can yarn hold laughter?

i went to the yarn shop the other day for some glittery yarn to use in the weft of my reputation tea towels. i saw a vest that looked easy and ended up buying two colorways of yarn for knitting it (the yellow and the pink you can see in this basket). i started the yellow one the other night. i'm still a beginner and i have this habit of forgetting how to purl if i haven't done it for awhile. even looking at this picture, i can see some mistakes. 

i took it to the knitting/weaving group last evening. i admitted that i had forgotten how to purl. the lovely ladies laughed at me, and then they helped me. and they loved the colors i had chosen. we laughed a lot while i relearned how to purl and i hope that all that laughter got knitted right into my vest. the idea of that appeals to me. i want to feel that laughter when i wear the vest. 

 

good bones

my sister is back home at our parents' house. these days it belongs to her. she had rented it out for the past few years. the people who lived there tore out all the horrible carpet that was everywhere, including on the stairs. i always wondered if there wasn't some nice wood floors underneath all that 80s pile. and it seems there was. 

it's weird to see this room empty and the blinds open. my mother weirdly kept the blinds closed and that room was always so dark. i think she thought she was protecting the furniture from the sunlight. the wallpaper is the same wallpaper my mom put up years ago. it's not too bad, though generally, i have realized that my mom didn't have very good taste. 

my sister is thinking about making a big change in her life and moving back there. i find it comforting to think of her living in our childhood home. sanding and polishing those floors. and bringing it to life again. the house has good bones and it saw our family through many good times. it must be good for many more. 

at the end of a long weekend

husband should be home from his trip to ukraine in a few hours. i picked some roses and brought them in an attempt to have some serenity on the window sill that i haven't necessarily felt for the past week, worrying about him being only 30km from the front in eastern ukraine. that said, i am really looking forward to hearing about his adventures. now that i'm quite sure he'll be home safely. 

we've had a four day weekend, thanks to all those awesome spring holidays in denmark. i spent most of it in the company of yarn. getting started on my reputation era tea towels, planning the next ones, visiting the linen weaving museum, starting a summer knitting project (see above yarn) or two. it will be a vest. i started the yellow one and i want to make a pink one too.

i also picked a lot of rhubarb and made 9 bottles of rhubarb & ginger cordial. and you can't even see that i've picked any rhubarb. husband will be happy, as he loves my homemade cordial and we were getting dangerously low. 

got to weaving on the reputation tea towels. i tried a looser weave on the first one. i won't really know how it is until it's washed, but i already decided that i want to do my usual tighter weave, i think it's what makes my tea towels the lovely fabric that they are. 

i also spent some time trying to figure out what to name these two. butter & toast? peach & cobbler? peachbottom & featherstone? maybe something ukrainian, to commemorate that i got them while husband was traveling there? hmm...stronti & cesia after chernobyl? gogol & viy? perhaps a little too much existentialist dread. they're so sweet and i'm so happy to have ducks again. they're safely in the old chicken enclosure where no fox can get them. 

it's nice to be in this space again, jotting down a few things i'd like to remember. while i count down the minutes until husband is safely home again. 

so much weaving ahead!

1989 - now i have the right colors for this one

same for midnights - i like this color palette

the color palette for red

going to play with a so-called color effect for speak now

 the color palette for debut is probably the one that's most my vibe

i worked on these for five hours today, though that included cataloging all of the colors i have now, so i can keep track for future projects and orders.

i have so much exciting weaving ahead.

plus, they look pretty, just as decor!

these are part of the records i'm keeping.

so pretty, i can't wait to weave them.

more eras in the making

this morning, i decided to start planning some of the future eras. i worked on speak now. i really should have listened to it while i worked on it, but since i'm not finished yet, i can still do that. i want to make some yarn windings (vikleprøver) to see how the colors play together. i have a long weekend, so there is still time to do that. 

i'm liking the vibe of this one and thinking already about what sort of design to work with. i want to try something new. maybe something with more regular stripes.

i put together the color palette for red as well. this assignment i've given myself is proving to be a great way of working with colors and listening to a lot of music. i'm not really a swiftie, but i have come to appreciate her work after the concert last summer. and her color palettes are great. 

these two are similar, so i've got to come up with a cool way to differentiate between them. luckily, the possibilities are endless when it comes to weaving. 

next up - reputation!

