Thursday, December 15, 2011

speed dating and that fizzy feeling

over the past few days i have come to understand the concept of speed dating (i realize i'm quite possibly left behind in the mid-noughties with this notion and perhaps no one does it anymore). speed dating in the sense of a fast, intense conversation with a new person, where you ask a series of set questions and form a quick impression. tho' my purpose was quite different than selecting a date (what with husband being a keeper and all) i think that the almost instantaneous sense of whether you click with a person is actually the same. i have effectively speed-dated more than 60 people in the past few days and there are handful that i could almost instantly tell that i would like to hang out with and get to know better.

during two of the conversations (quick word about my project: over a period of ten days, i'm assessing the english skills of 120+ people who work with children) i actually had goosebumps. i was left feeling decidedly fizzy and longing for more time. interestingly (and to my relief), those who i didn't connect intensely with didn't produce an opposite reaction of revulsion - it was more like the conversation was over quickly and there was no fizz. this reaction only marginally had to do with the language skills of the person in question.

this, of course, got me thinking. what is it that attracts us to other people? after this experience, i think it's something quite subconscious and perhaps even intangible. or it involves a whole lot of signals that we both give and receive of which we are almost completely unaware on a conscious level. i don't even think it has that much to do with the topics being discussed, it's just a kind of instant connection. chemistry perhaps? or maybe an ability to pick up on the energy or aura another person radiates?  whatever it is, i was left wanting more.

i can tell that i need to spend more time out among people. that fizzy feeling definitely gives me some much-needed energy.

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holy crap, i can't stop thinking about this.

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happy weekend, one and all!


will said...

Accidentally meeting someone and finding the perfect vibe is rare ... ironic, considering how many people scurry about on this planet.

A few years ago, while flying between LA and Seattle, the person sitting next was a sparkling match... everything about the encounter was perfect.

She worked in a creative field, used a Mac laptop and knew Apple's history, we discussed both high brow and low brow art ... she was LA/Seattle cool, smart, witty and attractive ... we also discussed her life with her boyfriend (and his career) and me and my family (and what they do).

The three hour flight seemed to last only 15 minutes because we both sensed we had much more to talk about.

My walk away thoughts were - "I'd like her to be my daughter". (There was the perfect age difference for a father-daughter relationship.)

I wanted/need that sort of coffee jolt friendship ... one that's fun and smart and gets the brain in high gear ... to find that mental place where creative thoughts stampede and lead to even more creativity.

Alas, we said our goodbyes and that was it. That was the best flight I've ever been on. Or it was the worst ... because I lost the opportunity to have a friend.

Spilling Ink said...

I think a lot of the time the initial "attraction" is a mirroring of body language. When that happens we feel understood - instantly. What's behind the instant mirroring of body language is a whole other story though...