Sunday, January 18, 2009

testing jason

when husband heard that my sister was bringing her new boyfriend over for a visit, he immediately began scheming all sorts of elaborate plans for putting jason to the test. he remembered when he was first brought into the family fold and all of the tests he went through...he painted a small barn, he mowed my parents' enormous lawn (it's very nearly so big that when you're done it's time to start again on the part where you started), he was put on the back of a horse, he was sent to the river with what turned out to be a battery-less jetski and asked to troubleshoot getting it started. all sorts of man tests. so he eagerly looked forward to passing along the tradition.

since it's winter and jason couldn't be asked to mow the lawn or paint the house, husband's thoughts immediately turned a bit more towards elaborate practical jokes. we moved from testing to hazing. and he enlisted the help of his sister.

it just so happens that she works in a sterile environment at a pharmaceutical factory, packing the medicine for distribution. it's one of those hyper clean, FDA rules covering every aspect, kind of places. you wear white sterile suits and special footwear, your hair is covered. so husband cooked up a scheme in which we would go visit his sister at her home for dinner, but when we arrived, we would all put these suits on as if it were perfectly normal.

mid-afternoon, husband called me. the rest of us were enjoying a hot cocoa and a latte at the local cafe. he told me that the dept. where his sister worked had some special warning to their employees about contact with people from the US and africa due to some bacterial outbreak fears. he said our visit to his sister that evening was in jeopardy because she didn't want to violate any rules her work laid down and jeopardize her job in these tough economic times. i asked him to keep me posted and passed this along.

a couple of hours later, when husband came home, he said that his sister had called and that she had gotten permission from her manager to go ahead with our dinner plans at her house, but that we would have to take some precautions and answer a questionnaire when we arrived. one of those questionnaires like when you enter a country.."have you been in a farm in the past two weeks," and the like.

when we arrived, we peered in the glass door to see husband's sister and her family, all clad in the white sterile suits. out on the stoop were a basket of suits for us and some pretty candles. we were to put on the white suits over our clothing before going in.

husband's sister and her family, also protective suit-clad, waited in the entry-way. we could go in as we got our suits on. my sister had difficulty not laughing. and jason kept telling her to be nice.

soon jason was ready to begin answering the questions.  at first, they seemed serious, but grew increasingly preposterous, as we moved towards the reveal that it was a practical joke.

husband read the questions from a big binder, since he had to translate.

at "do you like pork roast, children and the danish flag? it begins to dawn on jason that something's up.

"how do you feel about practical jokes?"

and being a super good sport! even still being willing to hug monica despite her being in on it.

and a big hug for the hostess.

we all had a great laugh, confirmed that jason is awesome and proceeded to have a wonderful evening together, eating a very danish pork roast and drinking far too much wine, beer and port.

and husband felt he had done his part to welcome jason to the family.

including our motto--what are you gonna remember?


Sebrina Wilson said...

Omgosh That is so funny!!!! I love it :)

Anonymous said...

This was priceless!

Meri said...

He's definitely a keeper!

My youngest son went to a small private school. His graduating class had 66 students and was extremely close knit. They were all such brilliant and compassionate kids. Anyway, one of the girls invited a boy from another school to a dance. There was a gathering before the dance at her house. When her date arrived, the other boys there (about 5 of them) took him into the den and grilled him on his character and his intentions towards Erin. They were just looking out for their friend, but the young man was never seen again after the close of the evening. He definitely WASN'T a keeper.

Just Jules said...

I hope tea doesn't ruin keyboards because I just spit some while reading this and laughing!

Bee said...

Very funny story! Your family sounds wildly creative when it comes to making sure that "new ones" are good sports -- with a corresponding sense of humor.

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Anonymous said...

My dad, your uncle "Red" would have LOVED this story. Practical jokes run deep in our family - it must be a Nachtigal thing. This is hilarious - priceless. With your writing style, I felt like I was there, but without the jetlag.

Barb said...

Loved this story. Glad Jason was a good sport.

Maggie May said...

you're family ROCKS!