five things friday :: early august edition

on instagram, there's this #fivethingsfriday thing and instead of typing it all out on my phone, at the mercy of autocorrect, i have decided to move it over here.

thing 1:  i had freya spayed this week. she has been our primary mama kitty for several years now, but i finally decided that there are enough kittens in the world and she has worked hard enough as a mama. it was time for her to relax. but i still feel a little wistful about it. she made lovely babies - including paws mcgraw, her sweet daughter who i have kept (see thing 2), and who also was spayed on monday. it's a fine line between enjoying kittens and becoming a crazy cat lady. i know i did the right thing, but it does feel a little bit bittersweet.

thing 2: paws mcgraw - she's everything you want in a cat - curious, funny, active, dexterous (she opens doors), snuggly, talkative and out to steal any stray pony tail holder you leave lying around (or tucked up safely inside a zipped pouch). i love her so much. she's not molly or frieda, she's all her own, but she's in the same category as they are. some cats are just special.

thing 3:  arizona. next week, sabin and i are flying to the US. we will spend the week in south dakota and then drive her new used car (a toyota, of course) to arizona so she can begin her gap year before starting at arizona state next year. i am both happy and anxious. it's the next step for her and her bravery in taking it is everything i hoped and prepared for as a parent, but it's also a really big step. but at least it means we get to visit arizona regularly! and i'm very much looking forward to our road trip.

thing 4:  the way things have of falling into place, even in a time of great change and flux and turmoil and even when they seem like they can't possibly fall into place. my inner fatalist presbyterian thinks it all happens exactly as it's supposed to, even though it doesn't always make sense initially or on the surface of things. so much goodness ahead.

thing 5:  pondering my next tattoo. we have an appointment in tempe at black sails with the lovely lolo. i'm getting a typewriter this time, with a bit of color - to remember mom by and to remind myself to write on a regular basis. 

a little list to get my groove back

it's a very long time since i did a bit of bloggy visiting, but an instagram post reminded me of the wonderful and creative sandra juto's blog and she did this list, which made me want to do a list to ease me back into the rhythm of blogging. sandra is swedish, so there's a mention of fika, that delightful swedish custom of relaxing with coffee and something sweet in the afternoon.

do you?

have beer in the fridge? no, but you can always find white wine and tonic.

have a pet? anyone who follows my instagram knows i am a cat person and we have multiple cats. favorites are molly, charlie, sif, billy and kittens bob and bella (that's bella above). we have a few more outdoors, but it's ok, because they have awesome lives and we have 17 acres of land.

have a favourite sweet? i'm not really that big on sweets, but do regularly make chocolate chip cookies and if i have a sore throat, some salt liquorice is a good thing.

wear powder? no, but i do swear by becca's backlighting primer and mac soft & gentle highlighter for that daily glow.

have any plans for the future? we will eventually finish our house and it will be awesome.

have any "best" grades from school? it's starting to be awhile ago, but i always did well at writing and in my lit and literary theory courses.

have an addiction? it's probably white wine, but i also can't do without my kiehl's lip balm #1. and i would be very sad without podcasts.

have fika today? alas, i did not, which was unusual, because we often have cake in the afternoon at work.

wear nail polish? yes. almost always. these days, i'm into quite neutral flesh tones, but i can also do a nice bright blue or salmony pink.

have a friend who lives in another country? yes. lots of other countries. and i live in another country as well (thank goodness, with that cheeto at the helm) - for nigh on 18 years now.

who?

do you despise? i think we all know that it's that dangerously ignorant clown who is destroying the country of my birth.

share most memories with? at this point, knowing one another for 20 years, it must be husband. i would say my mother, but we don't share that many memories anymore with all of hers fading away...

do you long most for? i still miss my sweet frieda badida kitty and think of her often.

annoys you? rude drivers. people who are at the back of the line and rush forward when a new cashier opens. people who say, "ik' aw" constantly.

