uncommon gifts for an uncommon wedding

we're attending husband's cousin's wedding in a few weeks. it's a part of the family i've never met, so i don't know the happy couple at all. all i know is from the informal invitation we received. i guess when couples are older, they dispense with the usual formalities, so, in this photocopied missive, we've been asked to dress casually and bring our own meat for grilling. and although they said that bringing a gift is not a requirement, they did include a little wish list. well, thinking that it's only right to bring a gift when attending a wedding, but balking at the desired gift card to H&M or a microwave, i went in search of more creative options for the happy couple. it was then that i came across uncommon goods. it's a pretty cool site - they work with individual artists and craftspeople and small producers to source unique gift items, which they then send directly to your door, bypassing that whole getting dressed in proper clothing and leaving the house thing.

here are some ideas for the wedding gift...

should it be this beautiful blue bowl with a felt jacket made by ontario artist melissa schooley? 

or this whimsical little rowboat salad bowl? 

or this fabulous pitcher that keeps your white wine cold without watering it down 

(ok, that one might be more up my alley than theirs, i'll admit).

this set of rainbow bright wine glasses would be awesome with that pitcher. 

maybe this sweet little elephant necklace would remind the bride of her african home. ok, i realize that's not a great wedding present since it's only for the bride, but that gift card for H&M request threw me off a bit.

maybe this three pillow set would be more appropriate?

i can't really decide - which would you choose?

or would you choose something else entirely?

i know it sounds weird, me throwing this out there like this,

but honestly, you guys know them as well as i do.

and while i was there, i fell a little bit in love with the shower squid. i think i might just have to have one for our shower. sometimes you don't know that you really need something until you see it.

how do you resist the borg?

every year, i bristle at the tyranny of the gift list in denmark and every year, i swallow and succumb to it. they're like the borg*. and i've even become so assimilated that i passed along my child's gift list, including a bunch of links, to my sister in the states. much to her quite understandable dismay. the child, now a teenager, is hard to buy for and only likes very specific things. so that's why i passed along the list this year. but i'll admit that i hate it. with a passion. and i feel i should be raising her better than that. and i'm disappointed in myself for sending the list. i think i'm pretty much completely failing as a parent because of this.

i hate as well that i've been given a gift list for our nephews (not my sister's children) and i've gone out dutifully, if grudgingly, and purchased the desired items. and i didn't enjoy it. and i won't enjoy giving those gifts. because it's just a sterile transaction, it didn't require any thought on my part and it didn't require that i knew anything about them, nor will it evoke any delight in me to watch them open the item from their list. there's no surprise or moment of excitement on either side of the transaction. it's just that, a transaction. and i have to say that i think it really sucks. it's hollow and consumerist and well, lame. and every year i vow i won't do it.  and yet here i am once again, going through the expected motions. cultural norms are hard to resist. and i am apparently far too weak in the face of them.

actual meaningful gift which i made for my dad last year for christmas.
i imagine mom is snuggled up under it right now and that makes me happy.

but i realize that this gift thing isn't about me. it's about the receiver. but i have to wonder if they really appreciate just automatically getting the things they asked for. where is the delight? the surprise? the joy? i suspect it's absent on their side as well. case in point? i made the blanket above for my dad for christmas last year and he loved it. and it was not something he asked for. but it was perfect for him and it was handmade, so score all around.

but back to the tyranny of the danish gift list...now that christmas doesn't really mean what it once meant, but is just a consumerist holiday and we are living in a society that equates needs and wants and just buys whatever we think we need when we need it, rather than waiting to receive things as gifts, do we really need this gift charade?

i've said previously that i'd much rather stumble across something in the course of the year and give it to the person in question, out of the blue. but do i act on that? no, i haven't. but maybe i should start. maybe 2015 will be when i start.

*star trek: the next generation reference. get it or get over it.

and on another note, ikea hacks

and to sort of smooth over my earlier ranty post, i thought i'd share something bright and cheery. i had some fun embellishing some ikea pillow covers for the big girls for christmas and now i can share them, since they've been given. i added felt circles to these simple linen covers for k's couch at her new apartment. the pillows have colorful printed circles on them already, which i just covered with the felt, sewing a simple line down the middle, so they have a bit of dimension to them.

and i added thick black felt details - mustaches and an m for mathilde to these cute rainbow covers. i didn't get as much handmade done this year as i wanted (do i ever?), due to paralysis induced by waiting to hear about my new job (i got it, you know, so the paralysis is over), but i did manage a little bit and that makes me happy. there's always next year.

