protective energy

most amazing experience today. we had an open house in our atelier at the top of the library. the purpose was to show the community the kinds of things we do in our little creative group and hopefully gain some new members. i hadn't seen a certain member since the day she screamed at me and drove off. i didn't see her come in and only realized she was there when i heard her voice behind me. i said, "hello, nice to see you," as i walked past. but i'll admit i felt nervous about her being there. she awkwardly stammered back a hello. 

i went downstairs with my good friend and told her that i felt nervous. she said, you have to protect yourself with some good energy before you go back upstairs. she tried to guide me to do it. she told me to picture a calming blue light, starting at my head and enveloping me. i closed my eyes and tried. the only light that would come was orange. then she stood in front of me, warmed her hands and raised them above my head. as soon as her hands were there, the light turned from orange to a rich, dark blue. then she proceeded to draw a line of protection around me. i could feel prickles of energy, though she didn't touch me. i got all goosebumps. and i really could see that rich, blue light enveloping me. then she gave me a big hug and told me she loved me. it was amazing and though i know it sounds completely woo woo, i really felt protected. 

back upstairs, my nemesis sat near me and i could feel waves of bad energy coming from her. and i swear i could almost see my protective energy field pushing them away, protecting me from them. i found myself smiling and feeling calm and happy. it was mind-blowing. and it felt absolutely amazing. 

she left early. maybe she could feel her bad energy being pushed back at her. i still feel sorry for her. she's still clearly in a bad place and it hasn't gotten better. i really hope she gets some help.

i think everyone left in a good mood, feeling great for having being creative together for a few hours. we definitely need to do more of these sessions. 

a bit of light in the dark

i sat at my computer all day. my bossy apple watch kept reminding me to stand up. i didn't listen. i have a lot to do. it turns out that (re)writing an entire website is a pretty big job (thank goodness i have help). two weeks of holiday helped put my head back on straight, so i'm much more able to concentrate and get down to the work. at the end of the day, in the waning bits of light, i finally listened to my watch and went out for a walk. and i'm so glad i did. the nearly full moon was rising and the air was crisp and cool. i walked 4km and it got pretty thoroughly dark by the time i returned, even though it only took about 40 minutes. 

it's kind of amazing how that 40 minutes of fresh air and being in my body means that when i got back home, i'm full of ideas and energy. that's also surely down to the two weeks of holiday. i always feel like travel fills me with ideas and energy. and now i know that taking a walk helps me keep hold of that. 

the problem is that it's the dark time of year and it's going to get darker for another month. since we live in country roads, i can put on a high visibility vest and get out there and walk anyway. my phone has light. we have a headlamp. this is doable. and worth it for the ideas and energy. 

a brisk walk, like shining a bit of light in the dark. 

guarding my energy

as they always say in the nytimes cooking facebook group - a kitten for the algorithm

the older i get, the more i feel aware of my energy and how the people i am around affect it. especially in these times when we're not around people all that much, it becomes much more apparent who gives you energy and who doesn't. and i find my lifelong desire to be part of a group (who doesn't have that?) at odds with whether or not that group gives me energy. and as i sit here on a zoom with one of those groups, i can tell you that it does not give me energy and in fact, i feel it draining what energy i had left at the end of a long and very busy day. and i am going to have to put aside my desire to belong and protect myself and my energy. my energy is more important than being part of a group. i don't think i've been very good at that equation for most of my life - too often choosing to persevere and go for the belonging, so it's high time i started listening to myself and my needs.

and now it's over and i have an overwhelming urge to cry. the pettiness and the snark. i just can't take it from people anymore. i think these times have left me feeling raw and even a little bit broken. i don't have anything in common with several of these people. they don't give me anything, least of all energy and frankly not even just general kindness. i have to not second guess the feeling in my heart that it's simply not worth it. and the ones in the group who i do like, i can still like them without being on this board. the snarky, energy leeches take too much. 

in these strange times, we need people who give us kindness and creativity and energy and we need to stay as far away as we can from those who don't. it's really that simple. maybe that's the good thing about this time we're living in, it has given me a lot of time to consider what's important and who deserves my time and energy. damn, i want my two hours back.

standing with millions around the world

this group set off for the march around 8 this morning. we thought being at the last stop would make our journey in to D.C. easier. it did, in that we got to sit, but there were many unscheduled delays due to the sheer number of people. you'd think that D.C. would be used to this.

even just getting out when we reached our destination took ages. but the crowd was overwhelmingly chatty and positive. there was an amazing energy in the air.

escalators were all turned off, we guess that it was in the interest of safety. if the escalator was forcing people up and there was no room at the top, it would have been pretty bad.

couldn't resist a shot from the top - so. many. people.

father and daughter discussing technology

(husband was just upgraded from our original iPhone 3S to my old 6 and needed a bit of a lesson)

he's a keeper.

yes, he is.

just a little taste of the crowd. so much creativity on display - both in knitting/crocheting skills and the signs (more about those later).

i can't believe i was here today. such an amazing experience. so much positive energy. no one was angry or aggressive or even remotely making trouble. it was incredible and a little bit overwhelming. but also reassuring and empowering. and despite a bit of ugliness on a friend's facebook wall from the cheeto-supporter set, i still have hope for the future. i marched for the rights of women to choose what happens to their bodies, for equal pay, for equal rights for all, no matter their race, nationality, sexual orientation or diagnosis. for the climate. for the future. for the country of my birth. for my friends around the world, who also marched where they were. for my beautiful, intelligent, talented daughter. for my family. for me.

so great these two were there with me!! one of the most amazing experiences of my life!

i'm still processing the experience and i'm sure there is more to come.

good energy in the air

calamity drone

my lego movie minifigure collection is nearly complete. i just have shakespeare and gail the girl construction worker to go. isn't calamity drone cute with her fabulous hat? and speaking of lego, my head is beginning to fill with all kinds of input. not a whole lot of ideas as of yet, but i think i have to put a whole lot in and learn a bit more before something comes out. starting a new job is both exciting and exhausting. but in a very good way. tho' i thought the waiting would kill me, it didn't, and perhaps all that waiting even contributes to my own openness and eagerness to enjoy the whole experience. my new colleagues are so welcoming and positive i'm finding good, creative energy all around. i learned with that bad, bad job (i'm talking about you siemens wind power) a few years ago exactly how important that is. if the energy in the place is wrong, it will never be right. and i can tell you that the energy is amazing. 

so many thoughts are swirling in my head that i can't quite wrestle them to the page as of yet, but they will come. and i haven't forgotten or abandoned my february project, i'm just not getting home in time to properly photograph in the good light (hurry up spring!), so i'll have to do a roundup this weekend.

it's going well with the vegetarian month - there's even a big variety of vegetarian food at work, so i don't even have to be tempted there! and i'm sticking with the no wine thing too. i realize we're only 4 days into the month, but so far so good. it's easy to stay motivated when you're feeling positively high with good energy and new experiences. we'll have to see how it goes when things settle down.

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love this story about the captain of the mary maersk.

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and this visualization of the internet as a world map.