Tuesday, February 16, 2010

things i hate

things i hate:

~ sleeping badly.
~ feeling incompetent.
~ not being instantly good at everything.
~ feeling frustrated.
~ feeling made fun of.
~ asking for help when i should be able to figure it out myself.
~ being dismissed when i actually do finally ask for help.
~ ten years of cultural oppression by a cold and closed culture that's not my own and which is prone to dismissing anyone who is not family or someone they met when they went to kindergarten together.

when these things happen all at once, watch out.

and i decided january 1 that i wasn't going to be quiet about it anymore when i felt dismissed and negated as a human being by this culture in which i live. and so it wasn't that pretty this evening when all of these things happened at once.

i was having trouble with a simple task at weaving and after trying on my own for ten minutes, i finally asked for help from one of my fellow students. it was actually a really simple task and all i needed was about 10 seconds of help, just to get me started. the person i asked totally waved her arms and dismissed me so she could continue her endless stream of chat standing at someone else's loom and then as i walked away, muttered something under her breath about me. and i can tell you that it made me very angry. and i can tell you that she and everyone else present now know how angry it made me.

and i can also tell you that i'm not sorry. treating people as if they are invisible or stupid just because they're not native speakers of your language is not cool. is. not. cool. and i won't enable you do it to me anymore.

please note that i am not at all complaining about my weaving teacher, he's amazing and helpful and kind and patient. this was a fellow student who did this, and it's her and only her i'm complaining about. :-) just for the record.


paris parfait said...

Good for you! It can be so frustrating when people are dismissive for no reason. I'm glad you spoke up for yourself.

Must be something in the air. I just spent a frustrating 100 minutes looking for a critical document, only to find it was in the first place I looked, buried inside folds of fabric! Sigh.

Tomorrow is another day, as Scarlett said. Onwards and upwards! xo

sas said...

weaving teacher = pain in the ass!

julochka = all kinds of awesome.


will said...

The rebellion starts at midnight. Pass it on.

Oh, and just kick the human doorstops to the curb.

jude said...

people are very frustrating.

Char said...

rock it sistah

Sammi said...

Good for you, Julie!

I used to get like that. Being able to swear at them in their own language, and dialect, used to be my come back..

laura may said...

You sounds alot like me. The things you listed are my own agitations. I admit though, I cannot completely empathise with the last point. But I think you have a great outlook on things. So, good for you.


Pamela Terry and Edward said...

Personally, I think everyone on earth should be required to spend a month or so in a country that is unfamiliar, and one in which they do not speak the language. I think it could only breed compassion, and perhaps help eradicate arrogance. If only.

http://howtobecomeacatladywithoutthecats.blogspot.com said...

ARGHHH! Why are people so rude and arrogant? I hate that. We all have our strengths and our challenges and the best we can do is help each other and accept each other as we are. Your weaving teacher obviously never learned this.

Anonymous said...

feeling incompetent - thats what i am feeling right now. and i hate feeling this way.

rxBambi said...

I'm sorry she did that. I agree, it's totally uncalled for. Amazing how mean people can be. I'd offer to put a hex on her, but that didn't work out so well. Next time kill her with kindness, I find that knocks them off kilter and usually works.


cat said...

Good for you!

I believe in standing up for yourself. People need to know that it is NOT okay to treat others as beneath them and without compassion. Unacceptable, no matter what.

Great post.

stephanie said...

Hey! I hate all those things, too! And if it had been it would have taken all the willpower I had (and then a little extra from somewhere) for me to not get in that persons face. I don't deal well with cruddy treatment for no good reason.

Good job you for not taking that kind of treatment. And it kind of makes me sad this happened since just the other day you mentioned how great your weaving group is. Hopefully it doesn't become a trend in your class.

Mari Mansourian said...

you go girl... way to stand up for yourself...maybe next time they will think twice about ignoring you... :)

Barb said...

I'm sorry that happened but I'm sooo happy you stood up for yourself! Good for you. I also hate intolerance. Maybe you should have Bambi try out that hex. :)

Sandra said...

10 years is a long time to put up with this. I imagine it was quite a spectacular coming to terms you had. I think, long overdue.

Bron said...

oh, it sucks when people are so rude!
Good for you letting them know that you won't put up with it!
But gosh your photo today is pretty!

heidikins said...

I don't know how to say this without coming off as trite--but you, m'dear, are a RockStar.


Elizabeth said...

Wish I was a fly on the wall when the capsule of 10 years of Danish sociability opened.
The question is: Will they open the door for you now?

Another nydansker

Elisa @ Globetrotting in Heels said...

Good for you!
And oh man, could I have written this myself several times a year for every year I've lived in Switzerland.

I swear, when I read "ten years of cultural oppression by a cold and closed culture that's not my own and which is prone to dismissing anyone who is not family or someone they met when they went to kindergarten together."

I swear I thought you were talking about Switzerland. I had no idea it was the same in Denmark. That's exactly how it is here, and it makes it really hard to to feel at home and integrate.

julochka said...

thank you for the outpouring of sympathy and support everyone! i just want to note that this was NOT my weaving teacher who did this, but a fellow student. I LOVE my weaving teacher, he's amazing!!!

Lisa-Marie said...

I am proud of you. I'm all for walking away from pointless battles, but you should NEVER let someone treat you like you are nothing. Things only change if people have the courage to say something is wrong!

Delena said...

It all boils down to " a bitch is a bitch" no matter what language she speaks.

Lynne said...

Oh... I SO identify with this!! You could have been talking about my life in Moorreesburg. Seems this is a problem in many parts of the world.
My latest tactic is to smile and be friendly... you have no idea how much that annoys people who are trying to dismiss you as not worthy of their attention!