unbidden waves of nostalgia

me and a naughty pony of my past - clearly a second place pony with that red ribbon

the past few days, i've had some waves of nostalgia washing over me. i'm not sure i can pinpoint what brought it on and i've been trying to figure that out. it might be because i'm listening to the vinyl café - the simple, but hilarious stories of dave and his family are somehow nostalgic, as many of them involve memories. if you're interested, you can find playlists of them on spotify. 

it's also listening to the new podcast that obama has with bruce springsteen (also on spotify, i swear this isn't a spotify ad). it made me think about when i was introduced to the music of the boss - on a debate tournament trip in a van to the now-long-shuttered university of south dakota - springfield - when our high school english teacher/debate coach talked of the nebraska album. i'm not even sure he played it in the car, except maybe a song came on the radio, but i think it was in the days when things were still on vinyl, so i don't think he could have played it in the car. when that teacher's name popped up, commenting on a post on facebook, i actually sent a friend request. i wanted to tell him that the podcast had made me think of him.

my cousin, normally flitting about the world for her job, is stuck at home in california and sharing old pictures prolifically in a family group on facebook. many of them i've never seen before. it's kind of strange that she has so many family photos since her family's house burned to the ground when i was 5, but i guess other family members have shared pictures with her, as she seems to have a never-ending trove. there's definitely nostalgia in that. and i don't recall having so many family photos around from that side of the family - i guess my dad was the youngest of 9, so there weren't so many left when it was his turn to get some.

i even think that my grocery delivery company has made me feel nostalgic. they're tempting me with the first asparagus of the season (it's from portugal). and that, of course, has me thinking of my dad, who was known for his asparagus. my patch is a bit overwhelmed by last season's weeds and i'm feeling a bit guilty about that. the weather is rubbish this weekend - it's been sleeting out there off and on all day - really more like slushing, if that was a thing - or i'd probably have been out there weeding and maybe digging up the roots and moving them because they're not doing that well where they are. and  i'm feeling like maybe my dad is frowning down on how i've let them go. asparagus was his pride and joy. 

do you think the pandemic is making us nostalgic? i was definitely feeling nostalgic in the past week for the beautiful holiday we had in barcelona one year ago, just before the pandemic was declared. maybe that's it. i'm so glad we had that trip, but i ache to travel again. and to see friends. and to invite them over for dinner and play board games. and to not feel like i have to hesitate. and me, a non-hugger, might even miss hugging people. no wonder i'm nostalgic. we've lost so much. or maybe we haven't lost it, but we've definitely put it on hold.

comfort baking and other effects of the coronavirus

these are very strange times. companies asking everyone to work at home, restaurants and bars closed, public gatherings limited, libraries and other "non-essential" public services closed as well, at least here in denmark. i laughed when i first heard the term "social distancing" last week, thinking that the danes had perfected that long ago, so it would be nothing new around here. but it's not really the time for ironic laughter. the fact is, we owe it to those in our society who are immune compromised or in a high risk category in relation to the virus because of their age, to stay home and not risk exposing them the virus, should we be walking around with it, not knowing we even have it because we are asymptomatic.

just a few weeks ago, i was thinking that life had to go on more or less normally because living in fear is no way to live. so we went to barcelona as planned months ago, to meet up with the child and have a holiday together. i think if we'd known then what we know now, we would have canceled the trip. that said, i'm very glad to have had the time together. i'm glad to have seen the salvador dali museum in figueres, la sagrada familia, park güell and other gaudi buildings around barcelona, the maritime museum and the picasso museum. i'm glad to have found a super cute local bar, cuba de janiero,  that became our nightly hangout. i'm glad we ate ramen twice and tried the patatas bravas in every tapas place we went to and discovered the coolest healthy breakfast place and explored all those thrift shops. i guess if i had it to do over again, i'd still go. i wouldn't trade that time with husband and sabin for anything. it fits my lifelong ethos of "what are you gonna remember?"

none of us seems to be getting sick, so perhaps we were even lucky (knock on wood). spain too is on lockdown now, with curfews and closed restaurants and bars. i don't think barcelona is hit that hard as of yet, it's madrid and the canary islands that are fighting the battle, so perhaps we just chose the right destination. but denmark's borders are more or less closed now too, so we are lucky we got home as well.

and in the middle of all of this, i started a new job. late last week, when i started, there were no restrictions and social distancing had just been coined as a phrase, so i went to the office as planned. we had a team breakfast so i could meet everyone and i got a bouquet of flowers, which is always the tradition in denmark. and then, on friday, the word came down that we should work at home from monday and for the foreseeable future. that was a little bit weird, to have been in the company for two days and not even have everyone's names straight and have to be on my own at home.

