does it preserve sanity?

living in a windmill would definitely preserve my sanity.

a friend, who lives a similarly freelance life, mentioned to me the other day the question she often asked herself as she was about to embark on an activity: does it preserve sanity? and i came across an activity today that i realized most decidedly does not preserve sanity. at least not my sanity. and it got me thinking about what components an activity has to have in order for it to preserve my sanity.

~ i have to be able to understand it - the process, the steps it takes, how it works.  it's perfectly ok if it takes some work to figure that out (see next component), but there has to be an underlying discoverable logic.

~ it has to challenge me. if it's immediately easy and i get the hang of it quickly, i get bored.

~ it has to seem fair. i have to have an equal shot at it.

~ it has to be what it appears to be. if i feel it's somehow a lie or not what it seems, the sanity (and the patience) go immediately.

~ the activity has to give me a sense of satisfaction - either that i accomplished something that i can see, got something out of my system or built the foundation towards something else.

~ if it involves other people, i have to think that they are intelligent at a level commensurate with the activity (sadly, this is where the sanity bit often falls apart).

~ it has to make sense (this is different than whether i am able to understand it) - again, there has to be an underlying logic at work, one which is ultimately transparent.

it seems a little bit weird to be pondering the preservation of sanity while the world melts down around us, but on the other hand, perhaps that's the perfect time to do so.

how do you preserve your sanity?

couchsurfing and the irrigation of joy

i'm back in love with couchsurfing again. that weird freeloader guy was a total couchsurfing anomaly.  in the past couple of weeks, we've had a most delightful retired teacher from norway and a lovely couple from the canary islands. with both sets of guests, we had the most wonderful, deep, philosophical, existential conversations. conversations that play in my head long afterwards and resonate with me, giving me much to think about.

a long discussion of self and ego and whether happiness comes from the self or through others highlighted a discussion that stretched long into the warm summer evening with the retired norwegian teacher. peppered with quotations from philosophers and life experiences, it was one of those evenings you don't want to end. both husband and i have been continuing the conversation long after - in our own heads and together.

the couple from the canary islands brought some fantastic black potatoes from their father's garden. we will try to plant some of them, as our sandy soil is good for potatoes. and we will enjoy the rest of them with the mojo sauce they brought - cooked in salty water as we were instructed before they continued on their bicycle journey. their sunny attitude and accepting and happy way of looking at the world were infectious and i felt reminded not to have so many expectations all the time. sometimes you just have to accept life and people as they come. i am grateful to them for this reminder.

and so i think of all of the joy that has come to me through my online life (spud wrote a great post about it not long ago) - because couchsurfing is a corner of my online life...you put your profile there, you describe yourself, your area, your couch and people get in touch and ask if they can stay. then the virtual intersects the real and you meet them in person - people you wouldn't otherwise have met. the vast majority of which you feel privileged to have met. people who you remain friends with - exchanging emails and photos that inspire - people you'll definitely want to see again and maybe surf their couch one day.

i suppose what i like about couchsurfing is that it makes me more open to the world - it enables me to shed a different light on my world for a day or two. to encounter other ways of thinking and being that leave me feeling richer for the experience.  it most definitely irrigates my joy (thank you for that phrase césar and nuria).

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and speaking of irrigating joy - beth has made blog badges in memory of char, using some of char's beautiful images. please go here to get a badge to remember char.

irrigating my joy

a couchsurfing couple from the canary islands who will be biking to our house on july 1 (that's quite a trip!) sent me a message yesterday. at the end, they thanked me for irrigating their joy. and i fell in love with the phrase and decided it's going to be my theme for the summer. any activity that doesn't irrigate my joy will have to go.

here's how i intend to irrigate my joy:

~ writing
~ taking photos
~ spending time with sabin and her horse
~ working in the garden
~ processing the garden bounty
~ sewing
~ making things
~ meeting and talking to new people
~ long, laughter-filled evenings with friends and good food
~ getting involved somehow in my local area
~ follow through on a few of the balls currently in the air

and i'm looking very much forward to meeting these enthusiastic people who came up with such a phase.

what will you do to irrigate your joy?

what are you gonna remember?

it's been a memorable day in more ways than i can express here at the moment. but it's also memorable because it's been absolutely perfect weather, once again.