* * *

creative amazon reviewers strike again.

this time, hilariously reviewing a book called how to avoid huge ships.

the best one is from the point of view of a rock,
it's by jamie and is about the 5th one down.

all wrapped up

professional wrapping job by the sweet guy in the shop in germany.

he said he'd studied wrapping for 5 years.

it's so beautiful, we're thinking about not opening it at all.

i am not known for my wrapping skills.

but using my own little felted acorns and keeping it simple

with silver and gold-toned kraft paper, string and a few little aspen cones,

i think i've finally managed a wrapping job i don't have to be ashamed of.

this acorn cap, i experimented using purchased felted balls. 

they were a bit too big.

i'm so glad i gathered these little cones and acorn caps

out in the yard while they were there.

it's about time i grew up and learned to wrap.

i'm so proud of sabin.

she put together totally handmade presents for her friends.

she made the boxes, filled them with wood shavings from far's workshop.

and she made homemade body scrubs, body butter and lip balms.

a couple of my homemade honey soaps

and these are little pamper kits fit for teen divas.

we're even going handmade for the cats.

these felted toys have bells inside.

about time they had some felted things they're allowed to play with.

they've been hard on the bobbaloos.

tomorrow it's christmas in denmark.

it'll be just the three of us.

we're going to bake cookies, watch home alone, eat some good food.

and then open presents in the evening.

hopefully, husband will finish the chimney so we can use our new wood-burning stove.

on the 25th, otherwise known as real christmas,

husband's big girls will come, as well as his danish sister and her family.

we'll have turkey and all the fixings, according to my traditions.

modified for my location, of course.

in that our turkey came from the danish butcher stuffed with minced pork and cream.

it's a lovely bird and i can't wait to see how it will turn out.

merry christmas, one and all!

may your loved ones be close, the wine be plentiful and your stocking full of goodies.

just listed in my shop

i participated in a christmas market on sunday. it wasn't nearly as much fun as last summer's farmer's market (which oddly enough, i utterly failed to write about), even tho' we nearly were blown away that day. people weren't really in a buying mood (i've noticed this before in denmark, especially where handmade things are concerned), so i have a few items left over (there are more in addition to those pictured above, they are just a little sampler). i've just listed them in my long-neglected shop (i even rather ambitiously redesigned the whole thing). so, please do stop by and have a look. handmade is the very best way to say "i care about you" to those you love at christmas. i know it's how i'm going to show my love to those around me. thank you for looking!

a beautiful handmade wooden airplane

we were invited to a 70th birthday party on saturday at our neighbor's house. he's become a good friend and so we wanted to give him something more special than the standard three bottles of wine in a gift box. since he had been a commercial pilot for SAS for years, i suggested to husband that he try to fashion an airplane out of driftwood. we looked through our driftwood collection and didn't find a piece that whispered airplane to us. so husband turned to the firewood pile and found a piece of birch that was just right. he sanded and smoothed and attached oak wings and tail fins (i'm suddenly in doubt that that's what they're called). i was planning on painting some stripes and call letters on it, but it was so beautiful and pristine in its naked glory that we left it. but now, at least, i can say that i've given a meaningful gift.

30 days of lists: day 10

this one freaked me out a bit. we were also supposed to list meaningful gifts we'd given and i couldn't think of a single one. i fear we have come to such a point in the gift giving race that i cannot think of a single meaningful gift that i have given. it makes me sad. is it because we buy stuff for ourselves and we never look forward to anything or need anything? or is it due to the tyranny of the gift list in this country? have i really never given a meaningful gift to anyone? i'll have to remedy that.

gifts for no reason

the past week has brought a number of lovely surprises to my door. my sister's visit wasn't a surprise as we had long been planning it. what was a surprise was that she came bearing an iPad mini and a super cute owl case just for me! (THANK YOU!) it's a bit hard keeping all of the other mitts in this household off of it. i foresee another one (or two) in our near future.

on the day my family arrived, the mailman knocked on the door. he had a little square package and a pretty flat red one. we had recently ordered alfie the jacabob from the fabulous kit lane and i thought it was that. turns out the package was from kit, but inside was a little jar of liquid sunshine in the form of orange jam from the juice of oranges from the family tree (orange tree that is) in warmer climes. in the midst of the longest, most lingering winter ever, it was a very welcome surprise. and again I had a hard time keeping everyone else's mitts off of it around here. but then again, we all had need of a bit of sweet sunshine. thank you, kit! as you can see, alfie made it safe and sound as well.

the last package was from sweet tracy in south carolina. she knows of my delight in helene hanff's 84 charing cross road book and sent me the equally delightful memoir Q's Legacy, along with a to do list tablet. tracy, you know me well, thank you! i've already finished the book, tho' i tried to make myself read it slowly, it just didn't work. i so wish i had known helene in real life and been able to hang out with her. she's charming and witty and positive - everything i need in my life!

i have to say that out-of-the-blue gifts, the kind that come just for no reason, other than to indicate that you're thinking of someone are way better, in my book, than christmas and birthday gifts. thank you all for making my day (and my week and possibly even my whole month!).

flashback art

a friend made this for me for christmas in 1991 or 1992 (i can't quite remember which). she collaged together all kinds of clippings of my favorite (or in some cases least favorite) things from the news magazines of the era, then cut out my name a million times and laminated it all together (she knew me well).  included are the clintons, gorbachev, madonna, marilyn monroe, things russian and for a least favorite - a bit of dan quayle. remember when he was the scariest politician going? i think even to his running mate, bush the elder. he seems so harmless now with his inability to spell potato. maybe it all went downhill from there. he was the beginning of the end of people with a brain on the republican ticket.