so, i began this post this morning, before my working-at-home day started, and now, i'm writing at the end of it. it absolutely flew by, filled with countless online meetings via skype and teams. i definitely did not have to worry that i wouldn't be included or have anything to do. i have been cast into the middle of a very exciting, business-critical project that's been put in motion due to the effect the coronavirus is having on trade. what a great way to jump into things with both feet and and not waste any time. i'm finding it very energizing and it's very encouraging to see how very skilled my new colleagues are at their jobs. i'm impressed and feel very much that i have landed in the right place, even though i'm not actually able to go there right now.

i've read that the coronavirus is having a big affect on CO2 levels and pollution in china and in italy, where things have been brought to a standstill. and i can see firsthand the affect its having on ways of doing business. i wonder if it's going to make us rethink the way we do all kinds of things? and i wonder if those new habits will stay with us - will we travel less? will we cook more at home? will we keep stockpiling toilet paper? will the danes continue to hoard yeast? will we continue to engage in comfort baking? so many questions. not the least of which is, how long is this going to go on?

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tough times call for historical fiction, like daniel kehlmann's tyll. 

history is a matter of perspective

the angle taken by a museum is very often through the lens of where it's located. we went to the maritime museum in barcelona yesterday. since i'm currently writing about the long voyage from amsterdam to the cape in 1723, i'm very keen on learning i can about what ships and life on ships were like back then. i didn't exactly learn that at the maritime museum in barcelona.

it was a beautiful building, almost danish in its skillful combination of old and new architecture. the main feature was a 60-meter long replica of a galley, an oared warship, made to fight the ottomans in the mediterannean in the 1500s. those oarsmen were slaves and did not have a good life. the captain, however, did, with fine inlaid wood floors and art up in the quarters on the stern, from which he dictated the battle. it was elaborately decorated with both painting and carved reliefs. there was a medusa's head on the back, to strike terror in all who approached from the back. the figurehead was a beautiful carved neptune, riding a fish and covered in gold leaf, showing undoubted dominion over the sea.

it was a confusing exhibition, and hard to find the way through to see all of the exhibits. we finally did, but not in the right order of things and it did get a bit hazy as they leaped from those mediterranean incursions to trade with the americas. because they were focused on ships built in barcelona and the catalonian sailor in general, they skimmed over that whole thing with the spaniard columbus and his role in accidentally discovering the new world when he tried to find a new passage to india, undoubtedly because the spaniards couldn't keep up with the portugese and dutch on their well-established routes around the cape to the far east. (phew, that was a long sentence.)

there were displays about the trade with the new world and the goods that went back and forth - sugar, cotton, tobacco and yes, they even mentioned the slave trade. i think they handled it well. you stepped into a little room, where the walls were covered with official documents regarding the slave trade, and a whispered voice said that it was an ugly bit of history that no one really wished to talk about, but it needed to be done, and it was a dark time for humanity. those plantations in the american south could do with a bit of inspiration there.

and it all had me thinking, once again, about how history and how the story is told, is a matter of who is telling the story. maybe i need to head to amsterdam to hear their perspective, they must have a maritime museum there.

things which inspire

i took in so many impressions on my travels over the past week. there is just so much to be inspired by out there in the world! here is a taste of it...

fresh herbs in the boqueria market in barcelona

fantastic fresh fish

a riot of spanish strawberries

view from my window at lysebu, holmenkollen, norway

mosaic on the ceiling at gaudi's park güell in barcelona

from the airplane window, somewhere over spain--

i so want to try to draw the shapes i saw here

small, bright nosegays of painted dried flowers on la rambla, barcelona

it felt really great to get out there and see something, to study the contrasts between spain and norway, to observe and interact and to try to capture the experiences on camera, in words and in memory.

work in progress

ceiling of one of what will be five naves in la sagrada familia

modern relief door of the sagrada familia. i wanted to capture "pilat," since i have a fascination for pontius pilate from bulgakov's master and margarita

gaudi's la sagrada familia in barcelona is totally amazing. in fact, saying that doesn't even begin to express how amazing it is. they've been working on it for 125 years and it is still very much under construction. it's more than just a building or a church or a temple, it's a work of art. a breathtaking, mind-boggling, stunning work of art.

art and architecture like this doesn't happen today. there is too much expectation of buildings being finished quickly. there is too little experimentation. there is too little artistry in architecture. contractors cost too much and dare too little. it is a testament to barcelona that they continue the work on this amazing artwork. that they innovate gaudi's vision...as you can see above with the modern face of the bronze word-relief doors and the carved stone knight with his amazing, fluid lines. it is a humbling place, even if you aren't the least bit religious...you could nearly become religious about art and architecture visiting it. and it's somewhere that would be worth going back to again and again to see the progress and absorb the overwhelming details. it would give richly on repeated visits, of that i am certain.

boqueria market

dreaming of the lovely fresh produce i saw and photographed in the boqueria market in barcelona. what a fantastic place that was! we had rented an apartment in order to cook while we were there, but didn't end up doing so...in retrospect, it was a bit silly not to. it just suddenly seemed like so much to stock up on all of the olive oil and things you'd need to cook. perhaps i should have thought more simply. it would have been a lovely meal.

