Thursday, January 29, 2009

i don't look like who i am

i feel sometimes like i'm not selective enough. not critical enough. don't think things through enough. yes, me, who can come off snobbish, cutting and over analyzed...the problem is that i don't necessarily look like who i am.  i mean, seriously, who has freckles only on one side of their face?

just as an example--i fall too easily into those invites for my photos to be part of groups of flickr--i'm so flattered that someone wants me to be part of the group that i don't even look at the other photos in the group before i submit it, just immediately click submit. i should be more choosy than that.

part of it is flattery. i'm a sucker for it. i'm easy. i remember once we were in prague and i had let husband answer the inevitable "where are you from?" question from some vendor at a glass stand. of course husband answered "denmark." then, a few minutes later, the guy trying to sell us some whimsical martini glasses complimented my english. for a second, i blinked like a purring cat and felt flattered, then i remembered that of course my english was good, i was a friggin' native speaker. and then we bought six martini glasses. they were, after all, very whimsical.

it's no doubt a product of growing up in a small town. in a small town, what people think of you matters. you're at the mercy of public opinion for your standing and position. belonging is everything. of course, now i've lived more of my life outside that small town than in it, but somehow, that need to belong never wears off.

anybody got some advice for removing freckles?


Just Jules said...

According to the Essential Oils Desk Reference:
Young Living Essential Oil -
Idaho tansy

Topical: Dilute, 4-6 drops in 1/2 teaspoon of high grade, unperfumed skin lotion. Spread lightly over freckle areas. Use 2-3 times weekly.

Just Jules said...

Now, as far as fighting the "what will they think of me" issue... that is something I think we all struggle with. How do you seem unconcerned and not bitchy?

Tara Thayer said...

I think there is some bad karma in the blog water today. Several of us are feeling low, I think, No doubt for a range of reasons, but let's buck up, shall we.
I don't worry about what anyone thinks of me until I hear it, and then, yikes! Stricken.

I think the freckles should stay, Julie.
Take care, tt

Maggie May said...

you're beautiful

tangobaby said...

I like your freckles. But I'm guessing you used to be in the driver's seat during some pretty sunny times, years back.

I'm assuming I'm your only licensed esthetician blogging friend, so I'll save the skin care advice here and send you a long email.

And you have a great smile.

Jane said...

Don't hate your freckles! I have freckles and I love them. We wouldn't be ourselves without them!

Sebrina Wilson said...

Your freckles are lovely!! They make you.. you :-) And I hear you on the compliments. I have fallen into the same trap lately.

(My word verification is "stopepsi" :-)

julochka said...

thanks everyone...i do actually kinda like the freckles too, it's just that i wish they were a little more evenly distributed, not just on the left side. i think my mom left me lying in the sun as a baby because it's always been that way, even before i began driving, which we did at 14 in south dakota where there's nothing to run into.

basically, i was just using the freckles for comic effect and because it's so obvious in this pic that they're only on one side.

Molly said...

Someone recently enlightened me to this:
'What other people think of you is none of your business.'
I've been contemplating it for some weeks and it's actually waaaaay deep. And true.
Think on that....

Barb said...

I got you on the freckles. Had them my whole life - my dad used to say they were beauty marks ~ DUH!!! For years as a teenager, I used to rub lemon juice all over my face. Interesting at 55 I don't really have freckles anymore. Maybe the lemon juice worked. BTW, I too love your freckles, they're you. Barb

Bee said...

I had tangobaby's thought about the freckles, too. (I have more sun damage on the left side of my face.) They do give you a unique look, though!

Your anecdote about your English language skills amused me. I have a friend here who is very discriminating/snobby about who she befriends, and she once got disgusted with me for saying that I'd be friends with anyone who was nice/friendly to me. (As with many things in life, there is a good and bad side to everything.)

Me said...

I just discovered your blog, and now "I" have a blogcrush! As for the freckles, I totally DIG the one-sided thing! It's like having eyes of different colors, or white spots in your hair, or some other anomaly that people can't MAKE! Well, I'm rather stubborn about NOT seeking approval--I do love approval, and I am often let down when I do something that makes me happy (crafts), but I don't seek it. I teach 7th graders, too, and I stand strong by the ones that are individualists. Life is a joyous journey (in amongst the rocks and horrors) and we need to get over the urge to "correct" what we deem "broken." LOVE the freckles! Now I'm trying to find out where you are from; seems like lately the most interesting people on the internet (to me) are from Northern Europe.

Elizabeth said...

Everyone is at mercy of public opinion. That's one thing we can't escape unless you can escape every animal living on this planet.