Thursday, September 25, 2014

in need of gratitude

things have been a bit rocky of late...i feel i've once again fallen victim to caring too much. but at the same time, i wouldn't be authentically me if i didn't wholeheartedly drink the kool-aid and give myself over completely. holding back is a rocky road of a different kind, so i don't regret falling in love a little too hard. but perhaps the honeymoon is over and we're settling into a place where it just requires more work, like any relationship that's worth it. 

if this were facebook, that would be vaguebooking.

but so be it.

i have a need to make a little list of things for which i am grateful:

~ colleagues who support me, make me laugh, listen to me, confide in me, laugh at my jokes, include me, ask whether i have a kitten for them (and then proceed to fall head over heels in love with said kitten), eat cake with me, and did i mention make me laugh?

~ my openness and tendency to trust people. it can bite me in the ass sometimes, but overall, i'd much rather be open and trusting than not. even if it means i trust too much and tell too much sometimes. so be it. i wouldn't be myself without that tendency.

~ cats. i know we have a few too many, but every single one of them offers me comfort in their own unique way. and we have a lot of space, so there's room for everyone. and i feed them well and provide them with all the services they expect. and they give me so much in return. the comfort i'm seeking and yes, even laughter, with all of their adorable playfulness.

~ husband. he talks me down from the ledges. he makes me laugh. sometimes from the very first words out of his mouth in the morning. this morning, they were musings on the human foot and what it would be like if we didn't have them. he's not normal, but that's perfect for me. and i'm grateful for him every single day. he never stops planning the next project and striving for something new. he gets me.

~ having a pretty fornuftig teenager in the house. fornuftig means sensible, but somehow has an extra dimension in danish, so i'm mixing the two languages. i can do that after all these years in denmark. and you all should be accustomed to it by now. and that kid, despite all of the many things she wants, is pretty awesome. and that awesomeness was just in her when she arrived. i don't think i had much to do with it at all.

~ awesome projects to work on. i'm learning every day and there is at least one moment every day (even amidst the rocky times), where i am just super happy to have the privilege to do what i do, to meet the people i meet, to work with the projects and people i get to work with.

~ the all-too-fleeting zen feeling, where i know that this too shall pass and it will all be ok, even if it wasn't what i imagined. and whatever happens, it will be a learning experience that contains a lesson meant for me. whether that lesson is to trust or to roll with the punches doesn't much matter, as it is my lesson to learn, either way. life is a matter of practicing. and i need to practice letting go of expectations and being open to what's next. it's gotten me this far. so it will surely take me to the next level. 

~ impending travels to seattle and new york city (for the first time ever) and also connecticut, where i've also never been. it is good to have plane tickets and hotel reservations and all kinds of meetings with a whole bunch of awesome people planned.

* * *

the hipster disney princesses are way better than the real ones.

* * *

john malkovich as...everyone.

* * *

speaking of bean makes an appearance in historical paintings.


Spilling Ink said...

Yeah, all that and I think you just described yourself as being what I call a "passionate person". The world needs more of them and I'm grateful for every single one of them including you. Better to trust and have your heart broken a little than to live your whole life in suspicion.

Tracy Golightly-Garcia said...

Maybe a visit to South Carolina??

Ariadne said...

I was in NY and CT this summer!Wow!Awesome places to be!AriadnefromGreece!

Joanna Jenkins said...

A first trip to NYC-- How awesome is that! I love that place and miss it very much. I worked in Manhattan for a number of years back in the day. It has such a fabulous energy All. The. Time! Enjoy and safe travels.

And John Malkovich. Those photos are a hoot!

xo jj

The Queens Table said...

Thanks for the Mr. Bean link. Those paintings made my night.

Bee said...

Better to be too passionate (and over-sharing) than its opposite. At least you know yourself and know what you need (and already have). That seems like 99% of the battle. At least!

New York City in the autumn is awesome!

Molly said...

Yes but, exactly HOW MANY cats??

Lisa at lil fish studios said...

I love this.