currently

i am home alone.

it is blissful, but also a little bit quiet.

it's warm enough outside to have the windows open and it's 9:30 p.m.

spring is springing.

i'm listening to a half-terrible cozy ghost/mystery series.

sometimes that's just what i need.

i had a creative brain day.

it's kind of exhausting.

but also wonderful.

and also just what i needed.

husband is in amsterdam.

the child is back in phoenix (for the moment). 

it's just me and olga up here in the quiet bedroom.

i bought new sheets and a new duvet cover at ikea on my way home.

new sheets are transformative.

knitting an organic cotton sophie scarf. my 9th.

it's the perfect activity for the aforementioned half-terrible cozy mystery.

and for quieting a brain that worked overtime today.

i solemnly swear i am up to no good

i've taken to giving myself a weekly set of intentions. i write them on sunday night, occasionally adding to the list during the week, as i sit down to write a few lines outlining my day in my cool journal notebook. opposite the week's page, there's a blank page that's perfect for a little list of intentions. they're really a sort of note to myself, reminding me of how i want to approach the week. some items make the list every week. some are a bit cheesy, some strident and some a bit trite and tired, yet i seem to constantly need to be reminded of them. instead of just vaguebooking about them, i'll share this week's list:

~ carry the weekend's sunshine with me all week, no matter what the weather.
~ no obsessing over the small stuff.
~ no wasting energy in the wrong places, on the wrong people.
~ preserve my energy.
~ do activities which enhance energy.
~ spend time with interesting people who are doing amazing things.
~ learn something new.
~ read a book instead of my phone before bed.
~ work on things which make me tick; ignore (just for this week) those that do not.
~ see the possibilities.
~ stay in an authentic place.
~ stay curious. ask questions. listen, really listen.
~ take pictures with the real camera, even if you have to stop the car to do it.
~ try to see things from a different viewpoint.

i'm seldom very good at keeping these things in mind once the week unfolds. i fall right back into my old usual, judgy, sarcastic and pessimistic patterns, but i figure if i keep doing it, one day it's bound to stick. changing is hard, trusting is perilous, and going for the cynical laugh is just easier. but maybe this week, it'll stick - monday is over and i've spent time with people who are doing amazing things, spent most of the day doing an activity which enhanced my energy, been curious and asked questions (tho' i undoubtedly could have asked more) and i only obsessed over the small stuff a little bit. it would be easier to just take a page from harry potter and solemnly swear i'm up to no good. that's an intention for the week that i could keep. but i probably won't grow much if i do that, so instead, i keep putting these good thoughts out there and at least trying to follow them.

8 things

you really should sit down and write when the inspiration strikes, because if you wait and attempt to write from the little note you scribbled between the names of james bond films on a postcard that's lying on your desk, you might not remember what it was you actually wanted to write. that's mostly because what you wrote was "8 things." potentially quite broad. but what the hell, let's give it a whirl:

one.
the past week was a mixed bag of shitty and not shitty. shitty in the surprise layoff of 17 colleagues, two from my own department. none of us saw it coming when the company had just announced another fabulous result. i felt so much sympathy, as i've been there too. it's a reminder (yet again) that corporations are unfeeling, ruthless things and as such cannot be trusted.

two.
a week of below-zero temps froze over our lake, but sunny days this weekend melted it just enough on the top layer as to be untrustworthy to skate on. i had dug out the skates, made homemade marshmallows for hot chocolate (which the child characterized as bougie and extra), and was preparing to bundle up and head down there when husband reported the melting. i did go down to the lake to check it myself with my skate-clad lego penguin, but he was the only one who got to skate.

three.
it was a doozy of a news week. i find that i can't even keep up with the number of scandals coming at us. it's relentless, exhausting and at times downright bizarre.

four.
just the very thought of owning a t-rex costume has the capacity to cheer you up. putting it in your amazon basket can make you giddy. hitting order might make you feel downright elated.

five.
there is always another idea.

six.
sometimes your first impression of people is just plain wrong. and sometimes it's spot on. the trick is knowing which is which.

seven.
i'll admit, i had to ask if being bougie and extra was good or bad. she assured me it's good, like sephora. knowing how she feels about sephora, it's high praise indeed.

eight.
there's very little that's better than making a proper sunday breakfast - bacon, waffles, eggs and a big pot of tea.

i'm quite certain these weren't the eight things i was thinking of when i jotted that down on friday evening. at that point, i was tired from a long week and had just been to see the smart feminist comic sophie hagen in århus, and i wanted nothing more than to go to bed, so i didn't sit down to write then. you should probably always sit down and write when inspiration strikes, because it may never strike in the exactly the same way again.

a list about right now...

