Friday, May 22, 2009

giving space for the madness


tons of writing to do (no less than seven pieces to finish), so what did i do today? of course, i cleaned and tidied like a madwoman. no more boxes in the upstairs hall. all of the laundry is done, folded and yes, even put away! i even made a dent in the exploded bomb crater that is my laundry room. but did i finish any of those articles? no, i i did not. did i work on them. yes, but only a little bit. i couldn't sit still when there was so much tidying up to do. tidying up of the kind my cleaning lady doesn't do--she cleans, she doesn't tidy up. there's a difference.

i envy people who live somewhere where there are no ongoing projects. no sauna going up behind their studio, no beds to be planted in the garden, no hallway to be finished, no pizza/bread oven being built their garden which requires the occasional consultation with husband and our fabulous polish contractor who we would like to adopt, no cords hanging from the ceiling where husband is putting up some lamps. people whose houses are in order. they can come home, sit down, relax. they can breathe. they can have a glass of wine and spend an hour with their book.

you'd think with all of the time i spend at home, since i do work at home quite a lot, that i'd be one of those people. but i'm not. most days, my working at home really is a lot of work. most days, i'm really quite focused. today, it wasn't as much work and focus as it should have been, but that's because the deadline looms. later this evening, or tomorrow, the right amount of panic will kick in and i'll sit down and finish all of those pieces.

i'm trying to be patient with myself, to just let this thing that i always do unfold. and hope that it becomes something beautiful...

19 comments:

iasa said...

Who are these Stepford families you speak of, with no projects begging for attention. Surely that is propaganda. I'm convinced it can't be done.

marathoner81 said...

I wish I would get the urge to tidy up before I can do anything else. That part of me is broken. I will literally do ANYTHING before cleaning.

An Open Heart said...

I think that busyness as a precursor of a project (or several projects) is a form of inspiration generator! It gets our minds focused, like a metaphorical house cleaning, as well.

And I don't have nearly as much doin' in my life as you have and I can't seem to keep my little bungalow in order any better....seems as soon as one corner is sorted out, two more become cluttered and in need of attention.

Have a blessed day!
S

McGillicutty said...

LOL, hubby dearest has been "painting" the outside of our house for three years now...he tells me there's probably just a good weekend of work left!!! So what'ya waitin' for mister???? then there's the baseboards also turning into a three yearer and our bedroom... forget it. I keep telling myself it's a journey, a hike, a trekkkkk a verrryyy looonngggggg journey!!!

Cyndy said...

"A wizard is never late...nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to." (Gandalf the White, LOTR)

I believe the best of writing comes when it means to. A little pressure from a deadline makes it even better.

WV: redneys: when your eyes are tired and bloodshot...

Vancouver's Enviro Girl said...

Tidying up is my way of clearing my mind of all the stupid clutter. Sounds like it works for you too. And the key to non-project houses is to rent. Landlord does all projects. You sit and sip.

The Fragrant Muse said...

The "complete" homes belong to 80-year olds with no children or grandchildren. Yuk. Who wants to live there?
FOUR years ago my husband added 1,000 square feet to our house so I work at home. Part of the project was my beautiful 4-room massage studio which was finished right away. The rest of the house, the actual "home" portion is still under construction. I want to tear my hair out most days.

As far as cleaning when you should be working - we all do that. It's the ultimate procrastination tool!

Just Jules said...

"people whose houses are in order. they can come home, sit down, relax. they can breathe. they can have a glass of wine and spend an hour with their book....." Who are these people? are they dead. I am afraid as lovely as it sounds it may actually be boring.

Meri said...

I think "tidying time" is time in which the brain is freed to ponder and plot and do the background writing. (At least that's my story and I'm sticking to it).

rxBambi said...

We've been in our house for 6 years now and it's still not done. Biggest project on the horizon is ripping up the carpet in the basement and staining the concrete.
As for tidying, I clean when I am mad at the world. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately) I am very type B, very relaxed and things don't tend to bother me. Ergo...my house is not always as tidy as it should be. I have dogs, they shed, deal with it :P

Pamela Victor said...

I always wish that I had married someone who cleans up when they're stressed. How nice would that be?

Char said...

ah, the ways we delay ourselves. i have no demands - i am missing them.

AquaSass said...

Without sounding accusitory or intrusive....what a beautiful household. Projects and sauna and new lamps and projects with your spous and a pizza oven!?! How fun and fabulous. Sounds like you have a pretty cool thing going on there.

~C said...

Am convinced Ongoing Projects is state of mind or else genetic & therefore inescapable no matter how many are actually completed.

Am also convinced that tidying up on a regular basis and not just when other deadlines loom is something only done by those who have nothing else more demanding/exciting/corn-related/outdoorsy/less-like-cleaning to do.

julochka said...

wow, you guys are making me feel pretty darn good about my procrastination! thanks for that!! tomorrow, i'll definitely be finishing up that writing. for sure. unless something comes up...

Nalina said...

Don't worry, I'm sure we can expect another deliciously captivating post from you. I'm new to blogger and already I'm hooked on your writing! And it's alright since most of us love to procrastinate anyways...atleast I do!

Molly said...

tidying is the ULTIMATE procrastination and there's nothing like a right-down-to-the-nail-biting-deadline to really kick your ass into gear! whereafter you'll write better than you would've before, and exhaust yourself for the rest of the weekend. god we're alike. :)

Sarah Lulu said...

....it's already something beautiful.

Amanda said...

the most gorgeous photos! I love them, and you and your procrastination. It ALWAYS results in wonderfulness!