horse people are crazy

oh the joys of crazy horse people...

at the end of june, we found a buyer for matilde the wonder horse, as sabin has outgrown her and it was time for her to go to another family. the people seemed very nice and thus we agreed to an arrangement where they got to take matilde home for one week to try her out, whereafter they would make a first payment on her and then the second payment august 1. they wanted to see if she would get along with their other horses and if they liked her, which was ok with us if it meant finding the right home for her.

after one week, they had had shoes put on her and had nothing but gushing praise for her. she fit them like a glove, got along with their other two horses and was just their very dream of a pony. we were happy and they were happy. we truly thought we'd found a great home for her and that's what we had most hoped for. then, the time for the second payment rolled around and lo and behold there were suddenly a whole lot of very insurmountable problems with her hooves. we've always had shoes on her, but took them off last december when we brought her home and weren't going to be riding her. her hooves have a tendency to flake off around the edges, so she's a horse that rather needs shoes on. but there's not really anything wrong with them per se and she's never been lame. they needed work when they took her home and we recognized that, so i reduced the price by the cost of one shoeing.

now, i'm being bombarded with texts filled with ridiculous lengthy statements on how there are long-term problems with her hooves and one has a big bump on the side and how it will be months and months and perhaps never be able to be fixed. funny how the farrier she had there during that trial week never mentioned any of that when he put the shoes on her.

turns out they're using a vet that we know from sad experience is a real piece of work. misleading people into having unneeded x-rays and diagnosing dire problems that require loads and loads of veterinary visits on horses that don't actually have a problem. all for their own gain, because they know that horse people are gullible are completely batshit crazy will do anything for their animals. she also tried to tell me that matilde so badly needed her teeth floated that it cost extra (she had had it done by this vet), despite the fact that she'd had her teeth floated by a trustworthy vet less than a year ago and there was simply no way it could have been as bad as they told her.

luckily, at the beginning, before they took her home, we both signed a written contract which states that we know of no problems with the horse (which is the truth), but that there is no guarantee, as she is 15 and a living animal. so they will have to cough up the rest of the money or we will go get her. i really don't want to do that, as we'll just have to start this process all over again and chances are the next person will have just as much of a crazy horse person brain.

i'm still hopeful we'll work it out and that we can be happy that matilde found a good home (because it genuinely did seem like a good home). i just think it really sucks when a dishonest vet intervenes and causes trouble.

the start of the school year is hard

we're two weeks into the new school year and that includes school for matilde as well. she had the summer off, out on grass, being a horse. she thinks it's pretty hard to get back to work and as you can see, was feeling pretty sorry for herself by the end of today's lesson.

the child seems to be faring better. she's excited about school, having moved over to the "big" school, where they have grades 7-8-9. there are nearly 80 kids in the 7th grade and they're divided into 3 classes. they only officially found out today who will be in their class - they've had activities for the past two weeks that were designed to help the teachers determine the makeup of the classes. i think that's pretty cool and way less random than just shuffling them and throwing them together. our child is pleased with the result. she's with her two best friends and tho' that will surely change over the next couple of years (the friends, not the class, they claim the classes are now set through the 9th grade), it's a good thing right now. apparently, not everyone was pleased and there were tears, or so i could make out through the rather thinly veiled lecture given to parents by the school principal, who was clad in a dress that was an odd combination of strangely militant yet summery and inappropriately bare. and just to add confusion, it was also denim. she was clearly one of those specimens of angry danish woman of the kind who probably runs marathons and pumps iron (odd, i know, but she was weirdly muscley for a woman pushing 50 and yet had the stringy look of a runner about her). i imagine that the parents who had called the school that day after hearing from their bawling daughters during recess felt pretty guilty about having done that by the end of her talk. i was happy not to have been one of them. let's just say that i wouldn't want to meet her in a dark alley. tho' i'm pretty sure i could take her.

let's hope it doesn't come to that.

i have much more to say about the parents' meeting this evening (15 more things, to be exact, when i read the "to blog" notes i took), but i think i need to sleep on it a bit first.

happy weekend

i woke up with a headache

i woke up with a headache. i blame the abrupt shift in weather.

* * *

these photos were clearly taken before the weather changed...

the saddlemaker, who is actually a saddle fitter, is coming today, but already we think the used passier dressage saddle we're trying out is MUCH better than the other saddle we had. we'll see what she says about it tho'. who knew so many problems could be caused by the wrong saddle?

matilde is already quite fuzzy. i suppose she knows something we don't about the coming winter. and it doesn't bode well. 

* * *

thanks to my headache, i don't have much more, so i'm off to make potato leek soup to try to feel better so i'm coherent for the saddle fitter.

