i have the discipline to write 750 words a day

for 37 days in a row, i have written a minimum of 750 words on 750words.com. i do usually more or less stop when i hit 750, but it's not always exact, i tend to finish my thought. and that means that as of today, i've written 30,729 words, 19,582 of them have been in february. i began mid-january. it's been very good, re-establishing a daily writing habit. i'm not sure how it slipped away from me the way it did and i'm grateful to have it back. i am very motivated by the badges you can achieve on the site. these are the ones i've gotten so far. in a few more days, i'll have the turquoise horse as well, for finishing the monthly challenge. maybe it's easier to complete when that month is the shortest one, but i've signed up for march as well, so i intend to continue.

and speaking of march, instead of my usual stream-of-consciousness, in march i'm going to write 750 words a day on our novel. whether i write a snippet of the story, or a character sketch or just a description of a location or try to capture a feeling, it will move us closer to shaping our story. it's time to get all those ideas that have been swirling in my head, fed by various readings, observations, discussions and research onto the page. this story isn't going to write itself and now i've proven that i can write at least 750 words per day. that adds up. i will have at least 23,250 at the end of march and that is definitely something.

confronting your inner demons

apparently studies suggest that up to 80% of our actions are driven by fear. that's a pretty scary thought. and it's no wonder so many people go down with stress. and if it's that high (i do need to check these studies myself), we're obviously driven by fear without even realizing it. i wonder if they count eating as fear-driven? fear of starvation causes us to make dinner night after night.

i'm trying to tune into that fear a bit more these days - especially where my reactions are concerned. and i'm realizing along the way how DAMAGED we are by the corporations we've worked for (and by we i mean me, but i'm absolutely certain i'm not alone). the way that companies work today is very bad for us - blame cultures, management-by-fear, competition within teams, even bonus-based systems - it's making monsters of all of us. and i'm a bit frightened by how easily those habits i learned in a corporate setting kick in as soon as i'm pressed.

i know, i know, i've written about this before, but it continues to be a struggle. a struggle to be a kinder, gentler person, while still being strong and competent and very good at what i do. and wondering sometimes how on earth to balance those things? why does being good at something so often have to equal arrogance and haughtiness? i don't want to be that way anymore. so i guess i've got to get to the bottom of those fears. but that's also a process. possibly one that will take years.  but they say recognizing the issue is the first step. (why do they never talk about the second, third and fourth steps? i think they're the hardest.) so i guess i'll keep taking these steps, baby-sized as they are.

it's not easy to shift your paradigms, but watching this the other day helped my thinking about it. of course, it's a TED talk. thanks elizabeth for sharing it.

market update: gone fishin'

everything's as ready as it's going to be, down to the tags. you might have gathered that i'm pretty excited about this market thing. i hope i won't have to report to you on sunday that it rained and no one came and that they hated all of our stuff, but i suppose there's a chance of that. regardless, it's been a great exercise for me. and i'll be listing in my various shops whatever doesn't sell early next week. and for those who want scarves, even if they all sell, i'll make more - i'm hooked and feel like it's the first thing i've made since the helleristning stones that really feels like something special. so watch this space next week, i'll definitely let you know when and where they're available.

the scarves are tagged and folded and ready to go.

since the whole market was started by the local fish monger, here at the last minute, i decided to make a little batch of fish. i bought the pattern in a local fabric store and am making them up of the beautiful cloud 9 organic cottons. i didn't have time to finish my nature walk plus quilt, but at least i'll have a few fish to show what can be made of these gorgeous fabrics (i'm going to have some fat quarter stacks available at the market).

i'm stuffing them with carded wool in keeping with the organic theme. and it makes such a difference to how it feels to work with organic and natural fibers and textiles. there really is a difference, especially when you're working with little fish that you're stuffing and handling quite a lot in the process. organic fabrics just seem warmer in your hands. and i like that very much.

more photos tomorrow of finished products. i've been so busy all day, i hardly stopped to take these photos. plus, the wind has been pretty fierce, so i couldn't go out to my quilt staging area in the garden. maybe tomorrow.  in any case, there will be many photos from the market on sunday.

thanks to everyone for the market well-wishes here, on flickr and on facebook!