~ a holiday cold - coughing, sore throat, mild fever, general aching. not really what i needed. husband has it too, but refuses to admit it, even tho' he slept in a heavy sweatshirt last night to try to sweat it off.
~ homemade ramen, featuring a rich broth made with the carcass from the christmas turkey and leftover pork roast has healing powers.

~ what if, of the 800+ photos i took last week, only a handful are usable? is that a good ratio? is it normal?

~ sunshine. a welcome sight after many, many days of rain.

~ cats are the greatest comfort.
~ i still miss frieda and her pretty profile a great deal.

~ watching making a murderer on netflix. it's like serial in television form and covers the two cases of steven avery, a trailer-dwelling, possibly inbred man in wisconsin who is rotting away in prison (for the second time) for a crime he very likely didn't commit. and the police/courts in wisconsin are shockingly corrupt and biased against the less fortunate.

~ this was fun! my nephew got the 2016 guinness book of world records and he found my name there for last year's lego minecraft diorama in london!

~ i've spent far too much time lying in bed for the past two months. but at least it's a very pleasant room - candles, books, warm (if unusual) colors (it was sabin's room before and she chose lilac and aqua 5 years ago), quilts, cats, plenty of devices for podcasts and streaming and general internetting.

~ enjoyed last week's trip with sabin very much. she totally knows how to airport. it makes me proud and it also made me realize that i'd gotten a bit rusty at it.

~ rough seas on the outbound trip however, were less enjoyable. 

~ enjoying reading all of the year-end wrap-ups around the interwebs. 2015 was kind of a crazy year, what with the madness of the republicans who want to be president, terrorist acts in the west, xenophobes running denmark, star wars (which i have yet to see) and obama really finding his groove (it was about time). 

~ i feel the bitterness i felt about a certain plastic brick and all their incompetent and possibly evil middle management put me through beginning to loosen. and that's a relief.
~ looking forward to sweet '16 (that's 2016) in a few days. i think it's going to be a great year.

* * *

how do corporations become evil?

i have some theories about this myself.

and oh, the tales i could tell.

* * *

the anxiety soothing store designs of right now.

embodied by amazon's first real store.

* * *

hey fellow moms, it's good for our daughters when we work!

so relax and enjoy your job!

harvard says it's ok.

* * *

this is a harrowing tale of a journalist who tried to understand ISIS brides.

* * *

the host of podcast note to self is incredibly annoying,

with her oddly narcissistic yet insecure way of presenting herself,

but she does cover some very interesting topics.

* * *

speaking of podcasts you should be listening to.

another round with heben & tracy.

being smart and funny, interviewing interesting people while drinking.

what more can you ask?

but don't take my word for it, the guardian even thinks so.

and if that's not enough podcasts for you, here are some more of the best of 2015.

i know i can never get enough.

* * *

abby bischoff photographs south dakota's abandoned places.

you know i love me a little ruin porn.

* * *

cultivating creativity.

good to think about as we embark on a new year.

* * *

it's gotten so much easier to be an entrepreneur.

100 happy days :: day 83

two years ago today, frieda badida was born

she was molly's last kitten.

poor little molly was so tired by then that i had to gently wipe away the membrane so she could breathe.

i'm so glad i did.

she's quirky, sweet and wonderful.

and only occasionally expects to be let in the window at 4 a.m.

happy birthday frieda.

* * *

so many things tumbling in my mind to write about...ghosts, communing with the dead, what makes a good marriage (can you tell i'm listening to podcasts?), getting older, fears, plants, asparagus, peonies, gardening in general, memory, foxes, chickens, feathers all over the yard, buffy the vampire slayer, magic, painting, children becoming who they are, schools, whether it's ok to be the smart one, boarding school, summer holiday, content management systems, kittens...i could go on, but right now, it's all jumbled up. 

* * *

elvendale, not just where the LEGO elves hang out. 

50 things about right now (mostly awesome)

i totally copycatted was inspired by molly's 50 things about right now post.

1.  in a word, kittens. two of them, tho' we thought she had 6 in there, her belly was so big.
2.  sunshine breaking through.
3.  working at home.
4.  sitting for too long in one spot when i work at home.
5.  building excitement over our coming holiday in london.

7.  flowers in bloom all over the place.

8. did i mention the two perfect, tiny kittens?

9. awesome projects at work.

10. great people to work with on awesome projects at work.

11.  a trip on the (rather distant) horizon to seattle and then new york.

12. yes, me, in new york.

13. for the first time ever.

14. cold white wine in the garden.

