Monday, May 09, 2011

a stormy undercurrent


i feel i'm holding so much back at the moment...blackness, revenge, outrage, displeasure, frustration, disappointment...i would like to just let it all out. i was threatening on facebook to start a new blog under a new identity where i do just that. i've long had a secret blog, but that moved from being a place of complaints to a place of secret wishes and dreams which had to be uttered, but not out loud. so i don't want to do it there. plus, that one is closed to the world and i wouldn't mind if these things get read. i just don't want them here, clouding up this bright space. because MPC is where i come for thinking and rest and respite and sharing and pretty pictures and the odd (hopefully) humorous rant. and i don't want it to be clouded over. tho' i'm a believer in blogging what you're really feeling, i just don't want to take this space in that direction. on the other hand, i need to get it outta my system. after all, blogging's cheaper than therapy.

13 comments:

Rhianne said...

I often think the same thing... I've never done it though mainly because I'm more worried that the negative side of me will become more dominant than the positive if I give it a chance.

poet said...

I know that feeling! Which is why I have three different blogs... one is barely being updated though.

Roberta said...

I wonder if we have all thought of that. I do try to avoid the blogs that are too sunny, but I fear that if I started releasing all my negative stuff into the blogosphere it would take me over.

So I will remain cautiously optimistic for now.

Karen said...

I have always enjoyed the blogs where the person is being real. (yours is one of them) I try to be myself on my blog, the good and sometimes a little bad, but never the ugly just because I don't want it out there forever.

Turbulent times come to all of us, and we each have to decide for ourselves what's best in dealing with the emotions of it all.

I do love that picture!

Sherry Smyth said...

I used to be like that and I had a bunch of different blogs where I could speak what I wanted to -- each was a part of me - like rooms in a house...but after awhile it all calmed down and I put myself back into one place....we all need outlets that speak to various parts of our self....

spudballoo said...

What a stunning photo, absolutely wonderful.

I think I'd be afraid that once I let the genie out of the bottle I'd never stop. There are various things that I would love to 'blog out' but I won't because some things are private/some things best left unsaid/too personal/too unprofessional blah. And anyway, that's what my Grudge Book is for ;-)

Sorry you're feeling black/frustrated/disappointed though. It's an awful feeling, I know it too well and it can eat away at you. xxx

Ally said...

I can understand your desire to keep one blog a happy place, and another blog a place for darker thoughts. That makes sense.

As long as you are authentic to who you are in both places, then what harm can come of it? It's just you-- expressed in two different ways and from two different points of view. Kind of cool, actually.

Pia K said...

you know i relate oh so much here. i keep it both ways in my blog i guess. although i could grump even more, i really really could. the limitless amount of frustration, gah...

we are all (or most of us) multilayered and it's nothing wrong at all with mixing this in blog too, but i also want to keep it light and bright only in general. but too often it overflows in the other direction...

Winterwood said...

I have a few blogs too all with a different purpose for posting..but not visible to the public!

so yes go do it, vent and in a few months time you may go back there and see that either things have changed or youre no longer in that frame of mind... yes agree.. cheaper than therapy lol!

One Woman's Thoughts said...

I think more people have secret blogs than we realize. We need to get it out, to write about it, to put it in words so we can see it, taste it, hear it. Somedays we are sunny, sometimes, hail and snow. It's all a part of us. It can be easier to be unknown . . . the truth doesn't have to be sugar coated.

Good post today.

Gran said...

I've had secret blogs in the past, kept them updated to blow off some steam, anonymously, and kept it going for months. Then I deleted the darn thing, realized I didn't need it anymore. Good luck, and take care.

Joanna Jenkins said...

I can totally relate.... except I have a blog AND a therapist. Maybe I should start a second blog and take the therapy $$$ and go on a glorious holiday.

Hope whatever is bugging you clears away soon.

Cheers, jj

Magpie said...

Oh, I hear you.