we'll always have paris

my throat is raw. i was walking across paris, back to my hotel in the 6th arrondissement, from the eiffel tower, talking to my mother, who finally actually answered the phone after weeks of trying her and never getting her. mom started in on how it was good that hillary didn't win the election because she had received a letter from her, in which hillary threatened to take away my mother's right to be a good christian. she went on to say that it was because hillary had spent too much time with barack obama, so she had become evil. and i was outraged. i screamed at her that those were fucking outrageous lies and she should stop saying them. and she said she sure wished she hadn't thrown it away, because she'd show me that it was true. and i screamed some more about outrageous lies and that it must have been the first piece of mail she'd thrown away in years, which seemed ironic. (not to mention, who sends these things?) and i was shaking so badly, i almost had to sit down right there on a paris street. and i thought, "this is it, this is the last conversation i will ever have with my mother and i always remember that it took place in paris." and i didn't know whether to be jubilant or devastated. life is like that right now. emotions run so close to the surface it's hard to grab onto what you really feel. and i was a little surprised at the heat of my own reaction. my throat is so sore - i must have really screamed. and then i calmed down and mom admitted that she didn't like trump either and that she didn't want to vote for either of them. but she didn't remember who she had voted for, but she did vote early. and she would have to ask her friend who she voted for. i asked her to lie to me if it was trump and she said, cheerfully, and perhaps a bit too readily, "i can do that."

and we ended up ok and she said, "i love you, honey" before we hung up and i said, "i wuv," which is our family way of ducking the real words.

and i have to wonder if my yelling at her didn't scare her lucid, for just a few minutes. because she seemed ok after i did it. and i told her that i was sure that dad would be rolling over in his grave if he knew what she said about hillary and obama. and i almost hung up. and i thought for a minute that she hung up on me. and i was shaking in anger, throat raw, heart pounding, livid.

and now this is what i have imprinted on my first trip to paris. and i don't know what i think about that.  but my throat sure is sore.

rapturous skies

according to trending topics on twitter, the rapture is coming. i'm not sure who decided it (i hope it wasn't donald trump), as that's not really clear from 140 characters or less. it seems most people tend to be using those musing as to what they're going to wear when the end comes. but after a rainy and rather chilly couple of days, the sun broke through this evening and one could practically see the rapture on the horizon. hmmm, i wonder what i should wear...

arbness

iPhone shot from my train journey to copenhagen the other day.

i'm running on a minimal iPhoto library while my big iMac is in for a big servicing (before its warranty runs out) and i'll admit i feel handicapped by it. i usually start a blog post by knowing what photo will go in it. unless it's a rant. those usually just come right out, photo or no photo. but i have only minor complaints today, no rant, so i give you an equally random iPhone shot. i do love that instagram app.

planet jr. no. 3 seeder

~ it's gotten rather chilly over the past couple of days and i'm missing our warm, sunny days already. there was even frost the past few nights. so i'm back in sweaters and tall socks and not that happy about it. but i'm glad we hadn't gotten out the seeder (above) and planted a bunch of things yet, because the frost would surely have gotten them.

~ there was a dying horse in a pen at sabin's riding lesson last evening. the vet had been out and run all kinds of tests and they couldn't figure out what was wrong with it. but it was clearly in a lot of pain. the vet was going to be coming back at 8 and they would make a decision about whether to put it down. very traumatic experience for the little riding girls to witness. all of them were very upset.

~ one of the joys of living in the countryside is that it's difficult to mouse-proof an old ramshackle house like ours. but i'm happy to report that traps are succeeding where our indoor cat has failed.

~ yesterday, we got our rusty old planet jr. cultivator in the mail from my sister. we'd bought it on eBay, but the seller, being typically americentric (or possibly just unaware that other countries exist), wouldn't ship it to us, so my sis had to be involved. however, that worked out very well, because she filled in some of the crevasses of the package with some fabulous urban decay eyeliners! and now i'm totally sold - urban decay eyeliner rocks. i've got perversion, ransom, binge, electric, stash, mildew and rockstar. with names like those, how can you go wrong?

this is the planet jr. cultivator - one man's rusty bit of metal is another man's treasure.

~ my order of heather moore's fabulous cut out & keep for cloud 9 fabrics is stuck in customs and those jerkies are slow to respond, tho' i provided all of the requested documentation a WEEK AGO.