 

i've already spent more than 11 hours and i haven't even started weaving on the reputation era. that sounds like a insane amount of time. but it doesn't feel like that at all. i guess that's what flow is about. 

this time, i'm looking to create a more graphic look. and i want it to look like the black & white of the type in a newspaper in some of the fields, to echo the album. i had to add a sparkly thread to the solid black panels as a nod to the reputation bodysuits.

the warp itself is black, grey and white, but i will create some dark green or red horizontal stripes, as an accent that also echoes the bodysuit and the bodysuit that wasn't (the green one that swifties kept expecting). i bought some threads with some small gold sequins as well for extra sparkle in my weft.

i do love this process and i feel like i'm getting better at it with each warp. setting up takes a long time, but i do enjoy every step of it. 

this morning, i was all ready to bind it up, check all the connections and get started. a few had broken (the cords connecting the shafts and the pedals), so it took some time to replace them. i have the old fashioned-style cords, not the newer polyester ones. they're easier to use, but there's something that feels more authentic to me about the cords. they've been good enough for my loom for around 80 years. maybe one day, i'll switch them out, but for now, i'm happy to be learning how to work with the traditional kind. 

i wove a little bit to get started before we decided to visit the linen weaving museum over on fyn. i needed to do something cultural to get my mind off husband driving around ukraine.  we got there just in time to join a tour with one of the docents. she told such great stories, i really enjoyed it. 

yarn porn

i got my latest order of weaving yarn from kinna's today. ordering from them really tries my patience, as it takes them at least a week to even indicate that they've noticed one's order and then another week or so to send the invoice so you can pay it. why not actually have an online payment as if you're in the 21st century? but i digress. look at all this goodness! i think i can do most of the eras now, though i need to restock black, white and some grey because of TTPD, after running the reputation warp (again, more about that soon, i promise). i also got an idea, looking at this picture, for a warp that's cream and that hot pinkish orange color. but that's not really one of the eras, so i'll try to stay focused. or maybe i need another loom. 

i sorted it all into boxes, more or less in color families. that was weirdly soothing. and goodness knows i need some soothing, what with worrying about husband driving all over the place in ukraine, only 30km from the front. 

i'll be able to do another rainbow warp as well with all these colors. it seems everyone i've given some of those to wants more. 

these remind me of my old blue room! i'm looking forward to working with them. 

i'll play around on this long weekend (we have four days off!) with some of the colors, preparing some yarn windings for more of the eras. tomorrow, my friend and weaving teacher is coming over to help me get started on my more graphic warp. i'm trying to learn something new every time. i think what i mostly learn from the loom is patience! 

i couldn't resist the way the sunshine fell on this jar of yarn clippings i've been saving. i want to do a rather fiddly project with them, but i need enough of them. and maybe a bit more patience.

the lover era - tea towel stylie

my lover era tea towels are finished. i got 13 of them from the warp, plus two pieces of fabric that i can make into small makeup or accessory bags. i'm very pleased with the result and the touch of sparkle turned out great, though it doesn't photograph well. 

i've already embarked on the next era - reputation. i'm starting it in hopes that the clowning for reputation tv is actually true this time. and also because i had the right colors for what i want to do.  more about that in another post.

someone came yesterday to buy the last two kittens and she contacted me today to ask if she could buy some of these. i'm going to try to have enough to take to a market in september, so i'm not sure, but i love that she asked. 

i learn something new from every warp i weave. and i sit at the loom and think about all the cloth that's been woven on it. it originally belonged to cis fink, a renowned danish weaving teacher from aabenraa and then my own weaving teacher, emmy, wove many a meter of cloth on it for 50-some years before passing it along to me. i cannot help but think of how much more it knows than i do. and how patient it is with me. 

i can already tell that i somehow must find a way to get a set of these tea towels to taylor swift herself. i have time to figure that out. there are only 11 eras to go. 

 

of bravery and other admirable things

i might have previously mentioned that husband is a keeper. that continues to be true. tomorrow morning, he's headed for ukraine with three others. they are delivering a truck and trailer load of humanitarian aid, as well as three cars that have been donated by the danish geo data authorities. i'm so proud of him and also pretty nervous. one of the vehicles needs to be delivered pretty far east. and husband will be driving that one. i love his bravery. and how he is willing to take action for a cause he believes in. i'm thinking it won't hurt to say a little prayer for his safety, even i'm not all that religious. might be worth a try. 

what a weekend

what a weekend. full of deep, meaningful experiences. great conversations. tears and laughter. a bit of time in the garden. lots of sunshine. clean sheets. sushi for dinner. quite a lot of creativity. the lilacs are in bloom. the first asparagus is up. the beech trees have that special spring color of green. life doesn't actually get much better than this. live intensely. tell people what they mean to you. spend time with them. and don't let the petty shit have any more importance than it deserves (and it doesn't deserve any). i needed that lesson and i got it this weekend. in spades. let's hope it sticks.

a most meaningful act of creativity

when my friend messaged last evening, asking me to come and consult on her painting project, i didn't realize that she would want me to help with the painting of her sister's coffin. i thought i was only consulting on the placement of what she would paint on it. it seemed like such a personal project, that i didn't even dare to ask if she wanted me to help with the actual painting. when i arrived today, we talked about the flowers she had done the evening before. they were quite unlike her - she actually went to the art academy and she's a very good painter. the flowers that were already on the coffin didn't look like her at all.  they seemed too deliberate and almost a bit childlike and stiff. (the flowers below are not those.)

