unnecessary snobbery

there's something i've never really understood.

it's best explained at the neiman marcus makeup counter. you approach, looking to buy the latest trendy chanel nail polish or perhaps some shu uemura mascara or maybe even some hermes perfume. and although you are the customer, the heavily-made-up/coiffed sales girl behind the counter haughtily looks you over and disdainfully asks if she can help in a tone which indicates that despite her position BEHIND the counter instead of in front of it, she is superior - far superior - to you.

what is that about?

how is it that the person there working ostensibly to serve you can act like they're so much better than you? you're the one standing there with the money to buy the item, they're just handing it over. you'd think if they were so great, they'd be buying, not selling.

a much-improved matilde

i recently experienced something similar with the massage therapist we've been using on our horse. before matilde's first treatment, i had the opportunity to watch her working on another horse at the stable. there, i observed her condescendingly asking questions of the owner and then in a superior tone, telling the owner how it REALLY was with their horse. as i observed this, i already had a sinking feeling about her.

when she came to matilde, she also treated me in a very superior manner. without establishing whether i had any experience with horses, she treated me as if i not only knew nothing, but couldn't possibly know anything (i tend to want to interpret this as a xenophobic trait, but i think she's like that to everyone). i could see that even matilde didn't take to her. as she worked on her, matilde was tense, stomping her foot and on several occasions tried to mash her up against the wall (i silently said, "you go girl!") so it wasn't only me who got a bad vibe from her. in fairness, this was partially because matilde was in pain.

she suggested during matilde's treatment that she needed a chiropractic treatment and i have to admit that i was very skeptical, thinking she and the chiropractor had a deal where they recommended each other, to keep one another in business. but, as i wrote here, i went ahead and made an appointment and ended up loving the chiropractor, who was a real veterinarian.

the time came last week for matilde's second massage. the massage therapist was much warmer to me, as i had apparently established myself with her, likely by having used the chiropractor she recommended. i had several opportunities to demonstrate my knowledge of horses, but even as i did so, i was a little put out that i even felt i needed to prove myself to this snobby woman. matilde didn't relax with her until a good half an hour into the massage, so again, the horse showed herself to be a good judge of character (she took immediately to the chiropractor, so she can read people well).

the massage therapist asked to see the saddle we're using on matilde. it is, admittedly, not the world's best saddle. you don't buy an ansur or a stubben for a growing child, as much as you might like to. but it was a brand new saddle and sabin likes it and is comfortable in it. the chiropractor had told us she didn't think the saddle was the issue and thought the extra pad we had bought for it was a good solution until we were ready to invest in another saddle. but miss massage therapist was incredibly condescending and disdainful about it. in fact, she was downright insulting, telling me that i had better not even try to sell it, as that would be completely wrong of me, since it was the worst "riding school crap" she'd ever seen. yes, she really said that to her customer.  and while i do tend to appreciate refreshing honesty, this went too far.

i went home and did some research about fitting of saddles and much of what she told me - about how much space should be between withers and the saddle and such was patently wrong. the more i think about the way she behaved, the more it makes me fume. why does this person, who i am paying to provide me with a service (and especially one that is arguably a luxury service of sorts), have to be such a condescending bitch?

i just don't understand it.

even tho' matilde is doing much better and is like a different horse, i think i'll be finding a different massage therapist for her next treatment.

an eye-opener

today was the day of the inaugural meeting of the artists' group that's being formed in my community. i decided last month to join and paid my 100DKK fee to be part of the group, but as the meeting approached, i felt less sure i wanted to go. however, i took hold of myself this morning, flat-ironed the hair and drove over to the meeting, artwork in hand for the photo for the local newspaper. it was one of those moments when you dress up a bit too much because it feels like the best way to feel psychologically prepared. so, on with my fave gap dress, funked up with electric blue tights, grey socks and purple furry boots--looking suitably arty, right? (why did i not have someone snap my picture--oh right, because they were all still asleep when i left.)

thankfully, i pulled up at the same time as a very nice, smiling older man who actually spoke to me (i actually wondered for a minute if he was danish--he was) and walked in together with him and ended up finding a chair and sitting next to him in the back of the already-crowded room. no one said hello (not that i expected them to). soon, the meeting got underway. strangely, it started off with a list of what the association wasn't, given by the presumed chairman of the board (she wasn't elected yet at that point). i found it a strangely negative tone to start off on, especially as it mainly consisted of a lot of whining and pushing away of responsibility by the board that wasn't even yet elected and foreseeing of problems caused by group members who weren't yet causing any trouble. i sat back and reminded myself to put on my anthropologist hat and just observe the natives in their natural habitat. they say that anytime there's a group of at least five danes, they will form an association of some sort, so i wanted to see this in action.