do you cuddle with? sif, she's the cat most likely to snuggle up and sleep next to me.

cooks? i'm the primary cook at our house, but i love cooking. it relaxes me. sunday evening dinners, where i throw together a bit of everything that i find in the fridge and in the garden make me happiest.

does the dishes? husband does, which is part of why i like to cook.

which?

magazine to you read? i just bought a digital subscription to the new yorker. but i like to pick up unusual magazines when i travel. things like tank or kinfolk.

bus do you take the most? i don't take a bus very often, but when i do, it's 34. i'm more likely to take an s-train to get around copenhagen.

day is your birthday? march 22.

season do you prefer? i've always loved autumn. it signaled the start of school (and i stayed in university for a long time), and i still retain that love for a new sweatshirt and the sense of a new beginning that came with the beginning of the semester. i can still conjure that feeling, just from the shift in the temperature and the angle of the golden light.

town did you grow up in? platte, south dakota. i don't think i could live there now, but i'm glad to have grown up there.

what?

are you doing right now? thinking that i should probably be wrapping this up and getting to sleep

is good about you? i have a lot of energy, am funny and generally in a good mood. i love sharing ideas and seeing what happens to them, without feeling too protective of them. i think there's a lot of power in shared ideas.

is bad about you? i procrastinate. i need deadlines in order to function well. i talk too much sometimes. if i don't like someone, i can't hide it.

do you want to work with? social media, fun content, people who give me energy, ideas, ships (luckily, i get to do this).

is most fun at the moment? being in copenhagen during the week and at home in the countryside on the weekends, hanging out with kittens and enjoying the garden. going on holiday next week.

are you wearing? a grey t-shirt with hearts on it and comfy grey lounge pants, both from primark.

kind of shoes do you own? i'm in total sneaker mode now that it's summer - faves of the moment are rose gold pumas, white pumas, green converse, light blue adidas. and when i'm at home, haviana flip flops.

is your shoe size? 40

are you reading? i'm half-heartedly rereading murakami's kafka on the shore and i ordered a book from the library on the history of the cia - legacy of ashes. i intend to take it on holiday next week. i'll admit that i read an awful lot of news online these days and it means i haven't been reading books much. that's undoubtedly not very good for me, so i need to remedy that.

are you going to do now? i'll post this and get to bed. tho' i'm actually sitting in bed, writing it, so i wont' have far to go.

well, that was fun. if you're still blogging these days, why not play along? it just might get you into the groove again.

* * *

reading this made me feel less helpless about the era of epic stupid we're living in. 

* * *

11 podcasts to brighten up your summer.

the joy of kittens

i think this batch of kittens is the one i've enjoyed the most. two of them went to their new home today and it's going to be a lot quieter around here now. it may be time to fix charlie, she'd had quite a few batches of kittens and maybe now she needs a well-deserved rest. on the other hand, she's probably the best momma kitty i've ever had. and she did make our beautiful sif, who might have ended up taking the place of my beloved and much-missed frieda, at long last.

arbness between coughing fits

i haven't got the heart to clean the outside of that window. those are frieda's muddy pawprints on it and i can't bear for them to be gone. not quite yet. i did, however, clean the inside of it, which you probably can't really tell by looking at this photo. maybe in the spring.

if the "recipe" calls for a box cake or store-bought dressing or jello or box pudding, it's not a recipe.

we finally saw star wars: the force awakens today. i enjoyed it, but i wasn't wowed. if you ask me, it all felt a bit too familiar...remote desert-y planet, cute, quirky droid containing a big secret, everyone tries to get their hands on said droid, guy in black helmet with voice modifier in torment, wise-cracking indiana jones type shows up, a visit to an out-of-the way quirky pub run by a woman who is ET's cousin by the look of her,  big battle where against incredible odds, a ragtag fleet defeats the baddies, ending left wide open for continuing sequels. along the way, echoes of lord of the rings with the odd horde of nazis thrown in. it's an odd mish-mash symbolically. highlights? adam driver as kylo ren, that badass rey girl, finn the former stormtrooper and carrie fisher as general leia.  and of course, harrison ford as han solo. there is comfort in familiar things. 