her sister was diagnosed with an incurable brain tumor two and a half years ago. at that time, they gave her about a year. she's already lived much longer than expected, but the tumor has grown dramatically in recent weeks and now it's only a matter of time. she requested that my friend paint bright, happy flowers on her coffin and of course my friend wanted to comply. but this is an almost impossibly difficult request. and that's why the flowers she did seemed so cramped and restrained. it is so much to ask. really too much to ask. so many emotions are involved, it's nearly impossible to let go and enter the flow needed to create the perfect flowers on the last resting place of your closest sister. just writing it almost takes my breath away.

i also know her sister and feel absolutely horrible that she's leaving her family far too early. but i could see how we could achieve the flowers and i could see what an act of love, and yes, even therapy it would be to do it. and so, after dancing around it a bit, we both mentioned at nearly the same time, that maybe i could help paint them. and so i did. we spent nine hours painting flowers on her sister's coffin. we are very pleased with the result. i can't show the final version here yet, as it feels wrong to show it before the funeral, but i will show it when the time is more appropriate. but i am so grateful to have been part of this project. 

it was such an emotional day. it's very sobering to stand before an empty casket, knowing that soon it will contain a beloved sister and daughter. and feeling the solemn responsibility of fulfilling her wish that it would be decorated with cheerful, colorful flowers. we shed more than a few tears. but we also laughed a lot and honestly, it sounds strange to say, but it was a truly wonderful day. we achieved a really lovely result and we did it together with so much love and laughter. it was like the most cleansing, intense therapy session ever. it's a day i will never forget. and i'm so grateful that i got to be a part of it. 

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i loved reading this. 

 

love your people, people

picture to convey more serenity than i feel

just like in the old days, i turn to this space to write and figure out what i think about things. i had a rather crappy day today, though it had overall been a great week. it was one of those weeks where a project looks pretty rocky on monday and you wonder if it's going to collapse into chaos, and then it begins to resolve and all the things that were swirling around start to fall into place. and by the end of the week, it's taking shape and it looks even better than you imagined. honestly, i love that.

but in the midst of that, i was struck by one of those moments that hit me hard - a situation where i feel like i'm disrespected or somehow on the outside, that i just don't belong and my contribution isn't appreciated or understood. i am SO triggered by such moments. even though i honestly hate that word triggered...we're all triggered these days and we all need a diagnosis of some sort (insert eye roll emoji). 

i have a male colleague (of course it's a he) who is treating me in a condescending, sexist and possibly ageist way. and even though i can clearly see that it's to cover his own mistakes and not admit any fault, i let it ruin my day. and of course, it all took place on email, which is where all the worst corporate bullshit happens. and frankly, it's all bullshit.

and even as i know that, i still couldn't help but be carried away by the emotions that that trigger...well...triggers in me. i stood apart from myself in the moment, even as i fought the tears that welled up in my eyes, and said, "seriously, WTF? why do you let this situation that doesn't mean anything in the scheme of things get to you like this?" and yet it still did. and there wasn't a damn thing i could do about it, even though i could see it for what it was.

and then, when i got home and complained to husband and to my sister and realized how ridiculous and petty and unnecessary it all sounded, i got a message from a good friend. she needs me tomorrow to help her paint her dying sister's coffin. and suddenly, it all receded into the proper perspective. it doesn't matter. what matters is holding your loved ones near and being there for the people who matter. and the sexist, thoughtless, own-ass-covering jerks at work can take a hike. 

currently

i am home alone.

it is blissful, but also a little bit quiet.

it's warm enough outside to have the windows open and it's 9:30 p.m.

spring is springing.

i'm listening to a half-terrible cozy ghost/mystery series.

sometimes that's just what i need.

i had a creative brain day.

it's kind of exhausting.

but also wonderful.

and also just what i needed.

husband is in amsterdam.

the child is back in phoenix (for the moment). 

it's just me and olga up here in the quiet bedroom.

i bought new sheets and a new duvet cover at ikea on my way home.

new sheets are transformative.

knitting an organic cotton sophie scarf. my 9th.

it's the perfect activity for the aforementioned half-terrible cozy mystery.

and for quieting a brain that worked overtime today.

a new hummingbird tattoo!

when i was in arizona, sabin and i went to our favorite tattoo artist, lolo, to get a new tattoo. we wanted to match, but not be completely matching. we wanted something to remind us of arizona, since we share a lot of experiences there and we both went to arizona state.

we chose a hummingbird and lolo created one for us that would look great both in color and as a black line tattoo. i love color and sabin loves black lines.

when we arrived, we weren't sure where we wanted to place the tattoo. it turned out that we could actually place it in the same spot on our right arms, which wasn't our plan. but it just felt so right!

so cool and so meaningful, not to mention beautiful! what a great experience! 

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i just posted over on substack.