one of the most interesting and to me, incomprehensible, aspects of the meeting was the presence of what they called an "overstyrer." this seems to translate, as near as i could tell, as meeting nazi--as she rudely interrupted people, spoke in the most patronizing, agressive manner, only allowed grown adults to speak if they had raised their hands, cut them off and loudly answered "no" whenever the gentleman taking us through the by-laws point by point asked if there was any feedback--thereby preventing anyone from offering any feedback at several junctures. what was most strange is although this particular individual was not elected to the board, she ran the entire meeting, even closing it with a little speech that conveyed that she thought it was a room of small, dull children rather than grown-up adult, creative artists, most of whom were in their 50s and 60s. it was really quite astonishing as a cultural phenomenon. i'll admit i don't yet have my head around it.

i wasn't the only one astonished, as at the end, one of the older gentlemen--one of six in the room that i had decided really looked like an artist--called her on her patronizing speech. she didn't take it well and the other righteous women in the room rallied around her, so she didn't actually learn from it at all, which was a real shame.

however, there are good things about the group. it's cool to be part of a group of 68 artists that live in my community. there's going to be an "art route" on may 17, where the public can go around and visit the studios and workshops of all who want to participate. i signed up for that, as my studio is perhaps my main point of pride (other than the famous kitchen, of course, which i'm still a little giddy about) and it will give me the push i need to be ready for that (i'm a girl who needs an assignment). i think it can only do me good to meet artists and find sources of inspiration within my own community, rather than almost exclusively online (as much as i love and appreciate all of you).

i guess overall, what surprised me most is that i thought that a group of artists would be extremely open--open-minded and generally open as people, but quite the opposite was true. their views on the incorporation of the group were really very square and what i can only characterize as non-artistic in nature. at one point, several people wanted to exclude young people under 18 from joining (not that there were any there), but why should young artists not be welcome? i just really didn't get that and luckily one of the elder voices of reason spoke up on that point and it was voted down. there was a closedness that surprised me, tho' i suppose it shouldn't have in light of how denmark is in general. i just expected artists to be different. in all, i guess it was an interesting experience.

i'm curious to get to know some of the others and find out why they got involved. i think it could be a real eye-opener for me to learn that, because i'm beginning to think that it's not for the reasons i would have imagined.

sleep deprivation

i didn't sleep well last night. that happens sometimes. it's like i forget how to sleep. but it passes. when i get tired enough. my mind always goes a little wonky when i'm sleep deprived, but i suppose that's not unique. since i wouldn't want you to miss out, i thought i'd share some of the thoughts rants ramblings that have gone through my mind this afternoon:

1. i started yet another sewing project without finishing any of the others that i have started. i wonder if there are meds for this. it seems that what i like is cutting into the fabric, which is strange because my new sewing machine is wonderful and i love to sew with it.
2. i'm reading christian jungersen's the exception in the original danish--undtagelsen. and in telling amanda about it, and looking it up on amazon, i realized that i actually HAVE the book in english, so why am i slogging through the danish? the book came highly recommended by our best friends and i'm 82 pages in and hate all of the main characters. they're self-absorbed, righteous, and totally unappealing. how will i tell my friends? and how will i ever finish it? will i like them better (the characters, not the friends) if i switch to english?
3. if you check your flickr stats, your viewing goes WAY up on monday, after the weekend. that must mean there are a whole lot of people on flickr during work hours.
4. i wonder if there's a cocktail that goes with pancakes?
5. back to flickr. i am completely mystified as to what causes a picture to be popular because i think it has nothing to do with the quality of the actual photograph. case in point:  i discovered a group the other day called stick figures in peril. i thought that was such a hilarious idea that i dug out a picture of a stick figure in peril that i took several years ago in phuket. (goodness knows that if a stick figure is indeed going to find itself in peril, phuket is definitely where it will happen.)  and so i joined the group and posted it. that picture has had 593 views since i uploaded it on friday or was it saturday and has skyrocketed to my second most viewed photo behind the one that the moo people sent out in their december newsletter. and it's not even a very good picture, it's just funny. 

i think we all hope i get a good night's sleep and am back to normal tomorrow. whatever that is.