Sunday, January 03, 2010

waiting



"A needle creates an intersection each time it pierces fabric," i read on the bee creative blog last evening. and it's been haunting me all day in a lightly different version which was the product of faulty memory on my part: "a needle creates an intersection in time when it pierces fabric."

i've been thinking again about memory and quilts and whether cloth can hold memories. i've got most of sabin's baby clothes washed up and sorted now. i gave two boxes of them (including some, but not all of the shoes) to the local version of the good will just before christmas. i hope someone was able to get good use of those little silver nikes in their original box. the rest of the freshly laundered little clothes are waiting and ready for me to dive in and begin cutting them up to make a memory quilt for sabin. but i fear that's going to be difficult as well. every time i even imagine cutting into those sweet little shirts and pants and dresses, my breathing gets shallow and my heart pounds.

so, while i work up my courage, i'm turning again to embroidery and applique. yesterday, i spent hours (far too many hours), perusing inspiring blogs and flickr photostreams. i am drawn again and again to jude hill's beautiful spirit cloth creations and from her, i found an inspiring window piece on emergence, some beautiful little woven pieces on wake robin, arlee barr's inspiring stitching on albedo, thoughtful stitching on mnemosyne's threads, and the aforementioned bee creative. so much goodness that i was completely overloaded with inspiration.

so i took a scrap of fleece from my latest baby quilt, cut it into a heart and began to satin stitch it to a scrap of nearly black wool with hand-dyed thread i bought here while we watched midsomer murders last evening. a whole day of soaking in inspiration and all that came out of it was a simple little plain heart. i chose the imperfectly focused shot of it above because i think it underlines nicely where i'm at with this one. and where that is is that i'm not sure where i'm at - things are a bit fuzzy. i don't know what it will become. or even if it will become.  it's sort of a waiting piece. waiting while i find courage to create what i really want to create. waiting while i find the courage to do what i really want to do.

9 comments:

Gwen said...

Ahh, courage. I could use some of that, I think. In the meantime, the little blue heart is just right, just enough.

Michelle said...

Julochka - I am impressed. You are very evolved (imho) to name the waiting, and to be okay with waiting. Much more zen and mature than racing around flustered, all the while demanding that courage present itself to you on the spot and getting frustrated by its absence. Well done my friend, well done. - Michelle

jude said...

a great start i would say... waiting is fine. i always find that if i keep what i am working on in my mind.. it evolves, it almost seems unintentional. the best thing is to surround yourself with wonderful scraps.. things that are just itching to be used. little pieces that have some kind of meaning... anyway i am rambling...stitch on.

The Fragrant Muse said...

It seems that the courage is more in the waiting than the execution. Once you get that inner signal, that particular knowing what you are to create, there will be no stopping you.

jacqueline said...

there is nothing wrong with waiting. have a good sunday my friend.

Cyndy said...

Patience, shmatience. It is tough to wait, although I am sure your 'distractions' will provide the perfect clarity when it is time.

I love the blanket stitch! At first I thought they were fuzzies coming off of the heart! The progressively different colored thread is perfect.

All you touch seems to turn to gold...or rainbows, at least...

smith kaich jones said...

Julie - I love your posts where your heart is all out front for us to see. Voyeur that I am. :) Years ago, a close friend lost her husband - unexpected, a shock. 2 weeks later, she was diagnosed with cancer for the 2nd time. A hard, hard time for her, the letting go, the grieving, the trying to heal. Her relief and healing came in the form of quiltmaking using her favorites of her late husband's shirts. So, yes, yes, fabric holds memories. Take your time, use what you want. After watching my friend get better and live to fight cancer a 3rd time, and, btw, she is still here, cancer free for 5 or 6 years now, I believe in the power of those memories. The day will come when you are ready, the quilt will be born, and when Sabin is an old woman, the quilt will recall so many things for her. How fabulous that will be for her.

:) Debi

arlee said...

a heart reaching with many little fingers--i do like this--and variegated floss makes things more fun, more alive :}

Deb G said...

I like how you remembered it too. I think the beauty of creating can be in how things change and transform from one person to another.... And yes, cloth holds memories.