* * *

in the meantime, check out these:

the chef's garden

and the men-ups!

the agony of defeat

i grew up showing horses and ever since we got matilde, i've been hoping that sabin would want to show as well. she's having a private lesson on matilde once a week and is also part of a group lesson once a week, so she felt ready this weekend when her riding club hosted a show.

she normally rides in the indoor arena, so she got very nervous when she found out that she'd have to show outdoors. her nervousness grew when we saw that the arena was shortened down for the ponies using some of the jumps as a barrier. matilde LOVES to jump and when she sees jumps, she gets a bit hyper. top this off with the judge sitting in a black SUV down at the end of the arena, where there are normally no cars parked and the fact that she had no chance to take a walk around the arena to show matilde the perimeter and a severe case of the nerves set in. for both horse and rider. suffice it to say it wasn't an ideal first horse show experience and there were tears. pretty much all around.

and while i would have done just about anything to make sure her first experience was a good one, we do learn from everything that happens to us. and perhaps even more so from the bad experiences. and it could have been much worse - she didn't fall off, she just felt so nervous that she transmitted that to the horse (which is a learning experience as well) and went off pattern in her worry that she wasn't going to be able to prevent matilde from jumping the jumps they had used as the barrier (which thankfully matilde didn't do, tho' it looked for a minute like she was going to).

happily, late in the day, she wanted to saddle up and ride again with a friend (after declaring immediately after her class that she would never try to show again) and so we ended the day on a good note with her horse. today, one of the big girls from the riding school showed matilde in two jumping classes and got first in one and third place in the other - so sabin could feel proud of her horse and know that it was possible to show her successfully.

it's heart-breaking at times to be a parent. and i think that today we're especially protective of our children - trying to make everything easy for them and sheltering them from as much adversity as we can. i felt so terrible for sabin that it didn't go well on her first try in the show ring. i didn't necessarily expect her to win, but i thought she was ready. she had practiced her pattern dozens of times and knew it by heart. but we hadn't practiced outdoors - mostly since it's been raining pretty much steadily for at least the past two weeks. and when you're relying on an animal that has a mind of its own, you simply can't control everything. it was a hard lesson to learn, but i am sure she'll recover from it.  and maybe even be stronger for it. and perhaps i will be too.

pretty in purple

it's been a very busy day today, so there's only time for pretty pictures. and it was total coincidence that the shirt matched our new legwraps.

more soon....

unnecessary snobbery

there's something i've never really understood.

it's best explained at the neiman marcus makeup counter. you approach, looking to buy the latest trendy chanel nail polish or perhaps some shu uemura mascara or maybe even some hermes perfume. and although you are the customer, the heavily-made-up/coiffed sales girl behind the counter haughtily looks you over and disdainfully asks if she can help in a tone which indicates that despite her position BEHIND the counter instead of in front of it, she is superior - far superior - to you.

what is that about?

how is it that the person there working ostensibly to serve you can act like they're so much better than you? you're the one standing there with the money to buy the item, they're just handing it over. you'd think if they were so great, they'd be buying, not selling.

a much-improved matilde

i recently experienced something similar with the massage therapist we've been using on our horse. before matilde's first treatment, i had the opportunity to watch her working on another horse at the stable. there, i observed her condescendingly asking questions of the owner and then in a superior tone, telling the owner how it REALLY was with their horse. as i observed this, i already had a sinking feeling about her.

when she came to matilde, she also treated me in a very superior manner. without establishing whether i had any experience with horses, she treated me as if i not only knew nothing, but couldn't possibly know anything (i tend to want to interpret this as a xenophobic trait, but i think she's like that to everyone). i could see that even matilde didn't take to her. as she worked on her, matilde was tense, stomping her foot and on several occasions tried to mash her up against the wall (i silently said, "you go girl!") so it wasn't only me who got a bad vibe from her. in fairness, this was partially because matilde was in pain.

she suggested during matilde's treatment that she needed a chiropractic treatment and i have to admit that i was very skeptical, thinking she and the chiropractor had a deal where they recommended each other, to keep one another in business. but, as i wrote here, i went ahead and made an appointment and ended up loving the chiropractor, who was a real veterinarian.

the time came last week for matilde's second massage. the massage therapist was much warmer to me, as i had apparently established myself with her, likely by having used the chiropractor she recommended. i had several opportunities to demonstrate my knowledge of horses, but even as i did so, i was a little put out that i even felt i needed to prove myself to this snobby woman. matilde didn't relax with her until a good half an hour into the massage, so again, the horse showed herself to be a good judge of character (she took immediately to the chiropractor, so she can read people well).

the massage therapist asked to see the saddle we're using on matilde. it is, admittedly, not the world's best saddle. you don't buy an ansur or a stubben for a growing child, as much as you might like to. but it was a brand new saddle and sabin likes it and is comfortable in it. the chiropractor had told us she didn't think the saddle was the issue and thought the extra pad we had bought for it was a good solution until we were ready to invest in another saddle. but miss massage therapist was incredibly condescending and disdainful about it. in fact, she was downright insulting, telling me that i had better not even try to sell it, as that would be completely wrong of me, since it was the worst "riding school crap" she'd ever seen. yes, she really said that to her customer.  and while i do tend to appreciate refreshing honesty, this went too far.