15. and the odd gin & tonic.

16. the coolest business cards ever. and i have some.
17. long, light summer nights.
18. being invited to a party this weekend.
19. horses with fly fringe attached to their halters.
20. the antics of our pigs.
21. the child hanging out with her good friends.
22. the awesomeness being submitted to the turtle competition we're running on eurobricks.
23. these are the ultra-creative people i get to work with. all. the. time.

24. pinterest.

25. looking forward to molly's kittens.

26. yes, that's more kittens.

27. awesome neighbors.

28. summer visits from friends.

29. rewatching friends from the beginning on netflix.

30. shark burgers for dinner.

31. salmon burgers for dinner.

32. burger burgers for dinner.

33. berries to pick.

34. the strawberries are done.

35. the child buying a nikon D7100 with her confirmation money.

36. arranging lunch dates with friends in london.

37. and tours of oxford with other friends.

38. packing up the "dining" room so it can become sabin's room.

39. reluctantly. because packing all those books away again feels wrong.

40. our independent, awesome feral hen keeping her babies safe up a tree every night.

41. overusing the word awesome.
42. but it's because everything is pretty much awesome.
43. looking at the calendar to find the best time for a weekend in rome.
44. and maybe one in berlin.
45. did i mention we're going to london?

46. getting to write at work too.

47. mowing the lawn.

48. strawberry shrubs.

49. staying up late.

50. sitting in the golden hour light with husband in the garden, sipping a cocktail and talking about our days, the future, living abroad, the angle of the roof, and what to do with all these cats.

* * *

seriously awesome reflection photos by kiripi katembo siku

they are stunning and so full of subtext and depth.

a big thank you to molly for sharing them with me.

likes and dislikes

i started my day reading susan sontag's list of likes and dislikes on brain pickings. that led me further to a similar list compiled by roland barthes, which made me want to start my week listing (but not in the nautical sense)...

i like: the first, piping hot cup of sweet, milky tea of the morning. hyacinths in winter. nail polish. kiddie band-aids. pinterest. a stack of new books. yarn. washi tape. cats. new stædtler fineliners. making lists. sparkly things. knitting. reading. lego minifigures. candles. sitting by the fire. procrastinating. new shoes. dressing up. wearing sweatpants. airports. snail mail. petit basque cheese. coffee (starbucks, of course). learning new things. going to ikea. staying up late. collecting. snow. silver rings. converse. ships.

i dislike: taking down the christmas tree. waiting. cold tea (when it's supposed to be warm). tight flight connections. procrastinating. gløgg (or any hot wine). chapstick. marzipan. people who have no queueing manners. the jerks who drive like maniacs on our road. danes in grocery stores on a friday afternoon. not being instantly good at something. getting up early. going to bed early. winter rain (it's so grey and dreary). bilka. taking photos of things i dislike (hence the lack of mosaic for dislikes).

what do you like and dislike on this rainy, grey monday morning?

* * *

amazing art by judith scott.

proving artistic expression will find a way.

life lessons revisited

three years ago, almost to the day, i did a post on life lessons. on this rainy, grey, early dark (after the time change) afternoon we have going on, with candles glowing on the window ledge above my desk, and a contented cat in my lap, it felt like a good time to revisit the notion and make a new list. which is not to say that i don't stand by the first list, more just that i do love me a list...

~ words matter.

~ to appreciate the sunshine, you need a little rain.

~ time really does fly.

~ moisturizer is really quite important.

~ people will often disappoint you, but you will get over it.

~ it's good to see the place where you live through fresh eyes.

~ you grow more patient as you age.

~ but you also tend to take less crap.

~ you are never too old for glitter nail polish.

~ you are never too old to dress up for halloween.

~ nothing beats a logical argument. but those are few and far between.

~ so much of who your child is is already there in the child. it's up to you to nurture it.

~ everyone is pretending at something.

~ don't ever go to work for a friend.

~ a glass of wine has healing powers.

~ sometimes you just need girl talk (best paired with above-referenced wine).

~ it is possible to do something creative every day.

~ many of life's most satisfying moments happen in the kitchen.

~ spending time alone is good for the soul.

~ chickens are smarter than you think.

~ a good night's sleep will restore you.

~ there is always a good book to read, it's just a matter of finding it.

~ the internet is huge.

~ blogging is cheaper than therapy.

~ sometimes you don't know what you think until you write about it.

~ you're never too old to learn something new.

~ you can learn from your mistakes, but it might take a couple of tries.

~ it's totally normal to listen to the same song over and over again.

and that's my list. for now. play along if you'd like (please let me know, so i can read your list as well). it's surprisingly cathartic.