i've carried it with me ever since, this very personal piece of art (art-icle?). i spent quite some time looking at it today - it's literally laden with meaning - meaning that's really only truly accessible to me.

could a gift be any better than that?

resisting...

it seems that during the christmas season there are many pressures. a whirlwind of gifts and relatives and friends and food and cookies. and you either succumb to the pressures and dash around like a madwoman, trying to get that perfect last-minute present, the last ingredients for the perfect christmas dinner, the most beautiful centerpiece for your christmas table, or you resist all of that.

this year, i'm resisting. for the most part, we have what we need, so we're not going mad with presents (if you don't count the small fortune i spent on new clothes for sabin in noa noa). we've just had our weekend of julefrokosts, so the family and friends bit is mostly behind us. we've been baking for the past week, so we've got a supply of christmas cookies laid in. those lovely people who bring my weekly organic box also brought an organic duck and a big, beautiful pork roast (both essential ingredients in the danish christmas dinner), so we're set as far as the food is concerned. i bought some hyacinths and i'm making my own table centerpiece. so the resisting is going well so far. and in fact, i've even managed to resist  some other stuff:

~  christmas cards - i really don't do christmas cards. this isn't a new resistance, i've basically never done christmas cards. i always find those letters, outlining all of the achievements of the family over the past year and with overly sentimental and possibly hollow wishes for you to have a successful new year (so that your christmas letter next year can too be filled with glowing reports of little johnny's early acceptance to harvard and the like), to be...well...a bit braggy and ultimately empty. there, i said it. maybe i'm scrooge, but i don't want to send out such a letter and honestly, nor do i want to receive them. which isn't to say that i don't appreciate the sentiment behind the cards i receive (which are fewer and fewer each year, as people realize we don't send them back and put us in their grudge books), but i'm not willing able to reciprocate. i just don't have it in me. maybe i'm just bad at polite gestures. (and spud, bambi and bee, i'm not talking about you here...i love that you sent cards, i just didn't send one back.)

~  teacher gifts - i've seen a lot of references of late to people frantically getting their teacher gifts ready to go. and i have to say that we are very fortunate that that's not the norm here in denmark. so no pressure to give an elaborate gift to the teacher to keep her well-disposed to the child. since we didn't HAVE to do it, we did give sabin's teacher (who we love) one of our sweet little birds. and the riding teacher that was leaving also got one. but it felt much better for the fact that we weren't obligated to do it.

crappy picture taken from great distance in dark church at high ISO and then cropped within an inch of its life.

~  nativity chic - spud wrote not long ago about the nativity chic craze sweeping the UK. it sounded like utter madness - people spending up to 150£ on costumes for their child's appearance in the yearly nativity play. sabin was in a nativity play too and all it meant was that we had to roll out of bed rather early on sunday morning. sabin was one of the lesser-known characters - the christmas heart (julehjertet) - and all costumes were provided by the church. on this one, i'll admit i would like to have made an elaborate and much more fabulous costume for her myself, but i am grateful that the setup itself made it easy for me to resist this.

~ keeping up with the joneses hansens - we met a group of new people yesterday at a little christmas afternoon gathering at some friends of ours. there were three other couples there, all chatting and open and really nice (rather pleasantly undanish of them, actually, tho' all were danes). they were talking about trips taken and trips on the horizon. skiing in france just after christmas. a tour around thailand. visits to shanghai for mad shopping sprees. and it surprised me that i didn't feel any need at all to compete. i don't feel the least bit bad that we're going to be home this christmas, with our own crackling fire and the smells of duck roasting in the oven. i like to ski, but honestly, traipsing to france when the snow is beautiful here at home just doesn't appeal. and so i realized that all of that thinking about simplicity is working. i'll admit that maybe i've also reached a place where i'm comfortable in the knowledge of all the places i've traveled and don't feel any pressure to prove anything. and i realize that makes it much easier.

husband's older daughters were here this weekend and they had a lengthy conversation with their mother over what some or other cousin wanted for christmas. they couldn't remember and couldn't really think of anything original to get for the cousin. so they settled upon a gift card to a shop that has perfume and makeup, so that the cousin could buy what she wanted. and it really underlined for me how out of control the gift thing has become. we're giving gifts because we feel obligated to do so. and far too many people don't put any thought into it - they just ask for a list from the person and get them exactly what's on the list. we far too often just go buy the things we like and think we need, leaving there to be nothing we really wish for when christmas comes. and i think that takes the fun out of it for both giver and receiver. how much fun is it to open your gifts when you know what's in them? and it becomes more drudgery than fun to shop for gifts when you're just going down a pre-determined list.

i want to return to a place where gifts are meaningful. where i give because i found or made something that i know is perfect for that person. i'd rather gives less gifts that have more meaning and i definitely don't want to give some lame gift certificate because i can't be bothered to think of something proper to give. if you don't know the person well enough to be able to know what they'd like, then maybe you have no business giving them a gift in the first place? i really think we've come to a bad place in our evolution when gifts have become an obligation. the whole idea of gifts is lost if that's the case.

dismounts from soap box....

i hope that your christmas season is filled with love and laughter and good food and crackling fireplaces and time spent with people you love.