i went home and did some research about fitting of saddles and much of what she told me - about how much space should be between withers and the saddle and such was patently wrong. the more i think about the way she behaved, the more it makes me fume. why does this person, who i am paying to provide me with a service (and especially one that is arguably a luxury service of sorts), have to be such a condescending bitch?

i just don't understand it.

even tho' matilde is doing much better and is like a different horse, i think i'll be finding a different massage therapist for her next treatment.

thankful thursday

 thankful for...

 modern equine medicine

 and alternative medicine

 massage and chiropractic treatments

that make the old horse seem like a new one.

for more thursday thankfulness, go see miss buckle.

modern equine methods

we moved our horse matilde a couple of weeks ago from the neighbor's place to one of the stables where sabin is taking riding lessons. she had developed a strange habit of carrying her head up and her neck in a very uncomfortable position and we wanted to be able to ride her more consistently (in an indoor arena) and we wanted others to be around to help out.

we knew this behavior wasn't normal for matilde. while frisky, she has been a lovely pony with a good way of carrying her head. a friend suggested when it began to get really bad that we have her teeth checked, so we did that. the vet came out with his big tooth-grinding machine and floated her teeth, tho' he did say he didn't think they were too bad. around here, people often get their horses' teeth floated once a year.

as you can see from the photos, things didn't really improve after the teeth were worked on. we began to wonder if her saddle was bothering her and in lieu of an expensive new saddle, we got a gel pad to place underneath and raise the saddle into a better position. sabin liked it better, but i'm not sure if matilde really noticed and she continued off the bit and with her head up in the air, making it difficult for sabin to control her and have a decent lesson on her. tho' sabin is admirably brave and doesn't get scared or thrown off.

a horse massage woman was coming to tend to some of the other horses at the stable (the advantage of being at a stable) and an appointment came available, so i decided we'd try it. matilde was visibly distressed by the massage on her right side (we'd already noticed she didn't like going to the right in the arena and on the lunge line) - stamping her foot and wiggling around, trying to mash the massage woman up against the wall. and the massage therapist suggested that we call the equine chiropractor.

it crossed my mind that the massage woman (who is a bit of a snob and was rather disdainful towards us and everyone else whose horses she treated) and the chiropractor were in league, but i could see that the horse was blocked on her right side - hardly wanting to turn her neck in that direction at all and so i swallowed my own preconceived notions about chiropractors (often people who couldn't manage to get into real medical school and not coming near my spine!) and called her. she was able to come already the next day.

meeting her, i was immediately put at ease. she was an actual veterinarian, specializing in chiropractic treatments, acupuncture and in floating teeth (will have her do it next time). matilde took to her immediately, looking curious and interested in her and was very much at ease and trusting of her (unlike how she was with the massage therapist). the chiropractor gently felt matilde's neck, did some gentle manipulations and stood up on a block to crack the top vertebrae - so gently that neither matilde nor i even noticed. but matilde was instantly relieved!

we got some exercises to do with matilde's neck and she's on the road to recovery. while it's not completely better yet - we have to retrain her neck muscles, after she was holding it wrong for months (we didn't realize!) - she's definitely better already.  she needs another massage or two, now that the bones are back in place. but things are going in the right direction and already the first time we rode her after the treatment, she was a different horse. sabin's instructor has suggested a laser treatment instead of another massage from the snotty horse massage woman and i'm going to try that this week.

i think of all of the horses i've had over the years and how there were probably all kinds of things we could have corrected with the right treatment rather than brute force and a severe bit. but we just didn't know any better. i'm really glad these treatments are available now. it's quite amazing to see what a difference it's already made. and it's really great to be around a community of really nice people who love horses - we've already learned so much and benefited a lot from being at the stable.

thinking about language

i just read a really interesting piece in the new york times on language. it's from the magazine, so it's a long, deep article (yes, there ARE still some bright spots on the american media landscape).  it discusses gender in various languages and also how different languages express concepts like time (chinese doesn't have verb tenses, for example, so everything happens in the infinitive) and space (an aboriginal language that expresses all directions using north-south-east-west) and a really interesting study on the correlation between how color is expressed in certain languages and how it affects ability to see the color spectrum) i won't recount all of it here, but encourage you to go and read it.

but reading it was well-timed, as i was just telling husband that i just couldn't get used to the way that danish refers to animals as "it," and doesn't use she/he pronouns for them. so, when i'm talking to someone, say the vet or the horseshoer, they refer to our matilde as "it." and it never ceases to be a rather jarring experience for me, because our matilde is a girl and should be called "she" when we refer to her using a pronoun. i feel it as cold and heartless. but interestingly, in danish, to refer to a person as she or he in their presence, rather than using their name, is considered rude. whereas that's perfectly polite in english. i wonder what matilde makes of being called "it?"