Wednesday, April 21, 2010

april snow

110:365 "we have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake." - francis bacon

i was so dismayed yesterday as i drove into a small patch of snow flurries, just as i got near our new house. i was going to pick up the keys and drop off a few things. it seemed like a bad omen, that snow.

the house, now empty, seems forlorn. and i had another of those awful moments of the Enormity of the Project. since the first look at this house, we've been looking beyond what's there and concentrating on what we see in our minds - focusing on the potential and not the reality. but now that it's empty that reality is even more stark - sagging wallpaper, greying paint on the walls, low ceilings, the most awful silly putty color of paint on the kitchen cupboards (seriously unappetizing), i could go on and on. we have a five-year-plan for what we want to do with it, but five years is five years and we will live in it in the meantime. and that's just how it is.

but even more overwhelming was a sense of sorrow hanging over the house. the family we're buying it from is moving because their dreams and hopes didn't turn out as they planned and it had become a place they associated with those broken dreams. although i know this doesn't mean it will be a sorrowful place for us, that sadness is hanging there in the air. and it was very nearly physically palpable yesterday when i stopped by in the sudden snowstorm. 

i can tell you that next week, although we're not going to paint and fix everything (those pink cupboards have got to go), i can't wait to open all of the windows and let in fresh air and sunshine. fresh air and sunshine should go a long way towards chasing the sadness away, but some friends have suggested a ceremonial exorcism cleansing and i may actually have to do something along those lines. we have to chase out the previous sadness and replace it with our energy and happiness. and while i feel confident we can do that, things were looking a little blurry there for awhile in yesterday's april snow.

and now, in focus.

17 comments:

mrs mediocrity said...

Yes, I think a cleansing is in order...and I am sure that you, with your exuberance for life, will have the place filled with energy and happiness and many, many moments of perfect clarity in no time!
Great photos as well, love them both. I would take that as a sign of the beauty to come...

An Open Heart said...

GREAT photos, as always. I know I commented on the cleanse on your FB posts, but seriously, the cleanse or "smudge" works. If for no other reason than that you conciously smudge away the negativity. (It's fun, too, chasing away negative energy as an action).

You are a force of nature, so, smudge or not, you will drive away that negativity.....Husband, too.

S

My name isn't Evan said...

Enormity of the Project is correct. After buying and remodeling several homes for personal use I now think the best solution is buying an empty lot and having a custom home built to match personal needs and wishes.

Bee said...

I love the effect that you have created with these photographs. Those are definitely new buds that come into focus in the second picture . . . despite the flurry of unwelcome wintery weather.

I agree that a cleansing may be in order. For so many reasons. You need the best possible fresh start.

Btw, we are grounded in Houston until next week. Communications will remain limited; I cannot wait to get back to normal! (Although this trip has made me realize how much time I "need" to maintain my blogging habit.)

Deb said...

Husband and I moved houses a year and a half ago. We moved from a 3,000 sq ft house to a 900 sqft cabin in much need of work and tlc. So I get what you are up against. Especially to those whose home is central ...it's overwhelming at times. Add a new job and young child to the mix, It's understandable that the enormity of the task hits occasionally. I appreciate your friends comments and confidence in your ability to make this house a home...I look forward to seeing the transformation too. Love the idea of a ritual cleansing...such beauty and meaning to be found there. I'm so pleased to read that you appreciate the energetics of the home. Author Denise Linn's book, Sacred Space, has an entire chapter on moving into a new home and clearing/enhancing the energy of your home. Sending blessings and sunshine your way!

Char said...

oh yes....it needs some new memories and energy. i recommend bubbles of all sorts, champagne, soap, and blown.

Snap said...

A nice sage cleansing will do the trick ... open the house to you and yours ...

Zuzana said...

Beautiful post.
"Buyers remorse". That is what it is called. It will pass, I'll assure you.
Have you seen the movie " Under the Tuscan Sun".;) It is worth seeing. The leading lady buys and restores an old Tuscan villa. She says at one point, that one should take it easy in a new house, and at first pick one room and make it "yours".;)
I am sure the house will one day be as lovely as you envision it now.
But I agree with you on the snow, what was up with that?? It made me very depressed yesterday...
xo

BostonGirl said...

I've smudged each of my houses, either when moving in, or if I feel like there is negativity hanging over my space. I usually ask for positive things as I move through the house, the things I see for myself in that space. You could do the same for your family. Here's a useful description for you in case you need it! http://www.marcellaz.com/sage_use.htm

rad6 said...

Hi just stopped by for no apparent reason.
Good luck with your house. Who says that weather doesnt have input on our thoughts and feelings???
I hope that the sadness is replaced quickly and that your compassion for that family is carried through in my actions toward a stranger today!

Elizabeth said...

Cleanse the house before you move in, while you doing this think about the room as you envisioned it. This gives a new memory, new energy to the room.

Hold on to your plan and slowly but surely you and the keeper are gonna transfor the farm together with your `adoptive` family.

Hold on, keep on walking.

Jill C. said...

I agree, a cleanse is in order! I know that once you and your family put some personal "flair" and positive energy into the house, it will feel like "home".

cestlavietlb said...

Perhaps the sadness was to do with the house being empty, and it not wanting to be alone? As soon as you move in there and fill it with yourselves, that will vanish.

Lisa-Marie said...

Your snowy photos are beautiful.

The thing you can do for your new house is make it your own, and make it a happy place. Their should be comfort in that!

Kristina said...

Love the bokeh shots and I think they are perfect for the feel of your text...rain and new buds.
I agree with everyone else, a cleansing sounds good.
It is a huge project, but think of the amazing house and land you'll have when you are done!

Sammi said...

I am sure when you start fixing up the house your dreams will fill the air rather than their sadness.

its funny what atmospheres stick in houses.

Eliane Zimmermann said...

sounds like you will need some real good sage-incense to cleanse that sadness out of the place - seriously! before moving in you should bid the sorrow still lingering in those walls farewell. by the way: snow is water and water is an excellent cleaner the the omen might not be as bad as you think!