truth in blogging

the fog is as thick as the proverbial pea soup out there. even tho' the sun tried to break through earlier, it never fully succeeded. just stepping outside sends a chill straight through to the bones. it's really starting to be winter. i'm swaddled in multiple sweaters, there are candles burning all over the house and a steaming cup of tea keeps the chill at bay. but the weather's the perfect excuse to sit down with the iPad and check in on the blogosphere.

i flipped through loads of inspiring words and photos and it seemed as if everything was rosy out there in blogland. but then i read bee's post, where she calls for some reality. and i realized that i too miss reality in the midst of all that perfection in the blogosphere. where are the mommy bloggers who admit it's hard and that they sometimes want to scream or run away? what about the fabulous craft projects that end up looking like a pile of crap instead of a glittering tower of crocheted fabulousness? where are the simplicity people who fall off the simplicity wagon and buy a whole collection of urban decay eyeliners? what about how much time is really spent on pinterest? or facebook? where are the people who have trouble with their apple devices? (ok, now i'm just getting silly, we know they don't exist.) what about sinks of dirty dishes and that pot you just don't want to scrub? or the dirty secrets at the back of the refrigerator.

i call for a moratorium on perfection in the blogosphere and urge you to just let it all hang out. reveal the truth...that we're not composing these posts in full makeup and false eyelashes with our hair perfectly coiffed as a perfect soufflé bakes in the oven (tho' soufflés are easier than you might think). we wake up late, we give the child three chocolate sandwiches in her lunchbox because we're in a rush and all of the sandwich meats are expired, we rush out the door to deliver her to school, one flannel pajama leg stuffed into our wellie and the other flapping on the outside. we fail to brush our hair.  (with we being me.)

i'm going to do it. let it all hang out. the whole truth. for one week.

won't you join me?

custom iPad case

eek! i had so much fun making this special iPad case featuring the old Eastern Airlines logo and colors. i love, love, love working with leather!  if you'd like to special order a leather iPad case too (it does not have to be Eastern Airlines), just send me a mail, i'd be happy to give it a whirl.

auspicious dates and constructing models of the world

i love how the interwebs go a bit mad when there's a date that has a ring to it - 11.11.11. those ones look so clean and pretty all lined up like that. so we ascribe all sorts of meaning to them. prime numbers, those 1s, so they must bring luck or change or good things somehow, if we just wish hard enough. or big enough.

again, i find myself thinking about words. and how they shape our world and most especially our model of the world - the one in each of our heads. the one we constantly work so hard to make true - finding in all of the people and actions and events around us, things which confirm that model. the model becomes bigger than reality. and it's all shaped by words and the significance we give them.

yesterday i had a moment of encountering my model of the world and especially of the culture around me and it was eye-opening. i had a lightning-like realization that my particular model was holding me back and causing me a great deal of anguish and unnecessary unhappiness, as i strive constantly to make it true. and i realized as well that i need to build a new model, but first, i had to think about where the bad one came from.

and my conclusion is that words really matter. my model is the result of a lot of things...those grim-faced women who ran over me with their big-ass prams and didn't even thinking of apologizing who i encountered in my early days in denmark. those doors that weren't held open an extra beat as i approached, but instead dropped in my face as if i were invisible. all those mornings on the train with the same people who never once said good morning or nodded an acknowledgement that we saw one another every morning. the public political rhetoric of the past decade that has demonized anyone foreign in denmark. these experiences and the words i have used to describe them have all shaped a model in my head that leaves me feeling pretty miserable at times and which hobbles me and makes me afraid to act, because i'm so loathe to encounter, once again, a situation that leaves me feeling invisible.

i've carefully constructed a barrier around me, to protect myself from such situations. and in doing so, have quite effectively blocked myself from many undoubtedly positive experiences. i realize that it's pretty exhausting, this trying to make everything and everyone fit what is essentially a negative model. so here, on 11.11.11, i've decided to tear down the old one and construct a new model. one which opens more possibilities for me. and leaves me much more open to happiness and genuine interaction with the people around me.

and just having seen my inner model of the world for what it is, just for a brief few seconds yesterday and realizing that i not only need to, but CAN change it, makes me feel immensely lighter. and somehow, tho' it's just words, 11.11.11 seems like an auspicious date to begin.

happy birthday!

i know it's not easy being the little sister...the way totally paved for you, the parents broken in, the rules all set (and in your case, completely cast aside), but i do hope you have a great birthday! and enjoy that last year in the 30s, but don't worry, because 40 is the new 30.

are you talkin' to me?

wordless wednesday

i remember light

november in denmark.  dark. dreary. cloudy. foggy. rainy. it's good to be able to remember the light (or at least browse it in iPhoto).

i think we've only seen the sun briefly through a haze of fog since november started. it's driving me mad, as i'm trying to post my next projects in the handmade holiday course and the light is just not cooperating for my photos. so. frustrating. so please hang on, my dears, i do promise there's goodness on its way!! if i could just get some decent photos of it.

i know that november is like this. it has been since my first november here. i remember being quite shocked at how dark and dreary it was. and i remember going out one evening with husband (who wasn't husband yet then) to a movie. on our bicycles. in the rain. wearing a flowy, silk j. peterman dress. that got caught in my bike chain. and i had to stand there, getting soaked in the rain, while husband (who almost didn't become husband after that) got it out of my chain. luckily i realized the weather wasn't his fault.  but ever since then november is my least favorite month.

top chicken

there are times when i begin to feel decidedly hermit-like. for example, meetings, where everyone has such a need to be heard that it results in them talking on top of one another, interrupting and generally preening to show they're the top chicken make me want to beat a fast retreat.  it's just so distant from where i am and where i want to be.

i suppose positioning is simply a biological drive we can't turn off. we constantly assess where we're at in the hierarchy and work to position ourselves more advantageously. there was a time when i was in there with those crowing the loudest, but i don't want to be there anymore. i'm coming to the realization (probably a bit late, admittedly), that you don't have to be the one making the most noise to actually be the top chicken.

but those doing all that squawking really are annoying.