~ i find it disturbing to convert my life and activities into dollars. a price that seems ok in danish kroner seems really disturbingly high when converted to dollars. i knew gas was expensive, but does it really have to be nearly $11 per gallon?  apparently it does. it makes me want to ride my bike.

~ i think a lot of people are getting fed up with etsy. it seems so flooded these days with crap - either stuff that's not really handmade or stuff that's not really vintage or PDFs of copyrighted material at a deep discount or items using stolen photos. and they're so not choosy about what's on the front page. there was a whole treasury of shipping options on the front page a couple of weeks ago. what? and then another front page treasury which featured a half-used up tin of old children's watercolors (artfully photographed, of course) for $12. really? is that really vintage? and don't even get me started on the people who sells sticks. plain sticks. and the odd tree stump. and then there's the whole fact that they don't take complaints of copying seriously and do anything about them. i did recently put some smaller items in my etsy shop, but i think i may be using just big cartel going forward. if you want to laugh (or perhaps be outraged) about some of the crap that's on etsy, check out regretsy.

and that's all the randomness i've got in me at the moment. i blame it on my allergies. so i'll be wandering off to pinterest now (they claim the app will be here in 5 days, but i'll believe it when i see it).

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if you want to read more about our bees, go here.

and if you're hungry for blueberry muffins, go here.

wordless wednesday - what is that thing?

a WTF? wednesday experience

ok, i swear that the bizarro world thing is spreading....

i just got a phone call from someone who was trying to sell me a hospital clown. or at least a sponsorship of a hospital clown. i could not make this up people, this is a true story. i had a rather hard time understanding what he was getting at and he thought i couldn't speak danish, but i think that my ears simply couldn't believe that someone was trying to sell me a hospital clown. what is a hospital clown, you ask? apparently, it's a clown who goes around to hospitals, trying to ease the fears of children who are facing surgery. frankly, i find clowns deeply disturbing and i would imagine that what really happens is that the children end up preferring the surgery to the clown.

anyhow, this guy said that my clown would be at my closest hospital, which he said was the big main hospital in copenhagen, which is definitely not my closest hospital. he also mentioned another hospital that's nowhere near where i live. since i have an unlisted phone number, i asked him where he thought i was. he then said, somewhere in jylland (which is the bit of denmark that's attached to germany and definitely NOT where i live and REALLY far from the hospitals he had named). he actually said this right after he READ OUT my address, so he knew the name of my town and didn't know where it was in HIS OWN COUNTRY. please people, the place is the size of wisconsin, it's not that difficult.

i know he was just doing his sucky telemarketing job, but i told him i thought clowns were scary and there was no way i was going to play any part in paying one. then, i suggested that he try to know something about the people he's calling, otherwise he shouldn't really call. i also asked him to remove my unlisted number from his call list. i pointed out that it was unlisted so that i wouldn't get calls from people who didn't know who the hell i was or where i lived and that if i wanted to purchase something or sponsor something, i would seek out that information on my own, but it would never, ever, under any circumstance be a friggin' clown!!! and then i hung up. seriously, WTF?

this is the second telemarketer who has called in as many weeks. they never used to call, so i guess it's a sign of the GEC that they are resorting to this technique. telemarketers are something i most decidedly do NOT miss from the US. in fact, the only thing i really miss is the Gap. and really good fajita salt. oh, and proper mexican restaurants.

p.s. i looked for clown pictures to go with this post, but they were all too friggin' scary to share. which only proves my point.

wistful winding down

it's my second to last time this year in a hotel room in oslo. although i'm a little tired of these generic, uninteresting hotel rooms and the limited range of channels on t.v., i am feeling a little wistful about it. it's been a great year. it's been a fun job, a privileged situation to work from home so much and to travel to places i love and best of all, i've worked with great people who always welcome me when i come up, even when i'm feeling a little uncomfortable about coming up after not being here for a few weeks. they have never, ever made me feel that way. just super people.  although there is a very good chance i will still be working up here in 2009, it will be with a different department, so i feel a bit wistful about not working together with this group. it feels like a chapter is ending.

another of the things i will miss at least for a few weeks (since i'm not starting with the new group until sometime in january (still being worked out exactly when)) is the posh mall food at the food garage in sandvika storcenter. especially their posh pizzas and refreshing fruit drinks in unusual flavors (had rhubarb/vanilla today):

at the same time as feeling a bit wistful and even slightly nostalgic (which could at any moment slip over into sentimentality and i hate sentimentality), i'm pretty excited about the opportunity next year. i had a long conversation about it today and will again at the end of next week. and it's exciting and pretty much the ideal job for me. it involves a publication. and the web. and travel. and a fabulous camera (nikon D300 anyone?). and lots of pretty ships. and so my mind already well into next year and the first issue. i've got themes in mind for the whole year. and it feels pretty exciting and a little decadent in the face of global economic crisis and downsizing, to feel so engaged in a new job before i've even begun. and another chapter begins. or at least looks like it's going to in the new year.