i hadn't had a bad cough in a several years, but i've got one again now. it keeps me from sleeping any appreciable length of time in a row. it gives my stomach muscles a good workout. and i'm very grateful it didn't happen a month ago, because if i'd had to cough like this right after my back surgery i'd definitely have insisted on being taken to the vet to be put down.

that's come up a few times of late.

i spent a lot of 2015 not sleeping enough and it seems to have continued into 2016. i hope to remedy that soon.

numbers 1 and 4 on this list are so much me. i'm going to try to remedy that this year.

2015 :: another year, another 365 project

taking a photo every day is just ingrained in me at this point, it's part of who i am. and i'm grateful i've continued to do it. looking back on this year, it felt darker and sadder than it appears in the photos. dad's death the previous november and the disappearance of my wonderful job after only one year were tough blows and it felt, for much of 2015, like i've been in mourning, and i suppose i have. top it off with the intense pain of a sudden back problem and subsequent surgery and it felt like the longest year of my life. but, my photos of the year, overall, are bright and cheerful. and that somehow makes it less heavy here at the end of the year. it's like the darkness is lifting. and that fills me with hope for sweet '16 - 2016.

january 2015

the year, as it always does in denmark, started with fireworks. and i can see that towards the end of the month we had actual snow! i didn't remember that. i was clearly in minifigure mode and they lend quite a lot of whimsy that i don't recall feeling at the time. but i must have been seeking it and taking comfort in it on some instinctive level.

february 2015

i found that royal typewriter on husband's favorite auction site and had to have it. we had one just like it growing up and it somehow, the clack of those green keys became connected to my dad in my head and i just needed it. as i recall, it went for a song, but i spent more than twice the price on the bridge getting there and back to pick it up. my old iMac gave up the ghost and i needed a new one. that was a definite bright spot, as there's nothing like a new apple product. other bright spots were time spent art journaling and in the company of cats.

march 2015

the light began to return in earnest. i went around with the sparkle unicorn fairy in my pocket, still obviously seeking some glimmer of magic. for my birthday, i got a chemex coffee maker and i'm convinced it makes the best, cleanest, smoothest coffee.

april 2015

april began with a trip to hamburg that got extended by a day and an unexpectedly lovely experience in a charming little hotel overlooking the otherwise seedy reeperbahn. we began working in the garden and we put the first of many coats of red paint on the kitchen floor. we had a batch of baby bunnies as well, because spring. a footbridge in sweden was named for my late father-in-law. that last photo? it's my precious frieda's pretty feet, perched on the edge of the sink, waiting for me to turn the water on for her. wow, i miss that.

may 2015

oh, the glorious color of green of a newly sprung beech forest. there's no better green. we hunted and found, at last, two pairs of the ferrell williams adidas - one for me and one for sabs. the first kittens were born and the glorious yellow rapeseed fields were in full bloom. an artist friend began to paint hens on our kitchen island because the red floor was finished at last. it was a rather glorious spring, i realize now, looking back on it. i was also super busy with my freelancing job, but oddly, that doesn't show at all in this mosaic. perhaps i was already distancing myself from the creeping feeling that lego had pockets of nastiness and i had managed to stumble into several of them.  i didn't realize it at the time. or perhaps i did and that's why i don't have any photos of the place.

june 2015

june was filled with kittens and lilacs and parties and visits and a couple of fun photoshoots. i seem to remember it as more rainy and dreary than it appears to have been. there was a danish election and the government changed from left to right (tho' the right is called left. don't ask.) and from slightly more forward-thinking to much, much more xenophobic and bigoted and even unfriendly to the environment. so disheartening.

