Monday, March 08, 2010

can you feel sad and happy at the same time?

how on earth am i going to leave this?
this weekend i spent some time sitting by the fire out in the blue room, as it's come to be known - not to be confused with a bar by the same name in a little middle-of-nowhere town in the upper midwest. i tried to soak it all in. of course, the house has been for sale for awhile and i've known that i will have to part with this room, and in many ways, that's ok. there are things we learned from it and will do differently the next time (more square meters and better lighting). but oh, how i have loved this space - i have literally whispered "i love you room," upon entering on more than one occasion. there's just something so right about it. something that it's hard for me to define. it is at once light and roomy and yet cavelike. that must be the combination of lots of windows on both sides and the dark, rich, turquoise paint i chose. but it also has to do with the creative corner, where i sit, completely surrounded by art supplies - stamps, tape, paint, paper, fabrics, you name it, it's there.

these essential ingredients all come with us. when we go, all that will stay behind are the little wood burning stove and the blue walls. i haven't even decided if i'll leave the linen shades. i was always going to make them longer by adding some fabric to them, but i never got around to it. i've got to check to see if i need them on the windows in the new place (we still haven't heard whether our offer is accepted - there are some challenges (which may or may not involve morse code, telexes and possibly a dog sled team) reaching both parties to the sale).

although i'm sorrowful to leave this space, i am already scheming and planning the new space. i want that end wall that needs to be torn off anyway to incorporate various reclaimed windows, i want a balcony with a little office/computer space that overlooks the big room below, i want more space for books and better shelves for the fabric stash. i want a bigger table that's better for cutting out fabric and patterns and a big wall for laying out quilts. and the colors, just imagining the colors is exciting.  it might not be turquoise this time around. maybe it will be white with purple accents. or green. or a completely different blue. or a hot-blooded magenta. i don't really know. yet. but i think having all of these exciting possibilities is what will get me through the sorrow of leaving this beautiful space behind.

* * *

i've just drastically marked down everything in my etsy shop. i really don't want to have to pack these things up and move them, so do check it out. i'd much rather package them up all pretty and send them to you! there are a few helleristning stones, a couple of pillows, a baby quilt and a scarf. i know winter's almost over, but then you're ready for next fall!  there are a few of the spice line of clarity birds left as well in the big cartel shop, so if you'd like one to fly your way, go there. there will be a new line of clarity birds for summer (after the move). i'm also putting off the art journal course that i mentioned that i was planning until after we're settled into the new place - i had never announced dates anyway so we should be cool there. i just know my time will definitely be limited in the coming couple of months. we've got a LOT of stuff to pack!


Elizabeth said...

So many memories, so many pictures taken, so many objects created, so many friends visited and the fire burning slowly.

Even I am gonna miss the blue room, it is gonna be the mythical place of blogosphere.

Good luck with the packing.

xoxo e.

Barb said...

I started to cry when I was talking to the new owner of our house in Birmingham, AL. We were discussing practical stuff, like when the new roof was put on, and all of a sudden it hit me that it was her house, not mine. I hated to leave that house. But here I have Bambi. That more than makes up for it!

Sarah said...

I love that room!! Yes, I can understand it being hard to leave it, but I LOVE how you're looking forward to the new place. I'm sure you'll make it just as special. You seem to have a knack for that!

Off to check out your Etsy store. Have a great Monday!

Unknown said...

Yes, you can! I'm also sad and happy for you! We'll all miss the Blue Room but are already looking forward to blog camps in the new one! Good luck with packing, moving, etc! So exciting!

Numinosity said...

Elizabeth, that's beautiful what you said about the mythical blue room in blogosphere. That's a testimony to the atmosphere that can be created in a well written blog isn't it?
Setting up new spaces can be exciting too. I've had to set up studios in two places recently since I'm splitting my year in two places.


Anne said...

I'm excited for your prospects of a new and larger [blue] room, but oh, I see why it's hard to leave this one. It looks like such an oasis, and not just because of the color of the walls. I have no doubt that your new creative room will be every bit as lovely and enjoyable as this one has been. Happy scheming!

Joanna Jenkins said...

What a gorgeous room full of memories. I'd hate to leave it too.

But to be honest, I'm kinda glad you are because I can't wait to peek over your shoulder as you work on the new house. You have such a great talent for design and our tastes are so similar, I'll live vicariously through you for a while, if that's okay.

Pretty please!?!

Lisa-Marie said...

I think leaving a place always incorporates both sadness and happiness, and I think that each strengthens the ability to feel the other.

I am excited to read and see what you create in your new 'blue room that may not be blue'!

stephanie said...

It happens to me quite a bit. For me most emotions I experience are not all one way. I'm happy about something but makes me worry about something else. I am excited about something but totally anxious and stressed as well. I like to think it makes me sound complex rather than a basketcase, but basketcase is problem more accurate.

christina said...

of course you can. i have no doubt you will make the new place, just as lovely.

Katea said...

Melancholy is the word I use for that (the balance between simultaneous happy sadness) even though it's probably not the exact dictionary definition. Spaces sometimes become sacred as a result of our experiences in them; your blue room is a sacred space, in real time and blog time now that we've all connected to it in some way. Wouldn't it be nice if we could give the blue room a great big thank you hug? The next space is going to be lovely and essential, too.

mrs mediocrity said...

yes, you can be both at once...the older i get the more often it happens...but i think you learn to embrace even the things that make you sad in all becomes part of who you are. your room is beautiful!

Dutchbaby said...

You will carry your gift to create a magical space wherever you go. This beautiful blue space will be carved in your memory, and many others', and that can never be taken away from you.

Thank you for so generously sharing with all of us. Here's a book that has been an inspiration to me:

Bee said...

How about a Blog PACKING Camp? I'm sure that packing goes much faster if you are nattering with friends the entire time.

Eden said...

I can see why you love this room!! Hopefully with that chair and gorgeous pillow and books and supplies, you and they will be at home in a new room in no time!!! I would so favorite this pic if I found it on flickr!