Monday, July 04, 2011

unnecessary snobbery

there's something i've never really understood.

it's best explained at the neiman marcus makeup counter. you approach, looking to buy the latest trendy chanel nail polish or perhaps some shu uemura mascara or maybe even some hermes perfume. and although you are the customer, the heavily-made-up/coiffed sales girl behind the counter haughtily looks you over and disdainfully asks if she can help in a tone which indicates that despite her position BEHIND the counter instead of in front of it, she is superior - far superior - to you.

what is that about?

how is it that the person there working ostensibly to serve you can act like they're so much better than you? you're the one standing there with the money to buy the item, they're just handing it over. you'd think if they were so great, they'd be buying, not selling.

29/6.2011 - like having a new horse
a much-improved matilde
i recently experienced something similar with the massage therapist we've been using on our horse. before matilde's first treatment, i had the opportunity to watch her working on another horse at the stable. there, i observed her condescendingly asking questions of the owner and then in a superior tone, telling the owner how it REALLY was with their horse. as i observed this, i already had a sinking feeling about her.

when she came to matilde, she also treated me in a very superior manner. without establishing whether i had any experience with horses, she treated me as if i not only knew nothing, but couldn't possibly know anything (i tend to want to interpret this as a xenophobic trait, but i think she's like that to everyone). i could see that even matilde didn't take to her. as she worked on her, matilde was tense, stomping her foot and on several occasions tried to mash her up against the wall (i silently said, "you go girl!") so it wasn't only me who got a bad vibe from her. in fairness, this was partially because matilde was in pain.

she suggested during matilde's treatment that she needed a chiropractic treatment and i have to admit that i was very skeptical, thinking she and the chiropractor had a deal where they recommended each other, to keep one another in business. but, as i wrote here, i went ahead and made an appointment and ended up loving the chiropractor, who was a real veterinarian.

the time came last week for matilde's second massage. the massage therapist was much warmer to me, as i had apparently established myself with her, likely by having used the chiropractor she recommended. i had several opportunities to demonstrate my knowledge of horses, but even as i did so, i was a little put out that i even felt i needed to prove myself to this snobby woman. matilde didn't relax with her until a good half an hour into the massage, so again, the horse showed herself to be a good judge of character (she took immediately to the chiropractor, so she can read people well).

the massage therapist asked to see the saddle we're using on matilde. it is, admittedly, not the world's best saddle. you don't buy an ansur or a stubben for a growing child, as much as you might like to. but it was a brand new saddle and sabin likes it and is comfortable in it. the chiropractor had told us she didn't think the saddle was the issue and thought the extra pad we had bought for it was a good solution until we were ready to invest in another saddle. but miss massage therapist was incredibly condescending and disdainful about it. in fact, she was downright insulting, telling me that i had better not even try to sell it, as that would be completely wrong of me, since it was the worst "riding school crap" she'd ever seen. yes, she really said that to her customer.  and while i do tend to appreciate refreshing honesty, this went too far.

i went home and did some research about fitting of saddles and much of what she told me - about how much space should be between withers and the saddle and such was patently wrong. the more i think about the way she behaved, the more it makes me fume. why does this person, who i am paying to provide me with a service (and especially one that is arguably a luxury service of sorts), have to be such a condescending bitch?

i just don't understand it.

even tho' matilde is doing much better and is like a different horse, i think i'll be finding a different massage therapist for her next treatment.


Barb said...

I, too, don't like being around those type of people. Maybe it's that they are really insecure about themselves and have a need to assert themselves as better than everyone else. Or maybe they are just bitches. Either way, it sucks to be around them. But I'm glad your horse if feeling better!

will said...

Spent much time shopping in Bevery Hills? Only the best of the best clerk snobs work there ...real pros at intimidation and customer devaluation.

I believe one has to pass tests to be certified for hired hand snobbery. Those with the natural condition of having a stick up their butt usually do well.

Veronica Roth said...

Wow, there’s nothing like not enough authority to bring out the worst in some people. (Usually this is a chronic condition with airport boarding pass checkers who stand in front of the customs, or people at UK Starbucks who you ask for a “no-fat chai latte to go” when is should have been a “skinny takeaway”) Glad you discovered that life is too short to deal with these people when there is a choice. Glad Mathilde is doing well.

Tracy Golightly-Garcia said...

Hello Julie

After losing almost 200lbs I still get the trash look when I go into certain stores. I just look back and think to myself--if only you knew my secret.

I am learning life is good and yes it does go on! Glad to know Matilde is doing much better.

Take Care

Tracy :)

Pia K said...

life's too short to not try and avoid these sad people (that obviously suffer from low self-esteem, because only such people feel the need to have this snobbish attitude, confident people who actually do know what they're talking about don't). when possible, which it clearly not always isn't. but in this case, you go get another horse masseuse. you pay her salary, matilde doesn't like her, there's only one thing to do, pay someone you both like.

Teri and her Stylish Adventure Cats said...

Interesting. I have felt the same way when conversing with cat breeders...I have hoped by the time I retired, I would have found someone to mentor...being a veterinary technician atunes you to those who are out of tune...