expectations, they'll kill you in the end. humans are unpredictable and disappointing. i'm trying to learn to let go of them (the expectations, not the humans), but it's an uneven process. and some things are harder to let go of than others. matters of personal integrity, for example. and no matter how much you conduct yourself with honesty and integrity, there will always be people in your path who do not and they will view you through their own clouded glasses, assuming that you must be like them.
additionally, you can never underestimate people's need for their albanian (you know, that person they feel superior to). and if you happen to be the only one in the group who isn't a member of the tribe, you will likely, whether you deserve it or not, become that albanian. and it will royally piss you off. and by you, you might have guessed, i mean me. and you will have vivid moments where you imagine indulging your inner slayer. and you think, buffy wouldn't take this shit, she'd kick some serious ass. so you do decide to stand up for yourself. but you still can't help but feel like it's all been a case of junior high-style bullying. but this too shall pass. and there truly are bigger and better things to look forward to.
like sabin's birthday tomorrow. she'll be 12! it all goes so fast. but we spent the afternoon making cupcakes together. a sort of a rainbow theme (it's apparently what her classmates requested). i've gone easy on the presents, she doesn't have much she really needs, but of course she needs a few treats. so she will have them, along with the dinner of her choice. and the bunnies just might surprise her by having their babies tomorrow - there was a lot of nest-building going on today. and she will have another cake since she's taking all of the cupcakes to school. happily, we're allowed to do that here (i've heard there are places where homemade treats aren't allowed). so at least there's still common sense on that front and that's something.
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such beautiful, inspiring work: