a small, not very coherent, collection of thoughts

i know this is a very serene picture, but i'm not feeling all that serene, there are a lot of things bugging me and they are all tumbling in my head. i'll get the trivial out of the way first...what the hell is a groom's cake? what groom wants a cake? (i need to be where facebook is not...so much for the new "re-focused on what's important" timeline, zuck.) and believe me, the cheeto satan does not weigh a mere 239 pounds. what a shithole. or is it asshole? or is it shitty asshole? yes. yes. and yes.

and now on to the less trivial...several times of late, i have read heartfelt, earnest facebook versions of life stories featuring the storyteller patting themselves on the back for never having accepted any kind of help...be it food stamps or financial assistance of other sorts. as if that's something to be congratulated for. as if needing and receiving help is a horrible, awful thing. honestly, is that where we are? if so, that just utterly sucks.

* * *

when you're crabby from being hungry, it's called hangry, but what's it called when you're crabby from not sleeping well?

* * *

if someone says your podcast trailer sounds "so npr" and also "so american," is that an insult or a compliment? i suspect it was an insult, but i'm choosing to take it as a compliment.

* * *

reading studs terkel's seminal work - working - from the 70s. and i'm realizing we haven't really progressed all that much. it's fascinating and deep and comforting and also disturbing. i have a library copy, but i think i'll have to buy it. so i can write and underline in it - things like this: "i think most of us are looking for a calling, not a job. most of us, like the assembly line worker, have jobs that are too small for our spirit. jobs are not big enough for people."

that said, i genuinely do love my job. but i fear that's the exception, not the rule.

* * *

a friend went to a course with tom of holland

and i want to too!

i have a whole stack of things that need mending.

uploading 63%....

63%...the plumber backed his oddly large truck into the roof and broke some bits off. of the roof, that is, his truck appears to be fine. i am annoyed looking through my instagram feed at people whose work consists of taking the same picture over and over and sharing it every day (says the girl who constantly posts cats)...72%...i'm watching the percentage of my upload crawl ever-so-slowly upward. it's cloudy and grey. again. i'm not really having as bad a day as it sounds...76%...it's just boring watching files upload. and i'm tired of the grey. and i'm really tired of that out-of-focus, bokehlicious, pretentious reflection shot of princess leia. get over it already and move on to another motif...84%...91%...(the ellipses represent much more time than you might imagine)...the millennial podcast announced their last episode yesterday...it seemed as self-absorbed and self-conscious as the rest of it had been...a few recent episodes had seemed like they'd run out of ideas and navels at which to gaze anyway, so it was time...another podcast i'm finding annoying after initially liking it is not by accident. it also has descended into some kind of self-pity party. yes, we get it, being a parent and having a job is tiring and hard and not for the faint of heart...96%...when will this bloody upload ever complete? it's only 18 photos! 98%...i think i'm ready for the weekend to begin...the child is having a few beers in a park with her new classmates after school, so i don't have to pick her up...99%...also, i'm cranky (it is hangry, perhaps?)...so i'm probably not being fair to the two podcasts mentioned above...i'm just in a mood...i'm sure they're lovely people with perfectly lovely navels upon which to gaze...98%...how did it go back down? i think i need me some kitten time...happy weekend if there's anyone out there...99%...100%.

when the storm clouds lift

i have been a storm cloud all day. it's one of those days where everything just feels aggravating. it's not that anything exactly is wrong, it just that it feels frustrating and pointless. it's surely more a symptom of SAD more than PMS and the grey, grey day didn't help. it also didn't help that the car was making a strange rattling sound. 

but things are beginning to look up. that rattling was just a non-essential piece that had rusted itself loose. we've ordered a new one and i can drive it in the meantime. sabin's class is doing a nativity scene this evening and we'll eat æbleskiver and glögg. and then i got a sweet mail from a new friend who works at the farm where molly came from in minnesota. in it, she asked me what i love about living in denmark. and that really helped. because i wasn't feeling much in love with anything today.

so, things i currently love about denmark:

~ that knowing danish gives you at least some ability to understand swedish, norwegian, dutch and german. at least the written bits.

~ the daily show on only one day's delay.

~ that it's not that long 'til the solstice and the light begins to return.

~ great drama. 

~ that a new julekalendar starts on saturday. (that's a christmas program that airs a new episode every day 'til christmas).

~ that the danes think christmas is on the 24th. this normally bugs the hell out of me, but this time, i'm looking on it as hey, two christmas meals!