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but on a lighter note, in the vein of WTF wednesday: what on earth was rod blagojevich thinking? who does the man think he is, tony soprano?

kabul safer than wal-mart

dang. for the second time in a week or so, i'm reading about deaths at wal-mart. i knew that wal-mart was evil, but this is getting ridiculous. employees, who are already not treated well by their employer, are trampled to death as they open the doors. and now there's talk of other employees who tackle poor shoplifters (who are probably desperate, sad people in the first place) and kill them.

when i was in college, i went to wal-mart. i liked that they were open 24 hours. you could go there at 1 a.m. to buy your cleaning products and avoid all the freaky crowds. tho' you didn't really avoid the freaks, since that's when they were there, wandering the aisles, muttering to themselves and gesturing wildly. still, that's when i chose to go. something about breathing in the chemical smell and the reassuring whirr of the floor polisher just had its appeal.

but, then somewhere along the way i read barbara ehrenreich's book nickle and dimed: on not getting by in america and i decided not to go to wal-mart anymore. and i haven't set foot in one since 2003. of course, it helps that where i live there aren't any, but even when i'm in the US i avoid them. and my dad, who just turned 75 yesterday, has NEVER set foot in one. i'm so proud of him for that. of course, it didn't help my resolve that i spent a number of years working for the world's largest container shipping company and that wal-mart was a major customer (they had a whole fleet of key account managers hanging out in arkansas). however, i had no direct association.

but this latest rash of madness and mayhem at wal-mart further reinforces it for me. i'll definitely not be setting foot in one again now, i don't care how bad this financial crisis gets. i'll just make do with less cleaning products. and i'm sure with the economic slowdown, it's only going to get worse for wal-mart workers--kept on part-time hours so the company can avoid paying benefits, paying only minimum wage, all so we can get the jumbo pack of paper towels for $1.99. and we can see how much they care about the safety of their customers. no thank you. i'd rather walk through downtown kabul. which is probably actually safer these days.

lifestyle editors need a lifestyle adjustment

"to be hip or not to be hip," that is the question. actually, the question is more, "should one be hip in a time of worldwide economic crisis and if so, how?" but that doesn't roll off the tongue in the same way.

it seems to me as i page through my sunday newspapers that the people writing the lifestyle magazines that come with those every sunday are lagging a bit behind. perhaps this is because they plan those magazines months ahead and although they are meant to be the trend-spotters, they were apparently WAY off and didn't see the crisis coming. or maybe they're kept in some isolated room, far from the rest of the editorial staff and they have no access to the actual news of the day.

case in point:

a photo and description of a louis vuitton caviar case. yes, you read that correctly, a little square designer, hand-sewn bag in which to carry your caviar and all its accoutrements (this could easily have been a WTF wednesday posting) (oddly, i cannot find the case in question on the LV website, so no link, just this shot of my newspaper). that seems a little lavish in these tough economic times, doesn't it? and it reminds me of when i once saw a chanel water bottle holder to take the gym in neiman marcus in phoenix. but that was in the mid-90s, when times were good. and yes, i restrained from buying it, mostly because i thought the gold signature chanel chain would get too hot around my neck to carry it out rollerblading in the arizona heat. but, i digress...

there is also a big feature on high end designer lamps. we're talking a 6-page feature article on lamps that start at $1,200. i really do wonder if these lifestyle people have access to the rest of the newspaper at all? do they realize that people's home values are plummeting and they can scarcely afford to buy food for their families, let alone spend their entire grocery budget and then some on a lamp that doesn't even really light up the room, but just looks pretty.  i wonder who they think their audience is?

in the influence section, right next to the LV caviar case, they redeem themselves a bit with a little blurb about some hip young danish students who have a fashion blog, where they talk about dressing like you just stepped off the runway even tho' you're on a student budget. that seems pretty hip to the times.

