november wakes up on the wrong side of the bed

i hate to start off november with a rant, but there you have it. husband is on one of his snoring kicks and i woke up about 72 times in the night, so i'm grumpy. there's a fine mist hitting me in the face whenever i step outside to do chicken and rabbit chores. the horse is still lame. and she's getting crabby too. our washing machine is down and tho' i've called a repairman, they're extremely imprecise about when he'll show up. a rant is simply in the dark, chilly, damp autumn air.

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i tried to cheer myself up with a little browse of my google reader via flipboard. and can i just say that those blogs where there's only a truncated feed and you can't see the whole post without clicking an extra step....i'm just not going to read those anymore. the reality of today is that people are reading on a device - an iPad, an iPhone - and it's a big pain in the ass to have to click an extra step. i know all the reasons why one would truncate the post...to make sure the visits are counted...but really, it's just arrogant and annoying. and i'm done clicking the extra step.

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i'm reading another bad book. elaine feinstein's biography of anna akhmatova, anna of all the russias. and it's just bad. she extrapolates all kinds of biographical details from anna's poetry, as if they're true and not art. clearly the woman couldn't be bothered to do real research - she doesn't properly explain who anyone is or their connections. she appears to have only the vaguest knowledge of the russian revolution.  it's just a bad book. luckily, it's not a novel, so i can put it down without finishing it. i'll be taking it back to the library today.

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i no longer have any patience or time for things and people who drive me crazy. meddling. being too involved. not just letting me get on with what's ostensibly my responsibility, that stuff pisses me off. and makes me want to take a step (or two) back. this is why i'm not in the corporate world anymore.

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another thing that's driving me crazy is how people wear stress as a badge. as if it's a good thing to be so busy that you feel totally stressed out. here's a news flash: it's not. and i'm not impressed by your bragging about how stressed you are. it doesn't mean you're important, and it may actually mean that you're stupid.

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ok, i'm going to stop grumping now.

i'm actually very happy because handmade holiday starts today

and i'm really excited to share a lot of fun projects

with a lot of fun people.

it's not too late to join us!

slaying dragons and misogynist dinosaurs

sometimes you just have to slay the dragon.

"we approach every experience hopelessly lost in the fog of our own perspective." said cheeky monkey recently on not really. and it echoed back in my head today, when for the umpteenth time, i experienced a well-dressed (read: in a suit) older norwegian male barging ahead of any women in the area, to push up to the desk at the hotel and demand whatever it was he wanted, because he was obviously very important and his time was far more valuable than mine and that of the woman next to me. and that thing he wanted? it turned out to be the same internet cards i was standing in line, waiting my turn to obtain. rude self-centered jerk.

what is it with these guys? it was first a few months ago that i experienced one of these misogynist dinosaurs firsthand when he told me, unapologetically and to my face that i could not be allowed to go do an interview of a canadian CEO because i was a woman (yes, you read that correctly, a canadian CEO, not a yemeni or saudi one, which i may have been able to understand at least a little bit). i was left so dumbfounded by the experience that i didn't even say anything back. i was that shocked. because i would have thought that nearly a decade into the twenty-first century that otherwise seemingly well-raised, prosperous northern european white males would have gotten the message that it was not ok to discriminate against women for being women. but, i'm increasingly of the opinion that that message hasn't made it this far north.

i know what you're thinking..."you're in a man's world there with shipping, julochka. it's an old boy's club of the first order." and you would be right to an extent. however, with more than five years in this field, i never previously experienced any male person even giving me a hint that they thought i couldn't do my job because i was a woman. nor did i ever feel i wasn't completely accepted and respected in my position. until i came to norway. and it's SO BEWILDERING, i have to tell you. they give the nobel peace prize here, it must be ever-so-civilized, right? well, apparently not.

i think i've been so hopelessly lost in the fog of my own perspective that i couldn't understand this or even believe it.  and honestly, for several months, i couldn't even really admit how disappointing and demotivating it was that this happened to me. i even tried to tell myself that i'd misunderstood. but i'm afraid i didn't. and now i've definitely come to realize that i can't accept it. not anymore. sometimes you just have to draw the line. and i'm drawing the line here and now. so watch out misogynist dinosaurs, i'm going to do my best to see that you are well and truly extinct.