july 2015

after our rather cold early summer, the strawberries finally appeared in july, a good couple of weeks later than usual. but on the bright side, they lasted longer. i made 20 liters of strawberry juice and filled the freezer with countless bags. we also ate strawberries and cream every night until we couldn't eat any more. i made strawberry ice cream and strawberry sorbet. and once the strawberries were done, the red currants began. our artist friend finished painting the kitchen island with whimsical chickens and a friendly fox. the first veggies appeared in the garden and the greenhouse.

august 2015

i was obviously a little obsessed with that little dinosaur in august. he was small and easy to keep in my pocket. the kittens were growing up and they went off to give an injection of new blood to a friend's barn. we made yet another shopping trek to hamburg (that was becoming a theme). sabin started at her efterskole (a kind of boarding school, emphasizing gymnastics).  it was a very good decision to send her there. she is thriving and growing so very much. oh, and there was that taco truck coming to town (well, to billund, which i will generously refer to as a town) - with real corn tortillas. heaven. a welcome visit from a fellow legographer rounded off a pretty good month. at the end of august, after coming in first runner-up for a new job in lego for the third time, i decided to look for jobs elsewhere, including copenhagen and on august 28, i applied for the job that i would get back in the shipping world.

september 2015

the visit from xxsjc prompted me to think i needed some vintage lego fabuland characters, so i went to ebay and found some. they are fun to photograph. the new minifig series came out and i bought a whole box. that was very popular when we went to our yearly family crayfish party in sweden. a neighbor called and said she had a whole bucket of extra porcinis she'd picked that afternoon. i oven-dried them to flavor winter's sauces. the plum tomatoes were going gangbusters in our greenhouse and i oven-dried a bunch of those well. most of my time was spent at our new library, painting a mural in the children's section and making coffee for everyone. i also painted a table for the teen/tween section with that magical annie sloan chalk paint. i definitely want to work with that again. a couple of job interviews and, one month after i applied, i landed that job in shipping.

october 2015

the magical amanitas came out, telling us it was really autumn. we celebrated my new job contract with champagne. and after being pulled back and forth through the ringer with lego and their horrendously slow and unprofessional hr practices, it was so nice to encounter a professional organization that could get the job done. our new library/"culture house" opened with a big party. more than 500 people came. i had arranged a quilt and handiwork exhibition as part of it and talked to so many wonderful people with wonderful stories that evening. my new job, even before i started, sent me and husband and sabin on a minicruise to oslo to "experience the product." it was pretty great! charlie had four kittens! her cutest batch yet. i started my new job, but only ten days in, i was knocked flat by a disc prolapse and experienced some of the worst pain of my life.

november 2015

most of my november was spent lying in bed (at least i had kittens). i couldn't stand upright for more than 5 minutes and walking, even just out to the kitchen to make a cup of a tea was a pretty overwhelming challenge. i spent a couple of hours in an mri machine and countless more consulting doctors and physical therapists. after getting somewhat the right cocktail of pain meds, i went back to my new job (which was thankfully very understanding) for as many hours as i could take. i even slipped up to the kusama exhibition at louisiana one evening, when i was in need of soul-soothing after an awful bullying letter that came out of the blue. some good friends came to my house and cooking a thanksgiving feast. i unexpectedly lost my precious frieda.

december 2015

december brought a new camera - a fuji x-t1 mirrorless camera. it's for work, but i took a load of pictures around home to get acquainted with it. i miss the multiple focus points of my beloved D300, but overall, it's a good one. i had back surgery december 4 and spent ten days recovering. i did go back to work and it went well, but it required a lot of energy. i even flew to amsterdam and back and sailed from there to newcastle and back and did pretty well. the worst i ended up with was a christmas cold. the kittens all found new homes and things have gone back to normal around here on the cat front, aside from the gaping hole left by frieda's absense. there's one ginger ninja sleeping at my feet as i write this and charlie, our little white mama kitty is resting at my side in relief that her mothering duties are over for now.

another year winding down. and while it felt like it was mostly lows, looking back through these photos, i can see that it wasn't. the tide of sorrow has turned, i'm quite literally on the mend (both my back and my wounded-by-lego sense of self) and looking forward to what 2016 has to offer.

how will you ring in the new year? with friends? with a party? with champagne? oysters? in a crowd? with fireworks? or just relaxed around the table with candlelight, cocktails, some good food and friends? we're definitely choosing that last option.

a list about right now...