jarring transitions

i started my morning in barcelona. it was sunny and a lovely 18 degrees. there were several thousand madmen and -women running a marathon through its streets. a number of hours later, i landed in oslo, where it is -3 and snowing like mad. only when you fly do experience such jarring transitions. i'm not sure it's good for us, as human beings. how can we catch up with ourselves when the differences are so great?

lucky for me, i'm at the most lovely old hotel up on holmenkollen, sitting in the pretty, quiet lobby, all alone by a fireplace, so i have the peace and solitude in which to make the mental transition to match the geographical transition i made. one doesn't always get that chance, so i'm making a conscious effort to savor it.

the difference in culture between denmark and spain is quite striking as well and was another jarring transition. we noticed it already on the plane, leaving copenhagen. it was a spanair flight and full of spaniards. a bunch of them evidentally knew one another and they were talking loudly across the aisles to one another. they spent long stretches of the flight, standing up talking to their friends, sometimes several rows behind them. speaking quickly and loudly. it was strange for the danes onboard, who never speak in public unless they have to or are together with close friends who they've known since birth. it was really interesting that the cultural differences were so evident already there.

when you travel, at least when you travel for pleasure, you open yourself to the differences. i go into observation mode and try to take note of such things...like the rhythms of the language and the body language of the people. even there, already on the plane, it was evident that the entire rhythm of barcelona was going to be different than copenhagen. the pulse and the beat on the streets was more lively and immediate somehow. less reserved. part of it is simply that there are so many more people, but it must also have to do with language and the actual music of the language itself. people simply express themselves completely differently.

we noticed that there were danes everywhere we went in barcelona. and they seemed to be caught up in the pulse and the liveliness as well, as they too were more animated. they were talking louder and using their arms more as they spoke. so something in the spanish culture was catching. or maybe it was just the sunshine and the warmth.

and now, i transition back to the cooler northern climes as big flakes of snow fall outside and the fire crackles beside me. transitions aren't all bad.

going off the grid

we're headed for barcelona tomorrow morning. although i'll have a computer along, i'm not going to hook it up to the big old giant huge vast ginormous internet while i'm there. i want to enjoy what i'm seeing. and i want to write about it in my jewel-toned fabric-bound journal with triplus fineliners in rainbow colors. and i want to go offline. decouple myself from the matrix. but i shall surely share all of my impressions when i return. which will be sometime midweek next week.

we'll "see" you then.

a memory of perfect clarity

in may of 2003, i attended a conference in arizona. since i had attended arizona state and gathered an extra master's there, i had old friends to catch up with while i was in the area. one such friend invited me to a wonderful gathering which included others of his old friends. he was still in a ph.d. program at asu and so it was a very intellectual evening, which i remember very clearly and very fondly.

husband and i were making our driftwood people at that point and so i took one to my friend...a whimsical little man, holding a hand-blown shot glass which we'd once bought on bornholm in his hands which were fastened out of wire. usually our driftwood people have a quote on them, but it escapes me what his quote was and i can't, in the chaos of our house-in-limbo building project, locate the picture at the moment.

the evening was wonderful. a small group of 6-8 people, who had lived all over the world, all highly educated and with something interesting to say. i remember thinking throughout the evening that the only thing missing was that husband wasn't there to meet everyone and share in the discussion, because he would have loved it.

i remember that we had a very simple meal of gazpacho--it was, after all, arizona, and although it was may, it was already quite hot. i remember that soup so clearly, it was the best gazpacho i've had...with a hint of black fig vinegar in it and served with pumpkin seeds and other yummy things to sprinkle in. i've taken inspiration from it, although i've never really duplicated the delicious depth, and even when i make chili, i serve all kinds of extras that people can sprinkle in.

there was a couple there who lived in spain. the husband was an illustrator--an editorial artist, actually. he did illustrations for publications like the LA Times and the Washington Post. Very political, very erudite and very thought-provoking. my friend and i got back in touch recently on facebook and he just happened to mention that he was going to visit this friend and his wife in barcelona this summer. and then i mentioned that i am going to barcelona tomorrow and i'd love to meet up with them. and suddenly, i had their email and then today, i made plans to meet them for a late dinner tomorrow night when we get in. so, husband will get to meet them at last! and i'm sure that we'll have great food and great conversation. it's too bad larry won't be there! we might have to go back when he's there this summer.

it somehow strikes me that it wasn't mere coincidence that larry and i got back in touch and he mentioned javier and barcelona right when we were going there. too many things had to align for it to be mere coincidence. serendipity? fortituous circumstance? fate? god? interesting to ponder...i guess i'd like to think we make our own luck. but, whatever it is, i'm looking forward to meeting them again tomorrow night.