|are you looking at me?|
i had a really weird moment yesterday. an unbidden, unwelcome and unusual moment (more like an hour) of an utter lack of confidence. accompanied by a strange feeling of guilt. it was especially unwelcome because i was on my way to an important meeting. and i needed my confidence and belief in my own abilities. i'm working on a project that's very important to me - it's precisely what i want to be doing - think writing, travel, writing about travel - and the meeting was about the next steps of the project. so i needed to be my real self. not some hesitant, shy, strangely guilty version of me. luckily, i had an awesome friend to call - one who happens also to be my business partner - and she talked me down. and the meeting went well and all is right with the world, project-wise.
but i'm still wondering why i felt that way. especially the odd sense of guilt, tho' i honestly hadn't done anything i should have felt guilty about. at least nothing i could think of on a conscious level. where do these feelings come from?
do you ever have that happen? you feel alone and vulnerable and lacking confidence, even when you usually face the world head-on and are pretty angst-free (tho' admittedly you do overanalyze a bit)? or is it just me?