~ a holiday cold - coughing, sore throat, mild fever, general aching. not really what i needed. husband has it too, but refuses to admit it, even tho' he slept in a heavy sweatshirt last night to try to sweat it off.
~ homemade ramen, featuring a rich broth made with the carcass from the christmas turkey and leftover pork roast has healing powers.

~ what if, of the 800+ photos i took last week, only a handful are usable? is that a good ratio? is it normal?

~ sunshine. a welcome sight after many, many days of rain.

~ cats are the greatest comfort.
~ i still miss frieda and her pretty profile a great deal.

~ watching making a murderer on netflix. it's like serial in television form and covers the two cases of steven avery, a trailer-dwelling, possibly inbred man in wisconsin who is rotting away in prison (for the second time) for a crime he very likely didn't commit. and the police/courts in wisconsin are shockingly corrupt and biased against the less fortunate.

~ this was fun! my nephew got the 2016 guinness book of world records and he found my name there for last year's lego minecraft diorama in london!

~ i've spent far too much time lying in bed for the past two months. but at least it's a very pleasant room - candles, books, warm (if unusual) colors (it was sabin's room before and she chose lilac and aqua 5 years ago), quilts, cats, plenty of devices for podcasts and streaming and general internetting.

~ enjoyed last week's trip with sabin very much. she totally knows how to airport. it makes me proud and it also made me realize that i'd gotten a bit rusty at it.

~ rough seas on the outbound trip however, were less enjoyable. 

~ enjoying reading all of the year-end wrap-ups around the interwebs. 2015 was kind of a crazy year, what with the madness of the republicans who want to be president, terrorist acts in the west, xenophobes running denmark, star wars (which i have yet to see) and obama really finding his groove (it was about time). 

~ i feel the bitterness i felt about a certain plastic brick and all their incompetent and possibly evil middle management put me through beginning to loosen. and that's a relief.
~ looking forward to sweet '16 (that's 2016) in a few days. i think it's going to be a great year.

* * *

how do corporations become evil?

i have some theories about this myself.

and oh, the tales i could tell.

* * *

the anxiety soothing store designs of right now.

embodied by amazon's first real store.

* * *

hey fellow moms, it's good for our daughters when we work!

so relax and enjoy your job!

harvard says it's ok.

* * *

this is a harrowing tale of a journalist who tried to understand ISIS brides.

* * *

the host of podcast note to self is incredibly annoying,

with her oddly narcissistic yet insecure way of presenting herself,

but she does cover some very interesting topics.

* * *

speaking of podcasts you should be listening to.

another round with heben & tracy.

being smart and funny, interviewing interesting people while drinking.

what more can you ask?

but don't take my word for it, the guardian even thinks so.

and if that's not enough podcasts for you, here are some more of the best of 2015.

i know i can never get enough.

* * *

abby bischoff photographs south dakota's abandoned places.

you know i love me a little ruin porn.

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cultivating creativity.

good to think about as we embark on a new year.

* * *

it's gotten so much easier to be an entrepreneur.

swept away by the winds of gorm

there's a storm raging outside. they've named it gorm. anytime there's the slightest chance of drama, they name the storm. and these winds definitely sound like they're hurricane force. i'm trying not to have my inner view seem as stormy, but it's hard. the week brought that nasty email and i'll admit i let it suck a whole lot of my precious energy away. then, on friday, my beloved frieda cat was coughing and so i took her to the vet to see what was wrong. it was much more serious than we thought - she had torn her diaphragm and the rest of her organs were pressing in on her lungs and restricting her breathing. to fix it would have required a complicated surgery where she had to be on a respirator. and it just seemed like too much - a cat on a respirator? and what would her quality of life be? so, with great sorrow, i chose to have her put to sleep. bitter tears were shed. she was a special one - molly's baby and my favorite (despite all of those kittens) - i miss her sorely.

