Sunday, April 28, 2013

dabbling


just catching up on my blog reader (in flipboard, still thru google reader, while it lasts)...also writing this on the iPad mini my sis gave to me (how fabulous is she?)...and having this sinking feeling, as i read blogs i subscribed to ages ago, that i do not sufficiently stick with the things that i try...whether stitching or dyeing or felting or sewing or quilting or whatever....i am a dabbler. it means that while bloggers i long ago followed continue to share their particular area of interest, ever more honed and refined, ever evolving, their techniques more and more beautiful, i dabble and never get any better at anything, continuously flitting from one thing to the next.

what holds me back, prevents me from embracing a thing that is me? or even figuring out what it might be? i'm honestly not sure. it's surely bound up in all kinds of unutterable fears - of failure, of success, of exhausting ideas, of never having another one again, of being derivative, of being unique, of critique, of praise, of it becoming humdrum and boring (hmm, seems i could utter a few of those fears after all).

there are a few things i stick with - breathing, writing, taking photos and cooking. with cooking, i've slogged through a recent slump, cooking daily anyway, despite not feeling like it. at all. i suppose on that front, i'm driven largely by hunger. but it's the same with daily photos - i'm not always inspired to take one, but i persevere anyway, always finding something to notice and photograph. but even there, i don't think i've pushed my photography forward in any meaningful way in a long time.

where do people find their motivation? their dedication? their confidence? their belief? their dogged persistence? their spark?

i don't really have trouble at all finding sparks, it's more that i find too many of them. i am an ideas person. i love new ideas and spending time with people who give me new ideas.  i love thinking of new ideas, but i also love letting go of them again and moving on to a new one. and that doesn't lend itself very well to developing a craft. or a job. or a business. because those take persistently and consistently developing and pushing the ideas further and further. and that's what i admire about so many of the blogs in my reader - the ability their creators have to keep working on their ideas, pushing them further, honing them and polishing them and perfecting them.

maybe my thing is initiating ideas and i need to do a better job of passing them to people who will nurture them. i don't think that i ever need worry about running out. now, to turn that into a viable business...

* * *

perhaps i should just go read this article on finding fulfilling work.

5 comments:

celkalee said...

I understand, I call myself a sprinter. Love the idea spark, the planning the plan, the beginning, then, not so much. While I have a specific passion, I still 'try on' other crafts. You are a brilliant photographer, please know that. Finding the passion isn't hard, deciding where to take it is the challenge. To see what you see, how you see it and and share it is truly a talent.

Veronica Roth said...

I'm just like you Julie so don't worry. That's what comes from having an unlimited imagination. I think I'd be bored stiff and completely depressed if I were to stick with only one creative venue. Can't do it. Besides, the depression is a major threat to me and sets in far too easily. So just forget the mastering of one and be an inspiration of many. :)

Slippity said...

Ditto. Thank you for saying it.

heidikins said...

"maybe my thing is initiating ideas and i need to do a better job of passing them to people who will nurture them. i don't think that i ever need worry about running out. now, to turn that into a viable business..."

I think they call that a consultant. :)

xox

Melinda Hunt said...

You are a renaissance soul. You don't need to choose and hone one thing (although I totally understand the feeling of wanting that). The beauty of what you do is IN your ideas - that IS your creativity - the way you think and write about them, and the way you photograph them. There is a reason I come back to your blog even if it's not as often as I'd like - you make me think - your ideas inspire me - and the way you see the world.