to be fair, there is also a very cool article on street art, which seems a bit more like it. what better activity for the economically-challenged than to wander around with a camera, looking for interesting bits of art here and there on the streets and then being enterprising enough to make it into a calendar? (i wish they had links up on berlingske's website, but it seems the people who post that stuff aren't working on a sunday. grr. so again, we must make do with a shot of my newspaper.)

i don't know about you, but i'd like to see a lifestyle section in the newspaper that reflected the reality of people's lives today. perhaps they're attempting to offer an escapism to make us all forget about falling currency values (in europe anyway, the dollar is mysteriously rising), the loss of our friværdi in our homes (that's the difference between what you owe and what it's worth--when it's positive--equity, that's the word i was looking for) and the fact that countries and companies the size of countries are going bankrupt if they don't get bailed out. frankly, that's not what i want. i'd like to read more articles about how recycling is chic and how to repurpose last year's little black dress so that it's cool this year too. i'd like to know posh ways to use obscure and cheaper cuts of meat. handicrafts are hot, why aren't there more articles about that kind of thing? i think these lifestyle editors need to stop eating posh, designer hotdogs with porcini relish (that was mentioned today too) and get out into the real world and see what's happening.

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p.s. i understand new york magazine has tips for people like me who are suffering from election withdrawal.

p.p.s. there's a very fun list of 37 things president bush should regret, since he recently said that he only had two regrets from his presidency. i think i could come up with about 100 more...

that does it...

canadians take the piss with sarah palin and surprisingly (or not), she doesn't have a clue! i wish i could say something nice about her, but the only thing i can think of is that she's hilarious.

terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day

husband woke us up an hour early because he'd forgotten change his alarm clock to winter time. it rained. the fireplace wouldn't start. i got my writing done, but it sucks. the hotel website won't load, so i have no hotel for tomorrow. my right elbow started to hurt--kind of a lot--for no reason.

it was a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

i went to get fabric at the fabric store from hell. actually, it's a very nice fabric store, as far as the fabric is concerned, but the help are all deeply unhappy and wish they were somewhere else, so the atmosphere there isn't good.  that's actually when it really started to go wrong. my mood was definitely dragged down after being there.

i found out my sister is, for some reason unknown to me, on some strange spiteful vendetta against me. actually, the reason is known, it's just too stupid to comprehend. it's because i didn't answer an email to a RANDOM STRANGER that she GAVE MY EMAIL ADDRESS to PUBLICLY ON TWITTER!!! so when said random stranger tells her this today, she emails him back and says this:

"Yeah, weird deal.  I made the introduction thinking you'd have interests in common with her, but she had one of her knee-jerk reactions.  She freaked out at the horrible thought of me giving away her super-secret email address to a would-be serial killer in Central Iowa, though you'd have to cross an entire ocean to go about your crime against what, an email address?  So I got in big trouble for trying to introduce you.  My apologies for the wasted time. Turns out you wouldn't be that interested in knowing her, I guess."

and how do i know this, you ask? because she thought it would be amusing to forward it to me. i guess she knew i was having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day and just wanted to help out, in case it was getting brighter.

let me ask you, was it really so wrong of me not to want my email address broadcast on twitter or twinkle or whatever her iPhone version is to everyone within a 150 mile radius of bum-fuck, iowa just so some random stranger could have it and get in touch with me? somehow, i just can't find a way for that to be ok in my head. nor can i find any explanation for my sister's behavior towards me. fine to email him back and say what she said above, it's a free country (for now), but why add the spite by forwarding it to me? why would someone want to be totally disloyal to their only sister and then rub it in her face? i guess i'm just too simple to understand it.

then, just when i thought it couldn't get any worse, i just flipped back to my gmail--home of said address--and it strangely asked me to sign in, saying my email had been deactivated!! causing my blood to run cold (honestly, now i understand what that means). then, i tried again, signed in and had to do one of those little random alphabet thingies and then it went in! WTF? how can all of this happen in one day?

and right when things were looking up a little, because i had just had fun making these cards to put in the mailboxes all along our street, letting everyone know that we're having a children's halloween party on friday night and that they should expect some small trick-or-treaters to be coming by (we have to warn them because this isn't a traditional trick or treat country).  and i had had fun because i got to stamp on the cards and then play with fire--because i burned the edges (my first successful encounter with fire all day).

so now, i think i'll go to bed, i have to get up early and fly to oslo. terrible, horrible no good, very bad days don't happen more than one at a time, do they?