friday morning found me at the back specialist, meeting with the surgeon and the anesthesiologist in preparation for my upcoming back surgery. when i left, i didn't know yet when it would be, but i woke up to a letter on saturday morning with a time next friday. a bright spot in the darkness of losing frieda. this continuing nerve pain has worn me thin and i find it harder to cope. so much energy goes to the pain, it's difficult to have any left for everything else.  and it hasn't helped that i had to stop with the high grade ibuprofen in preparation for the surgery. the oxycodone i was given to replace it makes me feel strange and doesn't take the pain to the same degree. ibuprofen is definitely the best pain reliever for me.

i've been trying to just ignore the pain and go about my life as if i were a normal person - walking around, going to dinner and a movie with my family, but admit it's not really working. we went to see spectre on friday evening and i had to fidget through the whole movie to try to find a comfortable way to sit that gave me relief from the pain. usually, sitting isn't the problem, standing is, especially standing still - as the pain is mostly in my left leg, thanks to the nerves that are affected. but friday evening, probably due to the change in meds, sitting comfortably was a problem. i even wondered if i should have gone to the movies at all. but luckily, no one was sitting beside me (on the one side) or in front of me, so i did get through it in the end. i think husband was a little annoyed by all my fidgeting, but he also knew i couldn't help it.

i will go back to work this week, taking it easy like last week. it was great to be there and i can't wait to be back to normal so that i can be fully present. there are so many fun tasks to do and great people to work with. with the sound of that wind out there, i think i could fly there right now if i put on a billowy coat.

there were other bright spots in the weekend - a beautiful thanksgiving feast prepared for us, here at our house, by good friends, who knew i wasn't up to standing in the kitchen for hours, but that i missed thanksgiving very much. it was beautiful food and great company and a silky pumpkin pie and precisely what i needed. we had originally planned it for actual thanksgiving, but work schedules got in the way (those silly danes have embraced black friday, but alas, not yet thanksgiving) and we had to move it to saturday. that worked out just fine. what's important isn't the day of the week, it's the company and the food and the candles and the wine and the laughter. and those go a long way towards soothing the wounds of the nasty email and the loss of my precious frieda.

it was good to pause and be thankful for the time i did have with frieda and being happy that i told her every single day that i loved her. good to be consciously grateful for how understanding my new job is about my back problem - they even put a couch in our nearest meeting room so that i could lie down when i need to and have ordered me a special office chair that's good for my back. good to take a moment to be grateful for husband and the days he's taken off to drive me to the doctor and for all of the cups of tea he's brought to me when i've been miserable and in pain and no fun to be around. and thankful for what a cool young woman sabin is turning into. and thankful for friends willing to prepare my favorite feast. in that light, that nasty email seems unimportant and just gets swept away by the winds of the storm named gorm.

charlie's latest masterpieces

our charlie outdid herself this time - having four gorgeous kittens! one looks so much like frieda, only she has white paws, then there's a little frankie tuxedo cat with white paws and lastly, two of her usual - white with spots of color (black and orange) on their heads. so sweet and wonderful! it makes us so happy to have kittens. and charlie's are always easy to find homes for. i'll admit i'm already scheming ways of keeping the little frieda look alike. i do love torties.

the view from sunday night

some time spent with sharpies. as a person who is utterly unable to sit down and meditate, the adult coloring books are the next best thing. precisely what i needed late friday afternoon.

frieda, with her eye on a bird out the window. she brought in two live ones, one dead and also released a live mouse in the house. she's very thoughtful and so hopes that pretty soon we'll catch on ourselves and she'll have to stop working so hard.