* * *

you never know who those people are.

if i were...revisited

if i were a month i’d be september.

if i were a day i’d be friday.

if i were a time of day i’d be midnight.

if i were a font i’d be courier.

if i were a sea animal i’d be tuna.

if i were a direction i’d be true north.

if i were a piece of furniture i’d be one of those awesome foldable swedish tables.

if i were a liquid i’d be chardonnay sur lie from delheim.

if i were a gemstone i’d be a sapphire.

if i were a tree i’d be a maple.

if i were a tool i’d be a paintbrush.

if i were a flower i’d be a sunflower.

if i were an element of weather i’d be thunder clouds.

if i were a musical instrument i’d be a saxophone.

if i were a color i’d be aqua.

if i were an emotion i’d be content.

if i were a fruit i’d be a mango.

if i were a sound i’d be the purr of a cat.

if i were an element i’d be hydrogen.

if i were a car i’d be a smart car.

if i were a food i’d be forest mushrooms in garlic butter.

if i were a place i’d be home.

if i were material i’d be linen.

if i were a taste i’d be salty.

if i were a scent i’d be sisley no. 2.

if i were a body part i’d be hands.

if i were a song i’d be sheryl crow's all i wanna do.

if i were a bird i’d be a swan.

if i were a gift i’d be handmade.

if i were a city i’d be istanbul.

if i were a door i’d be painted blue.

if i were a pair of shoes i’d be stilettos.

if i were a poem i’d be ithaca by constantine cavafy.

and don't forget to check how i answered back in 2010 and 2011. i had completely forgotten about this list, i found it by following one of my own link within links, which is odd, because that's not something i normally do.  it was rather fun to just listen to my intuitive answers to the questions. drop me a comment if you try it too!

haven't even made a dent in my list

it's one of those weeks. the list was long (two pages) and tho' i steadily worked on it, there are very few items that can be checked off. many of them just take time, but it's also because i did a lot of things that weren't on the list at all (maybe i need to put them there and cross them off to feel better). but on the whole, it leaves me here, on friday afternoon, feeling like i didn't accomplish much of anything this week. and a dull headache, i also have a dull headache. and it's been cloudy all morning, tho' they promised sunshine. the danish weather people suck, they just make shit up instead of actually trying to predict the weather. seriously, if everyone were as bad at their job as the danish meteorological institute (institute no less, the nerve!), this country would long ago have gone under. the norwegian weather service, however, says to expect sunshine later today, so i imagine my mood will improve. and now i'd better get back to that list...

happy weekend one and all!

a whole lotta gratefulness going on

there's a lot of gratefulness going on in the blogosphere and on planet facebook, so i thought i'd jump on the bandwagon, just for today. grateful for:

kittens.

fresh eggs.

people (who aren't me) who really care about details and getting them right.

lunch with old friends.

opportunities on the horizon.

possibilities.

music.

and people who are good at playing it.

storytelling.

books.

different points of view.

that the end of this awful election is in sight.

sunshine.

the dishwasher.

fish soup.

bacon.

fresh bread.

and did i mention the kittens?

* * *

happy sunday, one and all.

this girl: an update

thanks to some hints from bambi and her sister barb and their recent this girl posts and because i'm finally feeling like myself again, it seemed like it was time for an update of the this girl post (which, to give credit where credit is due, was started by the fabulous gillian ever so long ago).

~ hates righteousness, but can be pretty righteous at times.

~ needs more courage.

~ needs more discipline.

~ needs more practice.

~ needs less stuff.

~ needs to focus.

~ loves rocks and cameras and feathers and books and art supplies.

~ takes photos every day.

~ hates to capitalize. especially i.

~ talks too loud.

~ gets what she wants.

~ has a sneaking suspicion that it will all work out.

~ likes robots and eyeballs and embroidery floss and brand new pens.

~ wears blue nail polish.

~ watches too much LA Ink, Miami Ink and What Not to Wear on Discovery Travel & Living.

~ has a list of names to submit to What Not to Wear (with Clinton & Stacey).

~ should probably herself be on that list.

~ is superior and humble. haughty and kind. snobby and forgiving. messy and obsessive compulsive. thoughtful and oblivious. one big mass of contradictions. and likes it that way.

~ loves cats and horses and bunnies.

~ wants pigs and a few chickens.

~ goes to bed too late every single night.

~ loves her iPhone. and iMac. and iPad. and her nikon(s).

~ wishes stuff didn't matter so much.

~ wishes sometimes she didn't care so much.

~ is glad she cares so much. because it's what makes her who she is.