Tuesday, September 14, 2004

of omens & destiny

Just read Paulo Coehlo's The Alchemist and so the notions of following one's destiny, listening to one's heart and reading the omens are weighing heavily on me. Especially as I am potentially about to have to make a decision about a job offer. A job which will potentially change our lifestyle significantly--longer hours, less time with Sabin, leaving early every morning and coming home late every evening. I'll be one of those people whose weekends mean the world to them. However, it's potentially worth it--an awesome company and unlimited potential for the future.

I'll admit that I'm having trouble hearing what my heart says about it. My mind tumbles with thoughts...was I fired so that I would be open to this particular opportunity? Is this the path I'm being guided to? What is the right thing to do for me and for my family? Is this the right job for me or do I think it is because I need a job? Am I too dazzled by the prestige of the company itself? Will life still be enjoyable? What should I do? The noise of all those questions in my head is so loud that right now, I can't read the omens or hear what my heart might be saying to me.

Part of that is to do with the interview process itself. Three grueling interviews over several weeks with a total of ten different people involved. I am wiped out by that process and so I don't feel that I can adequately think about it and sort it all out yet.

I'm going to go do yoga, clear my head and be alert to omens for the rest of the day. And hope for an offer. Knowing exactly what they're offering might help clear away some of the confusion.

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