on saturday, betty went her new home with a young girl who appreciates her. it's always good to know you've found a good home for the horse. with the child away at efterskole, we decided we'd go out for dinner. we tried the newly renovated kro in billund and it was brilliant. totally unexpected for billund, but they have apparently hired a real chef and they made truly delicious, exciting, innovative food that delighted us and made us think and prompted conversation. this photo above, however, is our sunday night dinner at home - steak & halloumi tacos using authentic corn tortillas from the mexican food truck that now comes to...you guessed it...billund (it's like billund is almost a real place now) on thursdays. with mild temps and some sunshine, and a whole afternoon moving hostas (20 of them), i feel rejuvenated by the weekend. and maybe just a small bit of that spark i've been missing is creeping back in.

100 happy days :: day 83

two years ago today, frieda badida was born

she was molly's last kitten.

poor little molly was so tired by then that i had to gently wipe away the membrane so she could breathe.

i'm so glad i did.

she's quirky, sweet and wonderful.

and only occasionally expects to be let in the window at 4 a.m.

happy birthday frieda.

* * *

so many things tumbling in my mind to write about...ghosts, communing with the dead, what makes a good marriage (can you tell i'm listening to podcasts?), getting older, fears, plants, asparagus, peonies, gardening in general, memory, foxes, chickens, feathers all over the yard, buffy the vampire slayer, magic, painting, children becoming who they are, schools, whether it's ok to be the smart one, boarding school, summer holiday, content management systems, kittens...i could go on, but right now, it's all jumbled up. 

* * *

elvendale, not just where the LEGO elves hang out. 

100 happy days :: day 48

today's happy: batman-themed moleskines. one arrived at my door today. 

frieda, aka catwoman, approved.

100 happy days :: day 7

frankie - we miss you so, handsome boy!

this has been circulating on facebook and when it appeared in my nytimes "what we're reading" email this week, i knew i had to go through my extensive cat photo library and put together some then & now shots. and they are also today's happy. because having cats makes me happyl

molly - our minnesota kitty

frieda - from molly's first batch of kittens

tobias - we got him from a neighbor, so i don't have photos of him as a tiny kitten. he's our most dog-like cat.

scout - from molly's second (and final, since she's now fixed) batch of kittens

100 happy days :: day 6

last night i woke up soon after falling asleep, my throat covered in those strange dry spots that feel like you've swallowed a bunch of tiny little towels and which signal the onset of a cold. a dull headache soon followed. just breathing in made the dry spots worse, so i got up and made some licorice tea. i've learned to love licorice for its soothing quality. and licorice tea is naturally sweet and doesn't even need any honey, tho' i added a spoonful for its soothing quality as well. i figured doubling up on soothing was best. i tried to go back to sleep, but husband was snoring and it proved impossible for far too long. i must have eventually fallen asleep, but when i awoke this morning, the headache was still there and so was the sore throat. all of this is making today's happinesses seem a bit hard to come by. but, even with a headache, that is usually remedied by taking a good look around me through the lens of my camera.

right now, the little bitty dining room we fixed up last autumn makes me happy. there are a few baggy bubbles in the wallpaper (we just painted, we didn't redo it) and the carpet is utter shit (but odin only knows what's under it), but still, it is a happy and comfortable space. i love our green secondhand chairs and that oh-so-80s table, which used to reside in the city hall and which we got for a song. i love the blue felt table runner and the thrifted candle holders. and the little bowl (also thrifted) filled with scraps from a quilting project that make a perfect nest and some glass easter eggs that i've had for 26 years. and a few springy bulbs in the bowl i bought years ago in nogales. photo memories in colorful frames line one wall and art and maps the others. we eat dinner here. we entertain here. we play cards and board games here. this room can be quiet and contemplative or filled with laughter and love. it is a happy room.

and then there is this cat. frieda. she expects a rather high level of service, but she's also a clown and a sweetheart and she makes me happy.

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maggie may's post on finding meaning in life was wonderful.