~ going to sabin's christmas program and laughing with some of the other parents.

~ P1 - denmark's answer to NPR, only even better.

~ ny nordisk mad (new nordic food).

so a big thank you to jessica for shining a little light of positivity on my afternoon. i really needed that.

* * *

this is great - a lioness photographs her own poo with a canon dslr.

* * *

BBC radio 4 podcast on øresundsbroen.

i love how the professor says that lund university was built to swedify (read: civilize) the danes.

* * *

articles on the new feminism keep cropping up. this time, about crafting.

and tho' i think the writing is absolute crap in that piece, there are some interesting things to ponder.

* * *

the l boards on pinterest: ladders, lego my lego, let's play (this is work-related), looks interesting (mostly stuff to read with the occasional film), lysthus (my coming backyard refuge).

i'm always getting lost in my book

i am often completely swallowed up and absorbed by what i read. i start wanting to spend time down a well when i'm reading murakami. i feel manic and a bit feverish and like offing my landlady (thankfully i do not have a landlady) when i'm reading dostoevsky. i want to dress in coarse brown robes and brew up some healing tinctures when i'm reading cadfael. madam bovary makes me want to have a passionate affair. and anna karenina gives me thoughts of throwing myself under a train.

my sister remarked yesterday that i was very negative and it was true, i spent a lot of yesterday in a negative state of mind - fretting about facebook's acquisition of instagram (that can't bode well), the republican primaries (not much positive there aside from the new nickname "mittens" i learned for mitt romney), the byzantine 1950s cave man attitudes towards women evident in a lot of places all of a sudden.  there was a lot to be pissy about. but really, i blame anthony bourdain.

i'm reading his medium raw: a bloody valentine to the world of food and the people who cook. i've long admired his food/travel/adventure program on the travel channel. it seems to me that this guy has the best job in the world. he gets to go wherever he wants, eat everything in sight, drink copious amounts and say whatever the hell he wants about it in a humorous, witty and sardonic way. sounds ideal to me. but tho' he's got a razor sharp wit, he is just a weency bit negative. and it's rubbing off on me. and ironic negativity for comic effect? count me in. but i fear it's making me not very much fun to be around.

i've only got about 20 pages left, so it will be over soon. i think my family and my facebook friends will be glad of that.

*  *  *

and in the meantime, these texts from hillary will cheer you right up. 

november wakes up on the wrong side of the bed

i hate to start off november with a rant, but there you have it. husband is on one of his snoring kicks and i woke up about 72 times in the night, so i'm grumpy. there's a fine mist hitting me in the face whenever i step outside to do chicken and rabbit chores. the horse is still lame. and she's getting crabby too. our washing machine is down and tho' i've called a repairman, they're extremely imprecise about when he'll show up. a rant is simply in the dark, chilly, damp autumn air.

*  *  *

i tried to cheer myself up with a little browse of my google reader via flipboard. and can i just say that those blogs where there's only a truncated feed and you can't see the whole post without clicking an extra step....i'm just not going to read those anymore. the reality of today is that people are reading on a device - an iPad, an iPhone - and it's a big pain in the ass to have to click an extra step. i know all the reasons why one would truncate the post...to make sure the visits are counted...but really, it's just arrogant and annoying. and i'm done clicking the extra step.

*  *  *

i'm reading another bad book. elaine feinstein's biography of anna akhmatova, anna of all the russias. and it's just bad. she extrapolates all kinds of biographical details from anna's poetry, as if they're true and not art. clearly the woman couldn't be bothered to do real research - she doesn't properly explain who anyone is or their connections. she appears to have only the vaguest knowledge of the russian revolution.  it's just a bad book. luckily, it's not a novel, so i can put it down without finishing it. i'll be taking it back to the library today.

*  *  *

i no longer have any patience or time for things and people who drive me crazy. meddling. being too involved. not just letting me get on with what's ostensibly my responsibility, that stuff pisses me off. and makes me want to take a step (or two) back. this is why i'm not in the corporate world anymore.

*  *  *

another thing that's driving me crazy is how people wear stress as a badge. as if it's a good thing to be so busy that you feel totally stressed out. here's a news flash: it's not. and i'm not impressed by your bragging about how stressed you are. it doesn't mean you're important, and it may actually mean that you're stupid.

*  *  *

ok, i'm going to stop grumping now.

i'm actually very happy because handmade holiday starts today

and i'm really excited to share a lot of fun projects

with a lot of fun people.

it's not too late to join us!