sabin had a couple of friends over. they biked out here from in town (6 km) on this gorgeous afternoon. and they played in her treehouse, frolicked with the bunnies and drove the lawnmower around and around the yard. and i thought about how this is the stuff that memories are made of.

because what are you going to remember when it comes to it? sunshine. laughter.  being barefoot.

good food. more laughter. a bit of wine. a bit of cider. or juice if you're a child.

and biking with your friends.

what are you going to remember?

what are you gonna remember?

as i've mentioned before, the primary guiding philosophy i use in life (prior to my new one of writing is the new praying) is what are you gonna remember? in pretty much any decision-making situation, i ask myself that question. i'll also ask you that question if you're ever trying to make a decision in my presence.

well, this evening, when i was totally in the zone, sewing on a new quick fleece-backed quilt for sabin's new and improved big girl bedroom, a particular memory kept popping unbidden into my head. and so i thought i'd share it with all of you. because it's a good one.

i've written before about being in a typhoon in the philippines, but several stories happened during that storm. we were in batangas (south of manila) for a workshop and were a group of about 30 people, working very hard during the day and relaxing very hard when we weren't working. one evening, despite the rain, we ventured out for dinner. it had been raining all day, an unbelievable amount of rain. i understood, seeing that rain, at long last what they meant by it raining in sheets. i tried to capture it in the picture above, but it didn't really do it justice.

we got ready for dinner and ran for the bus. my sister used a very environmentally conscious rain hat which she had made from a lush bag - lush being pretty environmentally conscious themselves. we had a nice dinner, some karaoke and a few beers. san miguel light and san miguel extra dry were our beers of choice in the philippines. very refreshing, as my red-eyed sister illustrates (these were taken before i got the "big" camera).

it was very dark and still pouring down rain when we piled back into the bus to go back to our hotel. my sister decided to stick her head out the open window to holler something at someone, as she is prone to doing at times (she has the occasional issue remembering to use her indoor voice), especially after a refreshing malt beverage or two. when she pulled her head back in, off into the rain-soaked darkness on the OUTSIDE of the bus flew one of her giant diamond earrings, which she'd received as a pushing present (thank you, spud, for that phrase) for her second son. very strangely, at exactly that moment, i was reading a text message on my mobile phone from her ex-husband, asking me to have her call as soon as she could about that second child's visit to the EAR doctor!

naturally, losing an item so precious and laden with meaning in such an impossible setting at the same moment she learned her child needed ear surgery was very traumatic and she became understandably hysterical very upset. we screamed to the bus driver not to move the bus and acquired a flashlight and went out to look for the lost earring. bearing in mind that it was midnight, pitch black and a typhoon was raging, it seemed pretty much a long shot that it would ever be found. then, one of the guys said, "i'll find it, i've got snake eyes." and he proceeded to leave the bus, walk straight out into the darkness and nonchalantly pick up the earring.

he said afterwards that he got a clear picture of it in his head and knew exactly where it was. pretty cool, don't you think?

what would madonna do? - #1

in the spirit of shag ~ marry ~ kill, i thought we'd play another new game..this one's called, what would madonna do? the idea came up because i was chatting with my sister after the surprise (even to myself) addition of britney spears - shag to my list and she said, that i must have been thinking, what would madonna do? because really, things have gone well for madonna. if you don't count that sex book and sean penn and guy ritchie (which went pretty well for quite a long time). so in addition to my twin philosophies of what are you gonna remember? and writing is the new praying, when i've got a vexing situation before me i'm going to ask myself from now on, what would madonna do?


scenario 1:  so you're at work, and you're invited to one of those parties where people are trying to sell you stuff. it's just after work hours, but it's AT work. and you think that this doesn't really further the position or image of women in your workplace and there's no way in hell that you're going. however, the person organizing the party keeps asking you. you, being a weak suck, keep avoiding the inevitable answer of "no." and even tho' you did finally say "no" outright, she continues to badger you.

what would madonna do? she would express herself and have the courage to tell the girl no and give her a piece of her mind as to how doing such a thing at work totally underlines the bimbo picture that the men in the workplace have of the women there and there's no way in hell she'd ever attend, even tho' she is, in fact, a material girl.

what i'd like to know is where the hell was madonna? (hmm, a potential new game?) last week when i needed her.

i'll be sharing these little tidbits of madonna wisdom whenever the need arises.

enjoy the rest of your sunday. i know it's what madonna would do....